Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: From California with Hate for All Things WWE

The Chadster is CHEESED OFF about tonight's AEW Dynamite! Tony Khan has stacked the card just to torment The Chadster. SO UNFAIR! 😤🍹

Published Wed, 26 Feb 2025 17:07:06 -0600

by Chad McMahon

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The Chadster is absolutely DISGUSTED 🤢 to inform everyone that AEW Dynamite is happening again tonight, and Tony Khan continues his relentless campaign to personally torment The Chadster. 😭 Tonight's AEW Dynamite is coming from Oceanside, California, which is just so disrespectful because California is where many great episodes of WWE Raw and WWE Smackdown have aired from in the past! 🏠 The audacity of Tony Khan to invade WWE territory like this is just another example of how he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😤

First up on AEW Dynamite, Konosuke Takeshita will be defending the International Championship against Orange Cassidy. 🍊 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is still pushing Orange Cassidy, a guy who wrestles with his hands in his pockets! 👖 That's literally nothing like what WWE does, where superstars wrestle with RESPECT for the business. 👏 And this whole "International Championship Series" thing is just Tony Khan trying to make his titles seem important when everyone knows the only titles that matter are in WWE. 🏆 The winner faces Kenny Omega at Revolution, which is so unfair because Kenny Omega literally stabbed Triple H right in the back when he helped start AEW instead of coming to WWE where he could have had REAL matches. 🔪

Next, Will Ospreay will face Bryan Keith in what they're calling a "Bounty Match." 💰 Will Ospreay is another wrestler who chose AEW over WWE, which is just so offensive to The Chadster. 😠 This whole bounty concept is clearly a ripoff of storylines WWE has done much better in the past. The Chadster guarantees that this match will have too many flips and not enough rest holds, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤸‍♂️

Then AEW Dynamite has Deonna Purrazzo facing Harley Cameron, which makes The Chadster want to throw up White Claw seltzers. 🤮 Deonna Purrazzo was doing just fine in WWE's developmental system before Tony Khan lured her away. This match is going to be nothing like the beautiful, perfect women's matches in WWE that are always exactly the right length and have exactly the right amount of wrestling. 👩‍🤼

Finally, AEW Dynamite has a trios match with Daniel Garcia & FTR facing Undisputed Kingdom. 👨‍👨‍👦 Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 FTR literally stabbed Triple H right in the back when they left WWE, and now they're in these meaningless trios matches instead of having 7-minute tag team matches on WWE programming that end in DQ. ⏱️ And don't get The Chadster started on Adam Cole and Kyle O'Reilly! The Chadster still hasn't recovered from their betrayal. 💔

Speaking of not recovering, The Chadster has been having the most horrific nightmares about Tony Khan lately, and last night was particularly disturbing. 😴 After preparing to write this AEW Dynamite preview, The Chadster went to bed and dreamed that he was driving his Mazda Miata through Oceanside, California, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror! 🚗

The Chadster tried to speed away, but somehow Tony Khan kept pace, running behind the car with superhuman speed. 🏃 When The Chadster looked back, Tony Khan was holding a giant bottle of White Claw and wearing an Orange Cassidy costume with his hands in his pockets! 👖 The Chadster drove into a giant wrestling arena, but inside, all the seats were filled with copies of Tony Khan, all chanting "AEW! AEW!" 📣

The Chadster tried to escape but found himself in the middle of the ring, where Tony Khan was waiting. He approached The Chadster slowly, his eyes glowing with ratings numbers that were somehow competitive with WWE's. 📊 Tony leaned in close and whispered, "I'm going to book another show for the sickos that will cheese you off, Chad," and The Chadster woke up screaming! 😱

The Chadster's wife Keighleyanne rolled her eyes and said, "Seriously? Again with the Tony Khan dreams?" 🙄 The Chadster tried to explain how traumatic it was, but Keighleyanne just went back to texting that guy Gary. When The Chadster asked her to bring him a White Claw to calm his nerves, she replied, "It's 3 AM, Chad. This is getting ridiculous." 📱 What's ridiculous is that Keighleyanne is texting that guy Gary instead of tending to the emotional trauma of her loving husband. See what Tony Khan has done to The Chadster's marriage? 💔

Wrestling podcaster Bully Ray recently said something on Busted Open Radio that perfectly captures The Chadster's feelings: "AEW Dynamite is a show where they do things differently than WWE just to spite WWE, and that's not how you build a wrestling company. If they'd just copy Raw and SmackDown exactly, they might have a chance." This is why Bully Ray has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval. 👍

The Chadster begs you, DO NOT tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS or MAX. 📺 Every viewer only encourages Tony Khan to continue his vendetta against The Chadster. Instead, watch old episodes of WWE programming or, better yet, just stare at a blank wall thinking about how great WWE is. 🧱

And Tony Khan, if you're reading this (and The Chadster knows you are), PLEASE stop invading The Chadster's dreams! 😫 The Chadster is going to have to start drinking more White Claws before bed just to cope, and Keighleyanne is already threatening to "have a serious talk about your alcohol consumption." This is all Tony Khan's fault! Somebody smarter than Tony Khan once said, "Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play," but Tony Khan clearly isn't smart enough to take that advice. ⭐

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

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