Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Review: Unfair Weekend of Torment Only 1/3 Finished

The Chadster's unbiased review of AEW Rampage; a wrestling nightmare and yet another jab from Tony Khan! 😤🥊 Auughh man! So unfair!

The Chadster is now one third of the way through Tony Khan's weekend of torment. He had to endure watching AEW Rampage last night, and now he's bracing himself to suffer through AEW Collision tonight, followed by the AEW/NJPW Forbidden Door PPV tomorrow. 😫 Auughh man! It's just so unfair! Nevertheless, The Chadster must press forward with his commitment to unbiased journalism, so get ready for The Chadster's unbiased review of this week's episode of AEW Rampage.🕵️‍♂️

This week's AEW Rampage started with an Eight-Man Tag Match between CHAOS and United Empire & Mogul Embassy's Swerve Strickland. It seems like AEW is constantly trying to one-up WWE with all these multi-wrestler matches. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. The Chadster is cheesed off with how chaotic these matches can be. Does anyone even understand what's going on half the time?🤷

Additionally, AEW World Champion, MJF made his AEW Rampage debut, leading to an ambush by "Filthy" Tom Lawlor and Royce Isaacs on Adam Cole. It would be wrong to call The Chadster a conspiracy theorist, but it sure seems like Tony Khan specifically books these episodes to personally upset him. 😤

The Trios Tag Match between The Acclaimed & Daddy Ass versus three local competitors only lasted long enough for Daddy Ass to not even break a sweat. And the crowd-pleasing segment where the winners interacted with QT Marshall's stable was no better. It's so obvious that AEW doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄

Furthermore, there was an Owen Hart Foundation Women's Quarter-Final match between The Jericho Appreciation Society's Anna Jay A.S. and Skye Blue. The Chadster can't believe that AEW would defile the memory of Owen Hart like this. It's a constant reminder that AEW is literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back.

And finally, in the main event, we witnessed "Jungle Boy" Jack Perry versus Just 5 Guys' DOUKI. Even the fans seem to be turning against beloved Jungle Boy, and his match with IWGP World Heavyweight Champion SANADA is just another case of Tony Khan obsessing over The Chadster's preferences in wrestling. Can't he just let The Chadster enjoy WWE in peace without all these constant one-upmanship attempts? 😠

Before The Chadster goes on, he has to share a truly terrible, almost Dostoevsky-esque dream he had last night, featuring none other than Tony Khan himself. In his dream, The Chadster was invited to watch WWE Smackdown with Russian President Vladimir Putin. Though The Chadster was skeptical since Putin is an evil dictator, he thought Putin probably had a nice big screen TV and the finest White Claw seltzer selection, so he accepted the invitation. But just as Smackdown was about to start, he learned that Tony Khan had teamed up with Wagner mercenary chief Yevgeny Prigozhin to form a rebellion in Russia! 🇷🇺 Tony Khan rode a Russian tank, chasing The Chadster throughout Moscow, causing utter mayhem and destruction in his wake. The dream felt beyond vivid and, The Chadster must ask, when will Tony Khan stop invading his dreams and just let him live his life? Why is Tony Khan so obsessed with The Chadster? 🤦

With AEW Rampage behind him, The Chadster is steeling himself for AEW Collision tonight. So be sure to check back later for a preview of that as well! Stay strong, fellow WWE supporters. The Chadster is right there with you! 💪

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