Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, kota ibushi, wrestling

Kota Ibushi Reportedly Suffers Leg Injury at AEW Collision Taping

El Presidente reports on Kota Ibushi's rumored broken femur injury at AEW Collision taping in Jacksonville. Wishing the Golden Star a speedy recovery, comrades!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my private medical wing where I am personally overseeing the quality of surgical equipment (one can never be too careful after that incident with Fidel's gallbladder), and I bring you news most unfortunate from the world of professional wrestling.

Last night at Daily's Place in Jacksonville, Florida, the magnificent Kota Ibushi apparently suffered what is being reported as a broken femur during a AEW Collision television taping. This information comes to us from the esteemed Comrade Mike Johnson of PWInsider, a man I trust implicitly ever since we shared a box of the finest Cuban cigars with Augusto Pinochet, Nicolae Ceaușescu, and the legendary "Macho Man" Randy Savage at a secret underground wrestling club in Monaco back in 1987. Ah, what a night that was! Randy kept dropping elbows on the caviar table while Ceaușescu tried to convince us all that his Securitate could take down André the Giant. Good times, comrades, good times.

But I digress. The situation with Comrade Ibushi is no laughing matter, and El Presidente's heart is heavy with concern for this brilliant performer.

According to the reports filtering through the wrestling community, Ibushi was engaged in what witnesses described as a competitive and entertaining match with Josh Alexander when tragedy struck. A fan who was sitting in the second row witnessed the unfortunate incident firsthand and shared their account with PWInsider. From what I understand, both men were battling atop the turnbuckle when Alexander hoisted Ibushi into a Fireman's Carry position. In a moment that can only be described as a freak accident – and comrades, I know something about freak accidents, having once tumbled from a balcony while fleeing CIA agents in Monte Carlo and landed directly on Kim Jong-il who was enjoying a cigarette below – both competitors lost their balance and fell to the arena floor.

The fall was particularly cruel to Ibushi, who went forward first in an uncontrolled descent, landing most awkwardly on the unforgiving floor outside the ring. Alexander, meanwhile, fell backward over the ropes, struck the apron, and landed on the floor as well, though his landing appeared far more painful than his opponent's. The eyewitness account stressed that this was clearly no one's fault – simply a terrible accident that befalls even the most skilled practitioners of our beloved sport.

Following the fall, Ibushi was seen leaning against the barricade on his knees, clutching his upper right leg – a sight that would make even the hardest of dictators weep, comrades. The referee quickly assessed the situation and counted out Ibushi, awarding the victory to Alexander. Medical personnel rushed to attend to the injured Golden Star, and the word making the rounds backstage at AEW is that he has indeed suffered a broken femur. Ibushi was stretchered out of the arena.

Now, comrades, El Presidente knows something about broken femurs. I suffered a similar injury myself during a heated tussle with CIA operatives at Idi Amin's birthday luau in Uganda in 1975. I was attempting to escape via helicopter when one of their agents grabbed my leg, and I was forced to kick free while dangling from the landing skid. My femur snapped like a twig, and I spent the next three months in a cast while Amin entertained me with accordion music and stories of his boxing days. The pain was excruciating, comrades, and my heart goes out to Ibushi during this difficult time.

A broken femur is no joke – it is one of the strongest bones in the human body, and when it breaks, the recovery is long and arduous. This is the kind of injury that can sideline even the mightiest of warriors for many months. As someone who has experienced this pain, El Presidente wishes to send his deepest sympathies and best wishes to Kota Ibushi for a complete and speedy recovery.

What makes this even more heartbreaking is that Ibushi is one of the most talented and innovative performers in all of professional wrestling. The Golden Star has dazzled audiences around the world with his incredible athleticism, his fearless high-flying style, and his ability to tell stories in the ring that transcend language and culture. He is a true artist of our craft, comrades, and the wrestling world is diminished by his absence.

Don Callis, ever the opportunist, apparently began cutting a promo following the injury, which led to Kenny Omega charging to the ring with a trash can to clear out Alexander and Mark Davis. Ah, Omega! A man after El Presidente's own heart – always ready to defend his comrades with extreme prejudice. This reminds me of the time when Muammar Gaddafi burst into a G7 meeting I was crashing to defend my honor after the French delegation insulted my military medals. Beautiful chaos, comrades!

But let us return our focus to what matters most: Comrade Ibushi's health and recovery. In times like these, we must put aside the storylines, the championships, and the ratings wars. A human being has been injured, and that takes precedence over everything else in the world of sports entertainment. This is something even The American CIA could understand, though they would probably try to turn it into some sort of propaganda opportunity. Those capitalist vultures!

The wrestling community must now rally around Kota Ibushi and support him through his recovery. This is what separates us from the cold-hearted corporate machines that try to exploit our beloved sport for profit. We are a family, comrades – a global family united by our love of professional wrestling. And when one member of our family suffers, we all feel the pain. And under my socialized healthcare system, we all pay the bill as well. Though I suspect that capitalist pig Tony Khan will pick up the tab for this one.

El Presidente has seen many injuries in his decades of watching professional wrestling, from the most minor of bumps and bruises to career-ending catastrophes. Each one is a reminder of the incredible sacrifices these performers make for our entertainment. They put their bodies on the line every single night, risking injury and worse, all so we can experience the drama, the excitement, and the pure joy that professional wrestling provides.

This is why we must always show respect and gratitude to these warriors, comrades. They are not just entertainers – they are athletes of the highest caliber, performing death-defying acts without the safety nets of other sports. When a football player gets injured, they have pads and helmets. When a wrestler gets injured, they have nothing but their training, their instincts, and the trust they place in their opponents. It is socialism of the squared circle, comrades – each performer relying on their fellow workers to keep them safe while they create art together!

From my presidential palace to wherever Ibushi is receiving treatment, El Presidente sends healing energy, positive thoughts, and a promise that we will all be waiting with great anticipation for his return to action. Take all the time you need, Comrade Ibushi. Your health and well-being are more important than any match, any title, or any angle. The ring will still be there when you are ready to return, and your fans will be waiting with open arms.

Until next time, comrades, this is El Presidente reminding you to cherish the performers who risk everything for your entertainment, to support them in their times of need, and to never trust The American CIA when they offer you "medical assistance." I learned that lesson the hard way in Havana! ¡Viva la lucha libre! ¡Viva Kota Ibushi! ¡Viva la revolución!

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