Ryan Satin Denies Advocating Swinging Babies Around by Umbilical Cord

Ryan Satin did not advocate for Seth Rollins to swing his newborn child around in the air over his head by the umbilical cord, the Fox Sports correspondent said in a statement on Tuesday. Satin was caught in Twitter's news cycle after seemingly suggesting Rollins should do just the same day Rollins and Becky Lynch announced their first child's birth. But Ryan Satin didn't imagine little Roux swinging around up there, and he never meant to give that impression.

Paid WWE shill Ryan Satin
Innocent man Ryan Satin

"I was jokingly talking about the umbilical cord AFTER it is cut, not before, as a way of celebrating the birth of his child (just like all his major title wins)," said the beleaguered Satin, dealing with backlash from the proclaimed joke. "I would never joke about swinging a newborn like that."

Of course, never joking about it isn't the same thing as not seriously advocating it. We're not saying Ryan Satin does seriously advocate for swinging babies around by their umbilical cords, but we're just saying he didn't explicitly deny it.

"Most dads cut their child's umbilical cord at birth," he added.

AEW star Nyla Rose jumped to the beleaguered journalist's defense, tweeting, "People really lack reading COMPREHENSION these days…"

Satin responded, "I'm also really hoping it's mostly children who don't understand the child birth process."

"I've been so confused the past day," said Satin of the struggles of dealing with the controversy and ensuing social media circus. "I assume there was just nothing else for them to be angry about yet so they had to focus on something."

An extensive investigation into Ryan Satin that consisted of scrolling through several pages of his Twitter profile did not uncover any past incidences of baby swinging of any sort, nor advocacy of others doing so. Clearly, he never said that babies should all be swung around by their umbilical cords over a topless man's head so let's all just stop saying he did and stop making such a big deal out of it, okay?

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