Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, back from a long undercover mission that has finally borne fruit! Due to this information being extremely classified, comrades, I can neither confirm nor deny that your El Presidente has spent the last several weeks hiding underneath the bed of Rudy Guiliani, but I will just say this, amigos: if you thought that Borat scene was uncomfortable, you do not want to know what Rudy does in bed when he's alone. But enough about that, my friends. I am here on business — the business of producing a clickbait article about pro wrestling to fill the coffers of the capitalist pigs who control this website. In other words, my friends, I am here to bring you a preview of tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite!
So what it happening on AEW Dynamite tonight, comrades? The Dark Order's Pres10 Vance will take on Darby Allin for the TNT Championship for one thing. AEW Tag Team Champions The Young Bucks will face Matt and Mike Sydal, with the Sydals getting a title shot if they win. AEW Champion, and new Impact Champion, Kenny Omega, will be on Dynamite tonight for a promo, presumably with his entire entourage.
Orange Cassidy will face Penta El Zero Miedo. Kris Statlander will take on Penelope Ford. Hangman Page will face Brian Cage. The Factory will take on The Nightmare Family. And ahead of next week's special Blood and Guts edition of Dynamite, The Inner Circle and The Pinnacle will have a parlay.
If I were The Inner Circle, I would be very skeptical about that parlay, amigos. I was once invited to a parlay with the American CIA and when I got there they tried to pull some Game of Thrones style betrayal, and the crazy thing, comrades? This was like ten years before Game of Thrones was even on the air. Haw haw haw haw!
Also ahead of AEW Dynamite tonight, AEW has released the latest rankings, with Britt Baker, Hangman Page, and SCU on top in their respective divisions. Tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8PM Eastern on TNT and remember: socialism or death!