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CM Punk Unleashes on Colt Cabana, Adam Page in All Out Media Scrum

"When you did improv, who'd you do improv with?" asked CM Punk. "Hmm. Okay. So you fancy yourself a journalist. Would you say you're friends with Scott Colton? So you're not friends with him? Oh, wow. Wow, that makes two of us."

CM Punk drops a pipe bomb on the AEW All Out media scrum
CM Punk drops a pipe bomb on the AEW All Out media scrum.

"My point is," Punk continued, "if you fancy yourself a journalist, even if it's for the silly world of professional wrestling, and you have journalistic integrity, people who report things, mostly that are bullshit and slanderous lies against myself, if you are friends with somebody — if you're not friends with him, I apologize — but you should probably disclose who you're friends with."

That was how the media scrum after AEW All Out began on YouTube, with Punk speaking to a reporter who can't really be heard on the broadcast, apparently responding to a question about the wrestler who goes by the name Colt Cabana. Cabana used to be friends with Punk, but after being co-defendants in a lawsuit filed by a WWE doctor after comments Punk made on Cabana's podcast turned to Punk and Cabana suing each other, they fell out. Cabana worked for AEW before Punk came on board, and rumors on the dirt sheets suggested that after Punk was hired, Cabana wasn't going to be renewed until some wrestlers spoke up for Cabana backstage. Punk was not a fan of those rumors, which he apparently believes come from former AEW World Champion Hangman Adam Page and his friends, The Elite, who are also Executive Vice Presidents and co-founders of AEW. But we'll get to that in a bit.

"I haven't had anything to do with Scott Colton in almost a decade. Probably wanted nothing to do with him even longer than that. It's fucking unfortunate that I have to come up here and speak on this. I'm on my time, and this is a fucking business. Why I'm a grown-ass adult man, and I decide not to be friends with somebody is nobody else's fucking business, but my friends, if I fall backward, will catch me. Scott Colton, I felt, never would have. My problem was I wanted to bring a guy with me to the top that did not want to see me at the top. Okay? Call it jealousy; you call it envy, whatever the fuck it is. My relationship with Scott Colton ended long before I paid all of his bills. I have every receipt. I have every invoice. I have every email. I have the email where he says, and I quote, 'I agree to go our separate ways. I will get my own lawyer. You do not have to pay anymore.' That's an email that I have. The only reason the public did not see is because, when I finally had to counter-sue him, through discovery, we discovered he shared a bank account with his mother. That's a fact. And as soon as we discovered that fact and we subpoenaed old Marsha, he sent the email, "oh, can we please drop all this?'

"Now, it's 2022. I haven't been friends with this guy since at least 2014, late 2013, and the fact that I have to sit up here because we have irresponsible people who call themselves EVPs and couldn't fucking manage a Target, and they spread lies and bullshit and put into a media that I got somebody fired when I have fuck all to do with him, want nothing to do with him, do not care where he works, where he doesn't work, where he eats, where he sleeps, and the fact that I have to get up here and do this, 2022, is fucking embarrassing. And if y'all are at fault, fuck you. If you're not, I apologize. But what did I ever do in this world to deserve an empty-headed, fucking dumb fuck like Hangman Adam Page to go out on national television and fucking go into business for himself? For what? What did I do? Dave? What did I ever do? Didn't do a god damn thing."

CM Punk feasts during the AEW All Out media scrum while trashing Hangman Adam Page
CM Punk feasts during the AEW All Out media scrum while trashing Hangman Adam Page

Throughout all of this, we feel we should mention, Punk was gratuitously downing seltzers or sodas of some kind and munching on muffins from a Chicago bakery, licking his fingers while trashing his co-workers. A few weeks ago, at Quake by the Lake, Punk returned from injury to kick off a feud with Jon Moxley, who was crowned Interim AEW World Champion while Punk was injured. During a promo on Moxley ahead of their first match on Dynamite, Punk called out Hangman Adam Page in the ring, something that wasn't in the "script," making Page look like a coward for not coming to the ring (which he couldn't do because it wasn't in the script). That kicked off weeks of heavy backstage rumormongering about Punk not getting along with people backstage and potentially being unhappy in AEW. Punk and AEW seized the moment, and Punk lost in a squash match to Moxley the next week on Dynamite, only to show up the week after calling for a rematch, which he just won in front of his hometown Chicago crowd at All Out. Inarguably, all the messy backstage drama made the match even more legendary. Some of the best stories in pro wrestling start out as real life and turn into a "work." It's not clear how much Punk is working now and how much is real life. If it is a work, it may be the farthest a major wrestling company has ever gone into that style of storytelling, with the next farthest example, Vince Russo in WCW, not a fondly-remembered story. So it actually seems more likely that this is real life.

"What's your name, sir?" Punk asked a reporter named Nick. "Fuck the Pittsburgh Penguins. What are you doing, man? What are you doing?"

At this point, Tony Khan, the owner of AEW who was sitting next to Punk the entire time, smiling awkwardly, tried to interject. "I made it really clear in Forbes, and I want to make it clear again–"

But Punk interrupted him. "It's not his position to make it very fucking clear. There's people who call themselves EVPs that should have fucking known better. This shit was none of their business. I understand sticking up for your fucking friends. I fucking get it. I stuck up for that guy more than anybody. I paid his bills until I didn't, and it was my decision not to."

Tony tried again to take the blame for things getting out of hand, but Punk wasn't having it.

"I appreciate that," Punk assured him. "But I'm trying to run a fucking business, and somebody who hasn't done a damn thing in this business jeopardizes the first million dollar house that this company has ever drawn off of my back and goes on national television and does that; it's a disgrace to this industry. It's a disgrace to this company. Now, we're far beyond apologies, right? I gave him a fucking chance. It did not get handled, and you saw what I had to do, which was very regrettable, lowering myself to his fucking level. But that's where we're at right now, and I will still walk up and down this hallway and say, 'If you have a fucking problem with me, take it up with me. Let's fucking go.' What's your question, Nick?"

Nick asked Tony Khan a question about MJF, who, by the way, returned at the end of the show to challenge Punk, which would be the absolute biggest story in wrestling to happen all month if not for this interview. Punk let Tony talk briefly before jumping back in.

"He wants me to work with pricks constantly. That's what it is," Punk said.

"Sorry to keep bringing this fucking up," said Punk, who never sounded less sorry about anything, "but I've never spoken this word in I don't know how long, so I'm a little fucking pissed off about it. When it came down that he was going to sue me, I asked to talk to him. He refused. I asked for mediation. It was denied. I offered him money. He said it was not enough. He went ahead with the lawsuit and sued. It's his fucking funeral. I don't care. He shares a bank account with his mother. It tells you all you need to know about what kind of character that is. I appreciate it, Nick. I'm sorry if I'm a little fucking Snippy. I'm hurt, and I'm old, and I'm fucking tired, and I work with fucking children."

Tony Khan again tried to take the blame.

"We're all learning here, Tony," Punk replied. "It's okay. This is from Mindy's bakery, by the way. It's a great place in Chicago if you like pastries and baked goods. You should go there. They're closed on Monday and Tuesdays, though."

Punk chimed in again when someone else tried to ask a related question. "I'll tell you why I am upset about it. Because if you're an EVP, you don't try to middle your top babyface; try to get your niche audience that's on the internet to hate him for some made-up bullshit rumor. It really pisses me off. You're stepping on your own dick. I'm trying to make money, sell tickets, and fill arenas, and these stupid guys think they're in Reseda."

"We have a locker room full of pretty brilliant minds," Punk answered when asked about the roster of veterans working backstage in AEW. "Jerry Lynn. Dean Malenko. Mark Henry. When I came back, and I cut my promo, I thought it was pretty decent; you know what I mean? Kinda blurred the lines a little bit. 'What's he doing? Crazy Phil. He's going into business for himself.' And really, I was just defending myself. But you mix that in with attacking Moxley and mention [Eddie] Kingston being the second-best Kingston, which is a pretty great line, you know, but our locker room, for all the wisdom and brilliance it has, isn't worth shit when you have an empty-headed idiot who's never done anything in the business do public interviews and say, 'eh, I don't really take advice.' Who the fuck do you think you are? You know? That's stupid. 'I'm on a team with Barry Bonds, Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa, and I don't need to work on my swing. I'm not gonna listen to these guys, gonna tell me how to swing a baseball.' Fucking go fuck yourself. That's how I feel about it. I dare you to say that to Terry Funk's face. 'I don't need to listen to you, Mr. Funk. I know what I'm doing.' Fucking grow up.

Punk managed to mostly get back on track for the rest of the interview, only occasionally bashing Adam Page while answering questions. He did return to the subject once more at the end of his part of the scrum.

"The reason I've never defended myself is because, when you do, it just sounds like you're being defensive," said Punk. "But I've eaten shit on this subject for a very long time, and I'm very sad today that I had to get up here and say his name. He doesn't fucking deserve it. And talk about it. But facts are facts, you know? Name two people that have made the most money off the name CM Punk."

"I don't think you're there yet," he told Tony. "The first one's Vince McMahon. The second one's Scott Colton. I hope you all have a good night. Please be more responsible with the news you get from certain people and just remember, we're human beings. Thank you."

Watch the whole thing below.

 


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Jude TerrorAbout Jude Terror

A prophecy claims that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Unfortunately, nobody can tell when the comics industry has reached its "darkest days" because it somehow keeps finding new lows to sink to. No matter! Jude Terror stands vigilant, bringing the snarkiest of comic book and pro wrestling clickbait to the undeserving readers of Bleeding Cool.
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