Posted in: Comics, Recent Updates | Tagged: Comics, kickstarter, roy sharpton

Roy Sharpton Will Strip Naked For Coins

Roy Sharpton writes;

Greetings space farers!

My name is Roy Sharpton.  I come to you from the future!

In the future there is a wild epidemic and most of the world's comics have become an endangered species.  I won't waste your time with the details.  Watch this!

Look, here is the deal.  Space Bastards is an ongoing comic book series which can only happen with your help.  I'm Roy Sharpton.  I know my shit.  And the future of the comic industry can only be saved with your help.  If somehow we are able to raise $5000 by October 8th than I will post a live action video of Roy Sharpton doing a special strip tease to the tune of Debra by Beck.  For all of you.  We already have like $2000 ahead of the game so far.

What's that?  That's not enough?  Roy Sharpton will announce every single name of every single backer that has invested themselves in this lefty goal.  HALF NAKED.

"Well, Roy.  I mean, that's rather hard to do.  I mean, we now have less than 72 hours (depending on when this runs)."

Well, great rewards require hard work.  But we are serious about rewarding you.  If we successfully raise $500 by that same time, then lead writer Eric Alan Peterson will legally change his name to Eric Danger Peterson.  This kid goes to like every comic convention around.  So with your help we can make him receive an endless torrent of strangers asking him if he's quite capable of dealing with danger.  His reply?  "Well.  Danger is my middle name.  For real."

Lets just pause and reflect on that a little bit.  This guy loves this book so much, that he will change his middle name, legally, for you.  Really.

What other rewards are there?  Well, actually, this comic is doing something historically significant.  This is the first comic in the history of the universe where YOU can pay through Kickstarter to be made into a recurring main character.  Think about that.  Every month, your friends coming up to you and going, "Hey, I saw in Space Bastards how you are now in the belly of that great space whale.  Wow man.  Wonder how you'll get out of it."   Seriously.  Become your own little micro-celebrity.  Has this ever been offered?  I'd bet EVEN money that has never happened.  EVEN money.

So, what is Space Bastards about?  Well, quite simply, it is the story about your America, spread across the cosmos.  In the future, the Native Americans were responsible for the debilitating state of your mail.  I mean maybe they did a good job with what they were given.  I don't fucking know.  All I know is that those guys sold me, Roy Sharpton, what was basically a bankrupt business for like chump change.  Space pirates were basically making interplanetary deliveries impossible.

So I hired a bunch of ex-convicts, out of work real estate agents– basically anybody that would heed the call– to enlist in the postal service, and these chumps will make good goddamn money if they  are the ones to deliver the package.  Other mailmen can use whatever means necessary to compete for these rewards.  Hell, let them kill each other, I say.  It's more entertaining that way.

The thing is, I have realized that your every day 9-5er has basically found life's meaning in this whole rigamarole.  Jesus. This has become a story of deluxe characterization set amidst the backdrop of savagery the likes you have probably not seen since Heavy Metal.  This barbaric comic is good for your soul.  Check out that kickstarter page and you can see 13 pages of the first 42 pages of this comic book.

I want your help.  Help me shed my skin, with the help of Bleeding Cool, and lets get writer Eric Peterson to change his name.

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