Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, AEWRevolution, recaps, wrestling

Jungle Boy Buries Christian Cage in The Final Burial at AEW Revolution

Jungle Boy finally got his revenge on Christian Cage by burying him alive at AEW Revolution, and The Chadster was personally offended by the whole thing.

In the second of eight matches at AEW Revolution, Jungle Boy Jack Perry completed his journey toward becoming a Jungle Man. Perry defeated his former mentor-turned-bully Christian Cage in The Final Burial, a Buried Alive style match, but not before returning the Conchairto he owed cage from betraying him months ago. The Chadster is your unbiased guide to the world of AEW Revolution tonight. Read on!

The story so far: when Christian Cage joined AEW, he became a mentor to the team of Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus. But Cage turned on Jungle Boy, and took him out of action with a Conchairto before promptly taking six months off to heal an injury. Finally, at AEW Revolution, Jungle Boy, who has now become a Jungle Man, gets his chance at revenge. But when will The Chadster have revenge for Christian Cage disrespecting the wrestling business by leaving WWE to continue his career in the ring when Vince McMahon clearly decided that Christian shouldn't be allowed to wrestle any more. Not only that, but now Jungle Man has blatantly stolen The Undertaker's signature match — well, the other one that Darby Allin hasn't stolen — making this a buried alive match. If anything is to get buried, The Chadster wishes it would be AEW and the idea of ever competing with WWE again, but The Chadster feels it's more likely that Jungle Man will get the win and that The Chadster's wife will inexplicably pay extra close attention to the TV during this match, which will only further cheese The Chadster off.

That's what The Chadster said about this match during his AEW Revolution preview earlier tonight, and The Chadster has been ruminating on it all day. Even still, The Chadster wasn't prepared when he saw the dirt at the top of the entrance ramp surrounding a coffin set to mechanically lower into a grave once one wrestler put his opponent in it, locked it, and started the process. This gave The Chadster memories of WWE PPVs where The Undertaker or Kane competed in this type of match, and then The Chadster realized he was having nostalgic feelings about an AEW PPV, which means Tony Khan tricked  The Chadster into having positive feelings about AEW, and The Chadster will never forgive him for that.

Jungle Boy was fueled by righteous anger toward Christian in this match, but Cage was fueled by sadism, This led to a violent brawl, taking place mostly outside the ring, reminiscent of the 90s era where the buried alive match style was popular. As the match neared its end, Cage tried to give Jungle Boy a Conchairto, but Jungle Boy avoided it and went after Cage with a shovel. He made age pass out with a Snare Trap using the shovel and then finally hit the revenge Conchairto he's been owed for months, dragged Cage into the coffin, gave Christian a is, closed the lid, and sent it into the hole.

That's when The Chadster realized what Tony Khan was playing at with this match: Tony Khan know that thanks to AEW making The Chadster sexually impotent, he will never send anything into the hole again. Tony Khan, you are a horrible person.

Bleeding Cool's AEW Revolution Coverage

The Chadster has been tasked with bringing the readers of Bleeding Cool live results and analysis from AEW Revolution, which is just so unfair because everybody knows that The Chadster is a victim of a long-term bullying campaign by AEW, which targets The Chadster personally by providing an alternative to WWE. The Chadster's bosses, who are in league with Tony Khan and enjoy watching The Chadster suffer, have teamed up with him to make The Chadster's life even more miserable. But The Chadster, who is known for his commitment to unbiased wrestling journalism, will not be intimidated. The Chadster will provide completely objective coverage of the worst PPV to ever take place, and you can follow along right here.

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