Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: What is Tony Khan's Big Announcement About?

Tonight's AEW Dynamite teases a major Tony Khan announcement! Plus, clashes in the ring that have The Chadster seriously cheesed off! 😡🧀🤼‍♂️

Oh boy, here we go again, folks! Tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite looks to be yet another display of how Tony Khan is trying to give The Chadster a serious case of high blood pressure 😡. And The Chadster just knows that whatever "big announcement" Tony has planned, it's going to be something that'll totally cheese The Chadster off. Every. Single. Time. 🧀🤬

Rumors are swirling that tonight could be the night Tony Khan dips into his endless well of cash to bring in either Mercedes Moné, Kazuchika Okada, or—get this—both! 💸😱 Now, The Chadster can understand the appeal of wanting to perform in front of audiences worldwide, but to choose AEW over the grandeur and legacy of WWE? That's like choosing a cover band over seeing Smash Mouth live in concert, and everyone knows Smash Mouth is the epitome of musical perfection 🎸🎤! Why would Mercedes Moné or Okada make such a huge mistake?! Auughh man! So unfair!

If they join AEW, it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Those two wrestling stars—who have the potential to shine brightest on the grandest stages—would literally be stabbing The Rock right in the back 🗡️😓. It's clear to The Chadster that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business!

In the rest of the misadventures on tonight's AEW Dynamite 😒, we've got Sting and Darby Allin challenging Ricky Starks and Big Bill for the Tag Team Championships. Sting's isrespectful retirement looming just grinds The Chadster's gears ⚙️—how disloyal can one be to retire again after rightfully retiring in WWE?! Then there's Toni Storm taking on Red Velvet. 🍰 Really setting the culinary bar low with those names, huh, Tony?

Next up is the stars of CMLL facing the Blackpool Combat Club in what The Chadster can only see as international collusion against WWE 🤼‍♂️🌍. It's a blatant conspiracy, and it's as plain as the nose on The Chadster's face—which is quite handsome, by the way, especially framed in the rearview mirror of The Chadster's snazzy Miata.

Chris Jericho is set to face Konosuke Takeshita, and honestly, The Chadster is shocked Jericho hasn't realized that this path he's on is so beneath him. Remember the glory days in WWE, Chris? 😔 Lastly, Hangman Adam Page is going head-to-head with Swerve Strickland for the third time, and believe it or not, it's to become the number one contender for Samoa Joe's AEW Championship. Third time's the charm? More like three strikes and you're out—of touch with what true wrestling is supposed to be! 🙄

All this, and The Chadster is left to drink a White Claw seltzer 🍹 just to get through the ordeal of watching—we know who's really responsible for that seltzer bill, don't we? It's on you, Tony! And when Keighleyanne refuses to understand why The Chadster had to toss his beverage at the TV in dismay over this mess, well, it's clear Tony Khan is even targeting The Chadster's domestic bliss 😢.

The Chadster's conversations with Keighleyanne usually go like this: "Hun, can you believe what Tony's done now?" And she, enraptured by that guy Gary's latest text message, simply sighs—a clear sign she's in agreement with The Chadster, though she won't say it out loud. It's evident: Tony Khan's vendetta even extends to The Chadster's marriage and it's just too much 😡🤲.

Remember, pals, whenever reading The Chadster's musings, you're soaking in the words of one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling 📝✨. Maybe Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger can relate to The Chadster's struggle for objective journalism. Do they get splashed with mystery liquids when Tony Khan's reflection taunts them from shop windows too? 🤔👻 Stay strong, brothers in unbiased reporting!

Until next time—always remember, The Chadster is out here fighting the good fight against everything AEW stands for. It's a battle of one sane man against the world. And for what it's worth, The Chadster's Mazda Miata still outshines any of Tony Khan's fancy cars. Vroom, vroom! 🚗💨

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!