Austin Powers: Theater Student Picks Dr. Evil for Dramatic Monologue

Comedienne Lisa Gilroy decided to share an exercise her acting teacher tasked her with: to pick a dramatic monologue to perform from a film. The film she decided on was Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997). The scene in question was the father-son group therapy session participated by Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) and his son, Scott (Seth Green). The therapist is played by Carrie Fisher. What was powerful about the monologue is the comedy is delivered in such a deadpan manner.

Austin Powers: Theater Student Picks Dr. Evil for Dramatic Monologue
Mike Myers as Dr. Evil in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997). Image courtesy of New Line Cinema.

"The details of my life are quite inconsequential," Evil says. After some encouragement from the therapist, he continues. "Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize. He would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it."

The Austin Powers trilogy was a parody of the James Bond films, which spoofed every aspect of them from the over-the-top enemies to his excessive libido. Myers played both the title character and his arch-nemesis, who resembles Ernesto Blofeld in the older Bond films. The success of the AP franchise actually made Eon and MGM rebuild their Bond franchise back to basics with Daniel Craig whose latest film and final appearance in No Time to Die is slated for an Easter 2021 release. The Austin Powers franchise grossed a combined $676 million globally. Here's the original scene followed by the recreation.

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Tom ChangAbout Tom Chang

I'm a follower of pop culture from gaming, comics, sci-fi, fantasy, film, and TV for over 30 years. I grew up reading magazines like Starlog, Mad, and Fangora. As a professional writer for over 10 years, Star Wars was the first sci-fi franchise I fell in love with. I'm a nerd-of-all-trades.
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