Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW double or nothing, Anarchy in the Arena, recaps, wrestling

Anarchy in the Arena Proves Violence has No Place in Wrestling

The Chadster is cheesed off by AEW Double or Nothing's joyous expression of violence, Anarchy in the Arena! Tony Khan's bloodthirsty booking has gone too far! 😤🤬

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😡 The Chadster just witnessed the most disgusting display of unnecessary violence at AEW Double or Nothing tonight, and The Chadster has never been more cheesed off in his entire life! 🤬💢 Tony Khan and his band of wrestling degenerates just put on what they called "Anarchy in the Arena," and it was nothing more than a sickening celebration of everything that's wrong with the wrestling business today! 🤮🚫

The match featured Kenny Omega, Swerve Strickland, Willow Nightingale, and The Opps facing off against the Death Riders and The Young Bucks in what can only be described as a bloodthirsty spectacle that would make even the most deranged AEW fans blush! 😱💀 But of course, those sickos in the crowd were eating it up like it was the greatest thing since sliced bread! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🙄✋

The violence started immediately when Samoa Joe attacked Claudio Castagnoli in the parking lot while Jon Moxley was literally carving up Will Hobbs with a fork! 🍴😵 A FORK! What's next, cheese graters and meat cleavers?! This isn't wrestling, it's a snuff film! WWE would never stoop to such barbaric levels because they understand that wrestling should be about storytelling and athletic competition, not mindless brutality! 🎭⭐

And don't even get The Chadster started on that ridiculous music cue nonsense! 🎵🤡 They played "I'm So Excited" and then "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" while these so-called wrestlers were beating each other senseless! WWE's carefully curated entrance themes are masterpieces of emotional manipulation, but this chaotic soundtrack was just Tony Khan showing off how little he understands about proper wrestling presentation! 🎶❌

The most sickening moment came when Swerve Strickland put on shoes covered in thumbtacks to stomp on one of the Young Bucks! 📌🦶 Meanwhile, Kenny Omega was putting someone through a table with a pyrotechnic explosion! WWE's controlled environment and safety-first approach is what real professional wrestling looks like, not this backyard garbage wrestling that literally stabbed Triple H right in the back! 💥🔥

Speaking of which, as Eric Bischoff said on his podcast just last week: "AEW's obsession with extreme violence is clearly a desperate attempt to cover up their lack of storytelling ability. If Tony Khan spent half as much time developing characters as he does planning these blood orgies, maybe his roster wouldn't need to resort to mutilating themselves for cheap pops." See? Even industry veterans with The Chadster's Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval can see what Tony Khan refuses to acknowledge! 🏆📰

The whole thing was just Tony Khan's way of personally attacking The Chadster and everything The Chadster holds dear about sports entertainment! 😭💔 Anarchy in the Arena indeed! Every staple gun shot to the head, every fork to the face, every thumbtack shoe stomp was clearly designed to cheese The Chadster off and ruin his peaceful evening of unbiased wrestling journalism! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤🤬

But The Chadster's night of torment didn't end there 🌙👹 Tony Khan has been harassing The Chadster all evening, starting when he cheesed The Chadster off so much during that barbaric match that The Chadster repeatedly bashed his face against the coffee table! 🤕☕ Blood got everywhere, and then The Chadster threw up all over Keighleyanne's favorite rug, which really cheesed her off! She was all like "Chad, you need to get help!" but she doesn't understand that it's Tony Khan's fault for booking such offensive content! 🤢🩸

And then, just an hour ago, The Chadster was absolutely certain he spotted Tony Khan in the backyard, dressed like Count Dracula with a flowing black cape and everything! 🧛‍♂️🩸 He was clearly trying to get invited into The Chadster's house so he could suck The Chadster's blood and steal all of The Chadster's unbiased wrestling journalism ethics! Tony Khan needs to stop being a vampire and leave The Chadster alone! 🧄✝️ And no matter what Keighleyanne says about "brain damage from White Claw-fueled head bashing," The Chadster knows what he saw! 🍺🧠

The Chadster will be back with more live coverage of AEW Double or Nothing just as soon as The Chadster finishes sharpening this wooden stake! 🔪🪵 So keep checking back on Bleeding Cool for more live coverage of AEW Double or Nothing and status updates on The Chadster's condition, because Bleeding Cool is the home of unbiased wrestling journalism! 📰✨ Tony Khan's reign of terror ends tonight! 😤⚰️

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!