Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: retribution, Smackdown, wrestling, wwe

Smackdown 8/7/2020 – These Protestors Are Non-Political, Dammit!

You might think, after witnessing not one but two Baron Corbin matches, and not one but two Sheamus matches, and seeing Alexa Bliss make sweet love to The Fiend in the middle of the ring, that that would be pretty much all the wrestling you could handle for one Friday night. But you'd be wrong. There's still a little bit more Smackdown to go, and it will feel like getting cracked in the head with a steel pipe.

WWE Smackdown 8/7/2020 Report Part 1

Kayla Braxton talks to Big E backstage. She asks him about his singles push. Big E says for the past five years he's been wacky and zany, and he still is. But now he gets to answer the question of what could have been if he'd had the chance to run with the ball along. Big E says this single's push could be pressure, but it actually inspires him. He gets Kayla to chant New Day rocks.

Sasha and Bayley are in the ring. Stephanie McMahon is on the Titantron via Zoom because she doesn't believe the coronavirus is a hoax like her dad. Stephanie congratulates them on their achievements. They wanted to win all the championships, and they did. Sasha and Bayley thank her for her positive feedback. Bayley says all they want to is be role models. Sasha says they want to be role models for Steph's daughter. They're just carrying on what Stephanie started with the Women's Evolution. You know, I thought I heard some people say Stephanie McMahon started that.

Stephanie talks about all the tricks Sasha and Bayley played over the past couple of months. Stephanie isn't sure they're role models, but they do have her attention. Bayley and Sasha kiss some ass. Stephanie says she's not one to hold a grudge. She's a McMahon. She does want to challenge them, though. Sasha will defend the Raw Women's Championship at SummerSlam. It could be against Asuka. As for Bayley, all her enemies will have a chance for revenge in a triple-brand battle royal next week, with the winner getting a shot at Bayley at SummerSlam. Steph says that's what's best for business. Bayley and Sasha disagree, but Steph shuts off her webcam.

Miz, Morrison, and Sonya Deville are hanging out backstage. Kayla wants to interview them. She asks if Miz and Morrison regret taking things too far now that they have a match with Heavy Machinery. Miz says it's not their fault if people can't appreciate Miz and Morrison's sense of humor. He says he and Morrison are physical marvels, and it won't take much to outsmart Otis. Kayla says Otis is very upset. Miz asks if he's gonna eat them. He says Heavy Machinery are big, tough, and ferocious — Morrison adds, "in catering" — but… well, there is no rebuttal. They just say they have to go get ready for their match. Smackdown goes to commercials. Miz and Morrison come out to the ring. They've got Sonya with them. Then Heavy Machinery comes out.

Miz and Morrison vs. Heavy Machinery

Tucker and Morrison start things off. Tucker gets an early advantage in mat wrestling with Morrison. More lights flickering during this match as Corey Graves gets in another shoehorned Retribution mention. Otis tags in and manhandles Morrison. Morrison flips over Otis and tags in Miz. Miz kicks Otis in the gut, but Otis no-sells it. Miz chops him, and Otis rips his own shirt off and gyrates. He tags in Tucker, and they sandwich Miz. Miz rolls outside, and Tucker hits a cannonball on him and Morrison as Smackdown goes to commercials.

Miz is in control of Tucker after the break. He tags in Morrison, who hits a springboard stomp on Tucker as Miz holds him. That gets a two-count. Tucker starts to strike back at Morrison. They trade blows, but Morrison takes out Tucker's knee and kicks him in the face. He tags in Miz, and they hit a double gutbuster. Miz hits a DDT and gets two. Miz mocks Otis a bit and stomps on Tucker. He chokes him on the ropes, and when the ref pushes Miz away, Morrison cheap shots him. Miz and Morrizon try to lead the crowd in a Hey Hey Ho Ho singalong, but they're not into it. That gives Tucker enough time to make the hot tag, though.

Otis steamrolls Miz and Morrison. He bodyslams Miz and t-bone suplexes, Morrison. He splashes Morrison in the corner, and Morrison falls in a perfect position for the caterpillar. Otis hits it, but Miz breaks up the pin. Tucker charges Miz outside, but Miz dodges, and Tucker hits the plexiglass. Otis tries, but Miz dodges, and he hits the stairs. Mandy Rose comes out of nowhere, sporting a new short haircut and attacks Sonya. Mandy has a new look, jeans and a white t-shirt. Mandy is all over Sonya. The guys have trouble breaking up the brawl but eventually succeed. Smackdown goes to commercials.

No Contest?

Earlier (back in part one), I talked about how Sonya Deville has evolved into a great heel, but Mandy Rose, with her new John Mellencamp inspired look, is having a little evolution of her own, into a 1980s white meat babyface. Good for her.

After the break, the pull-apart is still happening backstage, but the lights go out, and everyone stops. At ringside, Retribution have finally arrived. There are somewhere between six and a dozen of them; all dressed in black pants with black hoodies and black masks, no one more than five feet tall. They're wielding baseball bats and steel pipes. They take the ring; then they go after Michael Cole and Corey Graves. Oh! Get 'em! Get 'em! Dammit, they got away. Retribution, you had one god damn job.

Retribution chases off some camera people while shouting about how awesome it is to be an anarchist. Some of them run out to the crowd and beat up the remaining NXT trainees. They corner one woman and surround her. The female members of Retribution assault her. Retributuon may be a lawless group of hooligans hellbent on anarchy, but they aren't supporters of intergender wrestling.

Retribution heads back to the ring and starts hitting the ring with their bats and pipes, as anarchists do. They tip over the announce table. They get out some spray paint and start spraying graffiti on the plexiglass barriers. One of them spraypaints a WWE logo with a circle with a line through it. Haha. They spraypaint the ring aprons too. Retribution celebrates in the ring. For the grand finale, one of them gets out a chainsaw and cuts down the ring ropes. Smackdown goes off the air.

So this is that new faction that Ryan Satin wrote multiple articles claiming his sources told him was "non-political." Of course, Retribution is exactly what we all know Vince McMahon pictures when he thinks of the Black Lives Matter protestors. But if you keep saying it's "non-political" enough, and get dirt sheet guys that used to work for you to say it too, that will make it true eventually, right?

As for whether this will turn out to be an interesting storyline, I don't know. Sure, spraypainting the ring and waving a chainsaw around may make you look like some kind of badass, but what happens when Jeff Hardy comes out and towers over all these guys by afoot? Speaking of which, where the hell was the Smackdown roster during all of this? Did they all go home early? If nothing else, this should have people morbidly tuning into Raw on Monday to see what happens next.

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