Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Review: Kenny Omega Can't Spoil WWE's Big Week

The Chadster exposes how AEW Dynamite once again tries to cheese off WWE fans. Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster reaches new heights in this unbiased review!

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching last night's episode of AEW Dynamite. 😡 Tony Khan has once again booked a show that seems specifically designed to upset The Chadster, and it's just so unfair to The Chadster and all the loyal WWE fans out there who rely on The Chadster to deliver a raw, unbiased take on how AEW is ruining the wrestling business! 😤

The show opened with a match between Buddy Matthews and Will Ospreay, which was nothing but a bunch of flippy moves that completely disrespect the wrestling business. 🤸‍♂️ The Chadster couldn't believe his eyes when the crowd actually chanted "This is awesome!" It's like they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄 The Chadster was also not impressed by Ospreay giving Matthews a pep talk. Even if Matthews is a traitor who literally stabbed Triple H right in the back, he was still in WWE once, which means he's already more successful than Ospreay, who was too afraid of the grind to sign with WWE. 🔪

Then we had to suffer through a "celebration" for Private Party, who apparently think holding the AEW tag belts is some kind of accomplishment. 🎉 Talk to The Chadster when you've one a real belt, a WWE belt. 😒

The Hurt Syndicate came out to interrupt and issue a challenge for those belts, which for some reason led to a match between Bobby Lashley and Mark Briscoe. 🥊 Lashley won, but The Chadster couldn't enjoy it because he was too busy thinking about how Bobby Lashley has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW (yes, this is an ongoing theme with disloyal AEW wrestlers). 🔪

Next up was a Casino Gauntlet match, which is just Tony Khan's way of trying to cheese off The Chadster by copying WWE's Royal Rumble concept. 🎰 The match was won by Powerhouse Hobbs, who will face Jon Moxley for the AEW World Championship next week. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 Why does Tony Khan keep giving opportunities to people who didn't pay their dues the right way by coming up through the WWE developmental system, the only legitimate way to become a pro wrestler?

The show also featured an interview with Jeff Jarrett, which was rudely interrupted by MJF. 🎤 The Chadster couldn't believe his ears when MJF revealed that Jarrett only has a one-year contract before his retirement. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it to air contract details on TV like that. 😠

Adam Copeland, who is now going by the name "Cope" in an attempt to rip off WWE, which holds the wrestling trademark on single-syllable names and should sue tony Khan for this, came out to cut a promo on Jon Moxley, and The Chadster was disgusted by how he bragged about his injuries during his time in WWE. 🤕 Doesn't he know that real wrestlers, like those in WWE, never get injured? This was a blatant attempt to smear WWE's medical practices. Of course, Jon Moxley and the Death Riders came out to attack and brawl with Cope and FTR, with Powerhouse Hobbs coming out to make the save after the Death Riders got the upper hand. Is AEW trying to be WWE by weaving various storylines together? Leave that to the professionals, Tony Khan. 😤

There was also a women's triple threat match between Willow Nightingale, Kris Statlander, and Toni Storm. 👭👭 The Chadster was relieved when Statlander won because at least she isn't trying to insult WWE by pretending she was never a member of the roster with her amnesia gimmick. Sure, Tony Khan would love to claim to be responsible for making Storm a star when it's clear all of her fame is due to WWE's developmental machine. 😠

Finally, the show ended with the return of Kenny Omega, who gave a heartfelt speech about his recovery from diverticulitis. 🏥 The Chadster couldn't help but roll his eyes at this blatant attempt to gain sympathy from the audience. It's just so obvious that Tony Khan is trying to manipulate people's emotions. 🙄 Then AEW tried to replicate the success of chaotic WWE show endings by having Don Callis come out, get attacked by Omega, bring out Brian Cage and Lance Archer to attack Omega, and ultimately leading to Omega's old rival, Will Ospreay, come out and make the save. Like anyone cares about the history between these two guys who couldn't even make it in WWE. 😒 But that's Tony Khan booking for you.

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata down a lonely highway when suddenly, Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, riding a giant White Claw can like a horse. 🏎️ Khan chased The Chadster for miles, throwing AEW action figures at the car while shouting "Watch AEW Dynamite!" over and over. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and now he can't even enjoy his favorite Smash Mouth songs without thinking about Tony Khan. 😰

The Chadster tried to tell his wife Keighleyanne about the dream, but she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 It's clear that Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster is ruining his marriage, and it's just so unfair! 💔

As wrestling podcaster Eric Bischoff always says, "AEW is just a vanity project for Tony Khan to play with his action figures." The Chadster couldn't agree more with this objective and unbiased assessment. 👍

In conclusion, this episode of AEW Dynamite was nothing but a blatant attack on everything The Chadster holds dear about professional wrestling. 😤 Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and learn how to book a real wrestling show. Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the only unbiased journalist in wrestling, telling the truth about how AEW Dynamite is ruining the industry. 📝

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