For the past four years, WWE wrestler and Hollywood megastar Dave Bautista has been involved in a long-running, vicious feud with fellow WWE Hall-of-Famer President Donald Trump. And I have been documenting it all, under the direct orders of Bleeding Cool Editor-in-Chief Kaitlyn Booth, who is obsessed with Dave Bautista tweet articles and demands I produce at least five per week. But in less than a month, the American people will vote, and the fate of the country will be decided for the next four years.
If Trump wins, while the future for America will be uncertain, the future of Dave Bautista and I will be clear. Dave Bautista will continue to tweet nonstop, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week about Donald Trump. And I will continue to turn his tweets into clickbait articles lest Kaitlyn Booth breaks my knees with a sledgehammer. Simple. [Editor's Note: Been working on my swing.]
But if Trump loses, then that changes everything, doesn't it? Dave Bautista will have to find something else to do with his time. And that means so will I? I don't know what I'll do instead of writing Dave Bautista tweet articles, but I can come up with a few suggestions for Big Dave.
Continue tweeting about Donald Trump anyway.
Just because Donald Trump isn't the president anymore doesn't mean Dave Bautista can't tweet about him. After all, it's not like he's going to just go away even if he loses. For one thing, he'll still be the president until January, and there are all sorts of havoc he can cause until then, and Dave Bautista will surely want to tweet about that. And even afterward, he'll still be around tweeting and probably showing up on Fox News all the time. Maybe he'll start work right away on a 2024 campaign. All of that is stuff that Dave Bautista can tweet about. It'll just take a little adjusting.
Tweet about other stuff.
And if continuing to tweet about Donald Trump doesn't work, Dave Bautista can always find, like, new things to tweet about. Sure, it'll be hard at first, but I believe he can get into a new groove. For instance, maybe he can tweet about European politics. There's gotta be some crazy stuff going on over there. Maybe Dave can turn his Twitter into a Boris Johnson tweet account or something. I'm sure he can make it work.
Have another pro-wrestling run.
Sure, Dave Bautista retired from wrestling in 2019 after wrestling Triple H at WrestleMania, but he had a lot to do at that time. Not only was his movie career in the process of exploding, but the 2020 election was on the horizon, and Bautista knew he had to dedicate all of his free time to tweeting about Donald Trump. But now that the end is in sight, maybe Bautista feels differently about the whole thing. He could have another run in WWE or even give AEW a try.
Become a cable news pundit.
Ok, sure, a return to pro wrestling probably isn't very likely. But there's another way Dave Bautista could put his years of experience tweeting about Donald Trump to good use: he could become one of those cable news pundits! Cable news punditry is basically the same thing as tweeting, except you do it on television, and you actually get paid. Dave Bautista would make a perfect pundit for CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News. And that could transition nicely to the final suggestion of this clickbait article…
Run for president himself.
Here's the plan: Dave Bautista beings campaigning for a 2024 run for president. He wins the presidency. And then, as things come full circle, an 82-year-old Donald Trump spends all his time tweeting about Dave Bautista. And Bleeding Cool starts writing a nonstop deluge of clickbait articles about that. And all is right with the world again.