Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: nick khan, wrestling

Report: WWE Under Nick Khan Buys AEW Fast Nationals to Leak to Press

Comrades, El Presidente has learned of WWE's nefarious plot to undermine AEW by leaking fast national ratings! Click for the deets on this dastardly scheme!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from a secret underground bunker deep beneath Titan Towers, where I have been spying on the nefarious activities of WWE CEO Nick Khan. Comrades, if there is one thing I have learned from my various battles with the American CIA, it's that a capitalist corporation is never too big to engage in underhanded tactics to suppress its competition and maintain a monopoly on the means of sports entertainment production. This is exactly what Khan and WWE are allegedly doing, according to a report from our great comrade Dave Meltzer in the latest issue of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter.

Meltzer reports that WWE has been paying thousands of dollars per episode to obtain the "fast nationals" ratings data for episodes of AEW Dynamite, which airs on TBS on Wednesday nights. Fast nationals are rough viewership calculations made the day after a show airs, and they are often inaccurate compared to the final ratings numbers. However, when the fast nationals show AEW Dynamite's viewership to be low, the report implies, WWE leaks this misleading data to dirt sheets and reporters in an attempt to control the narrative about AEW Dynamite's success, or lack thereof, before the final ratings come out.

Comrades, your El Presidente knows a thing or two about controlling narratives. Why, just the other day, Raul Castro and I were comparing notes on our favorite methods of suppressing dissent (mine is making my enemies watch Raw, his is far more humane). But even I would not stoop so low as to obtain preliminary data under false pretenses and leak it solely to make my competition look bad. This is a very CIA tactic, and trust me, I know. How many times has the CIA tried to make El Presidente look bad by leaking photos of my American mistresses or my collection of rare Funko Pops paid for with tax dollars earmarked for social programs? More times than I can count, comrades.

The irony here is that WWE simultaneously acts as if they are too big to be threatened by AEW Dynamite, while at the same time engaging in tactics designed to undermine AEW Dynamite at every turn. One day they say they are not competing with AEW Dynamite, the next day they are leaking numbers to try to make AEW Dynamite look bad. It's the same hypocrisy we see from the American government every day, comrades.

Sean Ross Sapp has corroborated Meltzer's report on social media site X, responding to multiple WWE astroturf or stan accounts calling Meltzer a liar, even noting he was a reporter who WWE directly tried to feed the numbers to. El Presidente salutes comrade Sapp for his integrity in reporting and for not falling for WWE's tricks, even if his capitalist subscription service goes against my own socialist ideals.

Ever since Vince McMahon departed WWE in scandal, many WWE fans want to believe that the company has turned babyface. But if these reports are true, and El Presidente sees no reason to doubt them, WWE is still the same heel it has always been, using dirty tricks to maintain its stranglehold on the wrestling business, just as it has since Vince was running the territory system out of business. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss, as The Who once said before they, too, sold out to become capitalist swine.

In conclusion, comrades, we must never underestimate the lengths to which a capitalist corporation will go to bury its rivals. This is why El Presidente always supports AEW Dynamite and Tony Khan, who would surely be a great socialist hero of the people if not for the unfortunate fact of his birth as a billionaire capitalist pig. But in the battle between two billionaires, we must choose the lesser of two evils, and that is why Dynamite will always have a home on El Presidente's 95-inch LED TV from 8 to 10 PM every Wednesday night. Until next time, comrades: socialism or death!

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