Posted in: TV | Tagged: all stars, drag race, rupaul

RuPaul's Drag Race: Our "Old Friends Are Gold" All-Star Dream Lineup

RuPaul's Drag Race is great, but "All Stars" could do with a few mature improvements, like this dream all-star cast for "Old Friends Gold."

RuPaul's Drag Race prides itself on showing many styles of drag (or really the same five tropes of drag), and All Stars has always given a chance to queens who weren't recognized the first time around. With themes for All Stars, like the "Oops all winners" season 7, I present my dream season of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars: "Old Friends Gold," celebrating the seasoned queens with long and storied drag careers. The oldest contestant of the current season of Drag Race is 33, with ages (and experience) having historically skewed younger each season. With the regular season and even past "All Stars" challenges being about things like dance and athleticism, I'd like to see something that proves Drag Race isn't just a young queen's game, with challenges that highlight what's given them staying power for a 20+ year career.

Without further ado, my "dream dozen" cast of All Stars: Old Friends Gold (in alphabetical order) is:

Acid Betty – It's been speculated she's on the cast for "All Stars" 10, though do take that with a hefty grain of salt. She's been around before and after her all-too-brief stint on season 8. Acid Betty deserves to come back with a kinder edit (despite her persona being hell-on-wheels serving New York attitude), especially seeing that her punk drag aesthetic is absolutely historic.

Charlie Hides – As the oldest Ru girl to date, I think it's high time we see Charlie Hides come out of hiding and compete on "All Stars," I know there's more they have to show the world, and Ru-demption is always the name of the game on "All Stars." She's been all over the internet, yes, but as "Drag Race" season 15 proved, there's more to internet queens than meets the spice drawer.

Chad Michaels – It's Cher, bitch! Yes, yes, yes, I am highly aware Mama Chad won the very first season of "All Stars," but that was a looooooong time ago, and the format has not only changed but changed and changed again. In fact, it's practically a whole different franchise altogether, with queens cooking for their lives now. All jokes aside, I'd love to see Chad back in any capacity, even if it is as a lip sync assassin (to Cher, obvi).

Coco Montrese – Pageant titles aside, Miss Montrese has a lot to bring to the table, especially since first appearing on season 5 and even the follow-up on "All Stars" 2. It's been a while since we've seen her on "Drag Race," and she's grown as a performer a lot since then (I mean, who wouldn't in nine years?). And no, I'm not joking, bitch!

Darienne Lake – Again, we did just see her, and she did get some epic Ru-demption on "All Stars" 8, but her style of drag and point of view is always a cool, refreshing take. She serves classic comedy and camp and has updated looks and style to appeal to modern tastes as well as not pigeonhole herself into the "funny queen" box. I want more of that lake!

Latrice Royale—It's been too long since we've seen her on "Drag Race," and yes, I know she's doing her live show thing along with a million other things, but her energy is legendary and gives the children life. Along with the looks, representation, and absolute icon status, she brings a classic elegance pageant-style drag to the competition while still keeping her poise and personality.

Mrs. Kasha Davis – Naturally, we couldn't have a season of "seasoned queens" without mentioning Mrs. Kasha Davis – I mean the respect and maturity are baked into her name. She's matronly in the best way and ages like Parmesan – only getting more expensive and better with age. She's campy and comedy and proves that it's how you dust yourself off and bounce back that really counts.

Nina West—As the youngest queen in this competition, that doesn't mean you should count out Miss West. While we just saw her on "All Stars" season 9, her looks are iconic and creative while still delivering. Honestly, I just want to see more of her, especially now that she's hit her stride in the "Drag Race" game.

Pandora Boxx – It has been a hot minute since we opened the boxx and unleashed Pandora – "All Stars" 6 wasn't that long ago, but it feels like she has a lot more to show the world, and frankly, her style is unique and celebrates the "DIY realism" drag of the early 2000s. Queens adapt and not just survive but thrive, and Pandora is a great example of this, even just looking at her stints on "Drag Race."

Tamisha Iman – Best believe she's still coming for you. Tamisha Iman is legendary not only in the South but several facets of the queer community. She's a pageant queen, but she's so much more and represents a long legacy of drag excellence. There's no way the Black queer South could go unrepresented in this season, especially not in such a glamorous way.

Tempest DuJour -"You don't stop dreaming at a certain age!" If that isn't the most perfect quote to argue my case for Tempest, I have no idea what is. She's campy and silly and has far more to show on "Drag Race" than the tiny bit of her we got on season 7.

Vivacious – Classic club kid serving New York City ballroom realness, everything about her SCREAMS classic drag. While she didn't go far on season 6, Vivacious (and Ornacia) have become iconic to "Drag Race" and I believe there's a lot more to see from her, especially through the lens of celebrating drag history.

The challenges for All Stars: Old Friends Gold season would be amiss if they didn't include things that not only celebrate the roots of drag, but straight up require it. For example, RuPaul's Drag Race is absolutely no stranger to using ball culture as inspiration for the show format, challenges, and runways, but what I would like to see is a full-blown classic 1980s Harlem Ball. Queens could be their own commentators, or better yet, draw names for other queens they have to emcee for, spitting bars and performing a track for them that's iconic and praises who they are, and their queerness as the queens vogue the runway down.

The lip sync songs should all be iconic gay anthems and classics—if they didn't have it on cassette tape growing up, I don't want to hear it this season. I'd love for the makeover challenge to be some kind of a drag grandma challenge, but not in a season 2 way, maybe in a "drag sisters" kind of way.

Runways should be classic themed, but this time, real 1980s as the queens remember, not any of these neon legwarmer party store Halloween costume looks put on by 21-year-olds who were born in 2002. There should be a "first drag look, upgraded" runway where the queens are challenged to take their first or a very early drag look from their career and refresh it. All Stars: Old Friends Gold should feel like a showcase or masterclass on the origins and legacy of drag, not a bitchy, whiny cut-throat competition between a dozen queens all desperate to get their name out there and keep cashing paychecks.

With RuPaul's Drag Race having done a lot of things over the years, I want to see a celebration of history and culture (not just a nod to it) while sending the message that youth is not everything; it's just the beginning. Especially in the current climate where queer youth may not feel like they have a tomorrow or future at all, it's important to be reminded that no matter what happens, we will continue to exist, and nothing can take away who you are – you don't disappear after 30 or 40 – this is just the beginning.

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