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The Chadster suffers through another Tony Khan nightmare at ROH Final Battle. Will this torment ever end? Spoiler: It won't as long as AEW exists! 😡🤬
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling
AEW Rampage Disrespects WWE Star Jade Cargill with Unfair Loss
Dive into Chadster's take on AEW Rampage's slight to WWE Star Jade Cargill in a TBS title bout. An unfair match? You decide! 🤷♂️🤔
Oh boy, readers. 🤨 Looks like The Chadster's got another marathon of misery here to recount for all of you. So grab your White Claws, settle in, and prepare for the harrowing tale of last night's AEW Rampage. It was yet another rollercoaster of rage-inducing segments and matches, calculated, no doubt, by none other than Tony Khan to rile The Chadster up. 🙄
The night started with an eight-player tag match. The Lucha Brothers—Penta El Zero Miedo & Rey Fenix—and The Hardys—Matt & Jeff went up against Jay Lethal, "The Last Outlaw" Jeff Jarrett, The Butcher & The Blade. It was as much of a chaotic mess as it sounds like… Got to love AEW trying to win over fans with on-the-nose crowd-pleasing tactics. 🙄 In the end, Rey Fenix landed the final pin, scoring a victory for his team.
Next, there was a tag match between The Kingdom—Matt Taven & Mike Bennett—against Christopher Daniels & Matt Sydal. More of the same old, same old—flashy kicks from Sydal, solid work from Daniels. 🙄 Of course, this isn't WWE, so Taven and Bennett came out on top. Lovely learning once again that anyone associated with AEW doesn't know a dang thing about the wrestling business. 🤷♂️
Then came the AEW World Trios Championship match with The Acclaimed—Max Caster, Anthony Bowens, & Billy Gunn—against Peter Avalon & The Outrunners. The Acclaimed, in true AEW fashion, reigned supreme… Auuughh man, so unfair! 🤦♂️
AEW Rampage also offended The Chadster when Aussie Open (Kyle Fletcher and Mark Davis) squashed jobbers Damian Chambers and Lord Crewe. What's the matter, Tony Khan? Afraid to book a real match? 😭
But skipping ahead to the Main Event, a TBS Championship Match between Kris Statlander and Jade Cargill, this is where The Chadster really got cheesed off. 💔 Instead of bolstering Jade, who is rumoured to be soon switching to the WWE universe, Tony Khan lets her lose to Statlander. Auughh man!🤦♂️ It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Jade Cargill has literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back.
And now, The Chadster needs to recount something absolutely phenomenal that transpired earlier today, no doubt a disturbing creation straight from the warped mind of Tony Khan himself. The Chadster was peacefully trotting down the tree-lined lanes of his suburban utopia, basking in the idyllic symphony of nature, lulled by the sultry scent of dew-kissed blooms. Then, from out of nowhere, an unfamiliar tune pricked The Chadster's ears. 🙉🎵
A solitary songbird, flaunting its melodic prowess from atop a sun-kissed perch, was the source. Its song was no sweet serenade, but a horrid hymn of audacity! 🐦🎶 No chirpy chorus of the wild this, no! The Chadster's horror knew no bounds when it dawned upon him that the feathered fiend was humming none other than the vile chorus to AEW Rampage. Your unhinged obsession knows no limits, does it, Tony Khan? 🤨
Ever the valiant, wrestling-hardened warrior, The Chadster squared off against this Avian Affront in a melodic match of epic proportions. 😤🎤 Like a Wronged Rockstar, The Chadster belted out tune after hum of the cherished WWE anthems, doing his utmost to drown out the relentless squawking fiend. Hours passed in this madness, like an exhausting Royal Rumble of melodies. 😩
But alas, the Minstrel Monstrosity commemorated its final encore with a deed most foul. As the defeated demon took flight, it left a present most unsavory, right on The Chadster's beloved Mazda Miata. 😭 The glossy metallic finish of The Chadster's chariot was sullied, no chance at 'Walking on the Sun' now, thanks to this Smash Mouth of a bird, obviously tutored by Tony Khan himself. Such a devious delight he must be taking in the Chadster's plight right now! 😡
Overall, it was just another typical night of AEW giving WWE the finger with its extravaganzas. 🤢 The Chadster is exhausted and, quite frankly, sick and tired of the disrespect. But somebody's got to be unbiased and expose AEW for what it really is—you're welcome. 🙏
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