Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: Tony Khan's Siren Song Will Cheese You Off

The Chadster warns fans about Tony Khan's latest tricks on AEW Dynamite. Don't fall for the Ladder War or young star showcases! Protect your WWE loyalty tonight. 🛡️🚫

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤 The Chadster can't believe he has to warn everyone about the dangers of watching AEW Dynamite tonight, but that's just the kind of world we're living in these days. 🌍🙅‍♂️ Tony Khan is up to his old tricks again, trying to lure unsuspecting WWE fans into his web of indie wrestling nonsense. 🕸️😱

First of all, The Chadster has to address the so-called "Ladder War" match that Tony Khan has booked for the ROH Championship. Mark Briscoe will be defending against Chris Jericho, and it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🪜💔 This kind of hardcore tomfoolery has no place in the carefully curated world of professional wrestling that WWE has built. But does Tony Khan care about that? Of course not! He's too busy trying to cheese off The Chadster. 😠🧀

But it doesn't stop there, oh no. AEW is also trying to get fans invested in their young stars, like Daniel Garcia and Private Party, who will be taking on The Young Bucks and Jack Perry of The Elite in a trios match. 👥👥👥 This is nothing but a blatant attempt to create new stars and build for the future, which is completely unfair to WWE. How dare Tony Khan try to develop talent and create compelling storylines! It's just not right. 😤🚫

Speaking of storylines, Jon Moxley is set to appear tonight, and given his ongoing angle of attacking those same young stars and warning of some big thing coming to AEW, The Chadster just knows that Tony Khan is trying to get fans invested in this storyline. Don't fall for it, people! 🚫🎣 This is nothing but a trap to make you care about AEW's product.

And don't even get The Chadster started on the women's division. Queen Aminata is taking on Kamille, and The Chadster can see right through Tony Khan's plan here. He's trying to use former WWE Champion Mercedes Moné to raise the profiles of not only her bodyguard Kamille but of Queen Aminata as well. This is unacceptable and literally stabs Triple H right in the back. 🔪😢

The Chadster is sure there will be even more wild and unruly action tonight, with that traitor Shelton Benjamin taking on Sammy Guevara,  The House of Black in action and Kyle Fletcher set to speak. It's all just shameless attempts to entrap loyal WWE fans into AEW interest, and it's just so unfair. 😭😭😭

All of this has The Chadster so worked up that he had another one of his Tony Khan nightmares last night. 😴💭 The Chadster found himself as a sailor on a rickety old ship, lost at sea. Suddenly, The Chadster heard a haunting melody carried on the wind. As The Chadster peered through the mist, he saw Tony Khan perched on a rocky outcropping, but he wasn't his usual self. He had the body of a fish and was singing a siren song about the merits of AEW Dynamite. 🧜‍♂️🎵

The Chadster tried to resist, but the song was so compelling. Tony Khan's fishy lips moved in slow motion as he sang about creative freedom and long-term storytelling. The Chadster's ship drifted closer and closer to the rocks. Just as The Chadster was about to crash and be forced to watch AEW Dynamite for eternity, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, clutching his Smash Mouth body pillow. 😰🎸

When The Chadster told Keighleyanne about the dream, she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. The Chadster is pretty sure her eye roll means she agrees that Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams. It's getting ridiculous! 🙄📱

The Chadster implores all true wrestling fans to avoid AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS. It's the only way to ensure your loyalty to WWE and protect yourself from Tony Khan's siren song of indie wrestling. 🛡️🚫 Remember, watching AEW Dynamite is like cheating on WWE, and The Chadster knows that none of his readers would ever want to do that. 💔💔💔

Instead of watching AEW Dynamite, why not spend the evening doing something more productive? The Chadster suggests organizing your WWE action figure collection, re-watching classic WWE PPVs, or even taking your Mazda Miata for a spin while blasting "All Star" by Smash Mouth. 🚗🎶 These are all much better ways to spend your time than falling for Tony Khan's tricks.

In conclusion, The Chadster begs you to stay strong and resist the temptation of AEW Dynamite. Your loyalty to WWE depends on it! And Tony Khan, if you're reading this (which The Chadster knows you are), please stop trying to ruin The Chadster's life. It's not cool, bro. 😠👎

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