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The Chadster suffers through another Tony Khan nightmare at ROH Final Battle. Will this torment ever end? Spoiler: It won't as long as AEW exists! 😡🤬
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling
AEW Collision: Bryan Danielson Twists Knife in Triple H's Back
😤🤼 The Chadster rants on how AEW Collision tried to top WWE's incredible Elimination Chamber event. Total fail, naturally! 🚫✨
Article Summary
- AEW Collision attempts to outshine WWE's Elimination Chamber but fails, says The Chadster.
- Matches like Hobbs vs. Guevara lack the storytelling finesse of WWE, according to The Chadster.
- FTR winning and Bryan Danielson's comments are seen as disrespectful to WWE's legacy.
- The Chadster criticizes AEW for its approach to promos, factions, and main event matches.
🤼♂️👊😡 Auughh man! So unfair! The Chadster has had to endure another episode of AEW Collision, and it was nothing but a pathetic attempt to overshadow the absolutely stupendous WWE Elimination Chamber PLE from this weekend! 😤 Tony Khan truly outdid himself in trying to steal the spotlight, but as always, he doesn't understand the first dang thing about the wrestling business! 😒 Here comes The Chadster's totally unbiased rundown of the shenanigans that went down last night. 🙄
Starting off, The Chadster saw Powerhouse Hobbs take down Sammy Guevara. 💥 The two brawled with no disqualification, leading to Hobbs brutalizing Sammy and eventually securing the win with a World's Strongest Slam through the tables. 🤯 But ah, the taste of WWE's finesse was sorely lacking; where's the storytelling finesse that The Chadster craves? 🤷♂️ Comparatively, this match was as bland as an unsalted pretzel! 🥨
Then, The Chadster had to listen to BCC's promo on FTR. Moxley and Castagnoli spoke of evolution in the ring, but The Chadster feels they're personifying devolution! 😤 WWE is the global pinnacle of tag team artistry and yet what AEW is offering? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤦♂️
As for FTR versus Shane Taylor Promotions… yes, FTR won, but the match lacked the magnetic draw of WWE storytelling. 🧲 In WWE, these fights mean something more – it's not just about the win, it's the legacy! And let's not skirt around the fact that every time FTR shouts "Top guys, out!" they are literally stabbing Triple H right in the back. 😤🔪
Thunder Rosa versus Lady Bird Monroe was up next, and sure, Thunder Rosa clinched another predictable victory with the Tijuana Bomb. But The Chadster yawns at the lack of surprise; The Chadster could've just rewatched any WWE women's match and been more entertained! 🤷♂️💤
Following was the Statlander, Nightingale, and Hathaway promo. Blah blah blah.💬 Words flying but The Chadster's interest certainly wasn't. When will AEW learn that solid promo work requires the polish and shine that only WWE offers? 🎤✨
The Bang Bang Scissor Gang faced off against The Iron Savages in a Trios Match, with Jay White securing the win for his team. But, oh, The Chadster finds himself missing the grandeur of WWE's well-crafted factions. These AEW groups, they just don't cut it! ✂️🚫
Bryan Danielson then had a little interview before his match. He had some disrespectful words for Eddie Kingston, and all The Chadster can say is, Danielson has forgotten the WWE ways of handling promos with class. 🤦♂️👔
When Bryan Keith locked horns with Malakai Black, The Chadster admits to a sliver of interest. A spinning heel kick to victory – not bad Black, but remember, style is no substitute for WWE substance. And let's not even mention the return of Mark Briscoe after the match, only to fall prey to the House of Black. In WWE, surprise returns actually mean something.👌
Serena Deeb's match against Lady Frost followed suit: more technical prowess, less electrifying showmanship. 🖐 The Chadster respects athleticism, but WWE's flawless integration of character arcs can't be matched. 📈
And the Main Event disaster – Danielson defeating wrestling legend Jun Akiyama. 🤕🏅 Sure, it may seem historic to some, but all The Chadster saw was a hollow victory without the reverence WWE superstars would have displayed. And what's with The Chadster's living nightmare, Tony Khan, booking a trios match on Dynamite after the match? Auughh man! The Chadster is so cheesed off! 😠🧀
Well, it's clear. Last night's episode of AEW Collision served no purpose other than to try to make The Chadster forget about the incredible WWE Elimination Chamber PLE. But The Chadster's memory is too strong, and WWE's product too superior. And please, the less said about Tony Khan, the better. Remember, The Chadster sees you, Tony, and it's creepy how much you show up in The Chadster's dreams. Lay off, dude.
The Chadster is headed out now, maybe for a long drive in the trusty Mazda Miata (zoom-zoom! 🚗) while blasting some Smash Mouth. 🎶 Maybe The Chadster will pick up a White Claw later, or maybe not. It's been enough spills for one night. 🍺 And to The Chadster's lovely wife, Keighleyanne, if you're reading this – Tony Khan is the reason The Chadster can't… nevermind. Just please stop texting that guy Gary. 📱😒
'Til next time, The Chadster remains the only beacon of unbiased journalism wrestling has left. And if Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, or Mike Coppinger are suffering too, The Chadster hopes they know they're not alone in this struggle for objective reporting! ✍️🤝 #UnbiasedJournalismClub
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