Posted in: Impact Wrestling, Sports, TV | Tagged: genesis, impact, recaps, wrestling
Impact Genesis Results: Daivari vs. Cousin Jake
Hello and welcome to Bleeding Cool's live coverage of Impact Wrestling's Genesis special. I'm Jude Terror, and I'm sorry you had to suffer through the last match as covered by that loser Chad McMahon. I'm not even sure why Bleeding Cool hired that guy, who sucks even by our standards. But I guess having him employed here is probably better than whatever he'd be up to if left to his own devices, so I live with it.
It's a little known fact that Bleeding Cool is secretly run by a cabal of thousand-year-old vampires who sustain their unholy bodies not by drinking human blood but by gorging on millions of clicks which must be forever extracted from the lifeblood of the internet, but they're not above sucking a little blood if someone gets out of line so I am obliged to provide this paragraph of keyword-rich SEO-optimized text about Impact Genesis to aid in their endeavors:
Impact Wrestling's first Impact Plus special of 2021, Genesis, emanates from Skyway Studios in Nashville, TN on Saturday, January 9th. With the Hard to Kill PPV only a week away, Genesis is focused primarily on the return of the Super X Cup tournament, which will take place entirely during the show. The tournament's brackets pit Ace Austin against Suicide, Daivari vs. Cousin Jake, Crazzy Steve vs. Trey Lamar, and KC Navarro vs. Blake Christian in the opening round, while the semi-finals and final will take place later in the night. In addition, Genesis features an I Quit match between Moose and Willie Mack that will, hopefully, settle the pair's differences once and for all. Finally, in the last advertised match of the show, Jazz delays her retirement one more time for a one-on-one match with Jordynne Grace. Of course, it would be surprising if there weren't at least a few developments in the matchups planned for Hard to Kill on tonight's show.
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Impact Genesis Results Part 3
I have to be honest. I don't know whose downfall I'm enjoying more in 2021: Donald Trump's, or The Deaners. Both made 2020 miserable, Trump by ruining the country and The Deaners by being annoying on television. And now both are getting their comeuppance, with Cousin Jake abandoned by Cody Deaner.
Daivari vs. Cousin Jake
For the third first-round match of the Super X Cup, Daivari and Cousin Jake go at it. Cousin Jake here is filling the traditional "not a traditional X-Division competitor" role. He also fills the "getting his ass kicked by Daivari" role for the first half of the match. However, it's Jake that walks out with the victory using his strength and size to his advantage, ensuring we'll need to suffer through another match of his later in the night.
Winner: Cousin Jake
After the match, Jake flees the building as fast as he can because FBI agents are around asking questions about the group that invaded the Capitol on Wednesday.
Bleeding Cool's live coverage of Impact Genesis continues, and it is my honor to hand off the coverage for the next match to a man I am proud to call not only a colleague but also a friend: El Presidente. Check back soon.