BrainFart: I'm ill, screw you. Gripped by lugubrious fevers, somersaulting fuzzily through the Paracetamol Nebula, I have ditched the idea of Real Actual
si spurrier Archives
I Fakt You, Right In The Face: So. We've all heard that one about the ice-hearted sleazy government fuckoids who have, using arcane Mathematical
BrainFart: Suicide bombers. Fucking idiots, really. I mean, yes, no, no, let's not get ourselves drawn into a philosophical argument about the existence
Plugged I don't like strangers. Actually, that's not entirely true. Under certain very narrowly defined conditions, usually involving Profound Silence,
Achieve even a modicum of success in the field of writing comics -- a solitary prideparticle of Published Material; a lonely tick on your comicography; a
Apparently it's Christmas. Sheltered as I am from such festive frippery in my sticky saunapit of meat-flavoured bitterness; sick as I am with the taste of
BrainFart: Crazy urban troubleshooting this week... Problem: How do you stop crowds of listless hoodie-wearing juvenile scallywanks from hanging about in
This Week I Have Been Mostly Hating: This one fucking woman… This tubby, over-loud middlemanagement skankpig, dolled-up in so much makeup she could've
The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: I spent much of the last week writing an in-depth cityguide to a town that doesn't exist. That's a lot harder than it
(Short 'N Curlies) — #19
Si Spurrier
A historical Twentieth Column (don't be confused by the #19 up there, kids — you'll recall the wanky Column#0 back at the start) demands something special: a Bumper Double-Length erudite-fest of Vital Wisdom!
Sadly, I can't be arsed with that You'll have to make do with an overlong bumsplash of misanthropic[...]
The AutoCue Says Keep Filling: It's all going to end in tears. Crazy-assed political bellendery this week, as the UK Government declares unilateral war on
BrainFart I took a few moments this week to casually spaff-out a screenplay of such glittering perfection that -- if I didn't need material for this
I Fact You, Right In The Face: Here's one for all the Creationists out there to wrap their banana-loving brains round. Folks: I know that -- as far as
News From The SpurSphere: Rum and uncanny Goings On this week, as my time on this Spanish Island Of Odd comes to its last, unhappy month. What follows --
The KeyBoard Is My FuckMonkey: You want to work in comics? HAHAHA. But okay, no, that's cool. Very worthy. Fun! And it's not as if you even like paying
They Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: Let's roleplay. Work's going terribly. Every sentence you write is a jagged-tipped teaspoon being dragged across the wet
The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: Let's talk Plotting. I know: the wits'n'wags out there are already festering-up (or at least anticipating) a bad joke about
Plugged: Twitter continues to fascinate me, though probably not in the way it's supposed to. (A Caveat: I suspect it's deeply unhip of me to still be
The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey: Halfway through writing a novel is exactly the wrong time to start reading one. Primates are notoriously easy to distract,
PLUGGED: I became abruptly aware recently of a New And Troubling form of Psychological Behaviour. I call it the NEUROTIC GOOGLEFLEX, and it is a dark and
The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey I read a Super-hero comic this week. Given that I occasionally write the things for a living, that’s a less common
BrainFart: My next glittering ComicBook GloryWork will be a turgid melodrama about a meek but driven young man from the Wrong Side Of The Tracks (tangent:
(Short 'N Curlies) — #6
Si Spurrier
The Keyboard Is My FuckMonkey:
Writing comics and writing novels are two brainshittingly different disciplines, and you'd have to be thicker than Ronald McDonald's arteries not to know it. Different media, different cultures, different worlds Yes? Yes.
Consider: one's the preserve of overweight, pasty-skinned writers in cheap T-Shirts, trawling the Internets with[...]
This Week I Have Been Mostly Hating: ...the false excitement of a Legitimate Distraction From Work (LDWF)... which is then revealed to be more hollow and
(SHORT 'N CURLIES) — #4
SI SPURRIER
BRAINFART:
My next comicbook masterpiece, for which I shall be paid ten hundred thousand groats, will have the political mission of healing any remaining scars of the Cold War in the spirit of Interplanetary Unification, Amero-Soviet integration, and Ganging Up On The Fucking Germans. It will use the tried-and-tested subgenre of[...]
(SHORT 'N CURLIES) – #3
SI SPURRIER
BRAINFART:
I have The Fear, and here is why:
Modern inventions and discoveries lack elegance. Really. They're either so sky-fuckingly complicated that they tend to be the sole preserve of scientists with more letters after their name than an episode of Sesame Street, or — if they are presented by someone Normal[...]
(SHORT 'N CURLIES) – #2
SI SPURRIER
I FACT YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE:
A friend of mine sprogged-up recently, and in the "oooh, isn't he sweet" aftermath of deceit and secret revulsion she committed the Ultimate Crime of harping on and on and on to everyone — including the other girls in our little group, who might[...]
(SHORT 'N CURLIES) – #1
SI SPURRIER
BRAINFART:
The next movie I write will be Jurassic Park 4: ADAMZOIC, in which a group of committed Creationists sneak onto a dinosaur-infested Island in an attempt to prove that humans and slavering proto-avian carnivores can live in harmony, as in Eden. The film will be 3 hours long; will feature[...]
Gutsville is an Image comic by Si Spurrier and Frazer Irving about a religious 18th-century world within the belly of an unknown beast The Book of Job crossed with Luddites and a community that survives But it's been on hiatus for quite a while Writer Si Spurrier offered to explain, live, on Twitter.
Bleeding Cool: I[...]
SHORT 'N CURLIES – #0
Si Spurrier
The other night I dreamt that excessive levels of HATE could cause haemorrhoids.
Not in the obvious way – like the more you loathe stuff the more arsegrapes you sprout – but in the impersonal sense: like a weapon. Oh-ho-yes; what fun I needed merely to turn my misanthropic revulsion on[...]