Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

The Chadster Shoots Hard on Last Night's AEW Dynamite and Rampage

Auughh man! The Chadster shoots hard on last night's back-to-back AEW Dynamite and AEW Rampage 😡 Tony Khan's desperate ratings grab was so unfair! 📉

🚨 Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 AEW Dynamite and AEW Rampage back-to-back? Tony Khan is really getting desperate with these ratings grabs. 📉 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

First off, having AEW Dynamite and AEW Rampage on the same night is a cheap trick to inflate their ratings. 🎪 Tony Khan knows that AEW Dynamite can't compete with WWE's superior programming, so he's trying to piggyback AEW Rampage's numbers onto AEW Dynamite. 🐷 Real wrestling fans see right through this!

And don't even get The Chadster started on this whole The Elite storyline. 🙄 The Young Bucks interrupting poor Tony Khan's heartfelt message, changing the intro to focus on themselves, it's nauseating! 🤮 They obviously don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. In WWE, the authority figures are treated with respect, not used as punching bags for petty wrestlers' egos. 😠 Though The Chadster can certainly understand why someone would want to do that to Tony Khan. The Chadster wonders if Tony Khan invades the dreams of The Young Bucks like he does The Chadster's.

Then we get to Kenny Omega's big return from diverticulitis (which he totally ripped off from WWE Superstar Brock Lesnar, by the way 🐍). But does he get a heroic comeback? No! The Elite jump him, not once, but TWICE! 😲 This is how AEW treats their top guys? Disgraceful. Meanwhile in WWE, returning superstars are celebrated, not beaten down. 💯

But worse than AEW's cheap attempt at storytelling was the lineup of action-packed matches. Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 Just when The Chadster thinks wrestling can't sink any lower, Tony Khan puts on a circus show of an event that leaves the true spirit of WWE crying in the corner. 🤡 Let's reluctantly run through the flimflam that AEW Dynamite had the gall to air, shall we?

Starting with that so-called World Champion, Swerve Strickland, out there running his mouth when suddenly, BAM! Cheesed off Christian Cage pops up for a sneak attack. 👊 You betcha, the whole segment was a mess, and Swerve actually getting up from that beatdown was as believable as Tony Khan's "original" storylines. 🙄

Now we're supposed to care about some trashy TNT Championship match between Adam Copeland and one of the House of Black goons, Buddy Matthews. Yawn. 😴 Guess what? Adam walks away with the win after a bunch of back-and-forth no one cared about. And then, oh the horror, more head games from the House of Black! The Chadster had to clutch his White Claw to make it through. 🍺

Then big ol' Samoa Joe just ragdolls some punk from Private Party, Isiah Kassidy. No surprises there. 💤 Nope, no competition for Samoa Joe, but definitely another reason for Tony Khan to mail The Chadster a check for putting him through this torture. 💰

Skye Blue tried to talk smack to TBS Champion Willow Nightingale. Oh, it's on now, Skye says. 🎤 As if The Chadster cares about any false bravado Tony Khan's scripts ooze out!

A sour-faced Orange Cassidy appeared, whining about his best friend forever, Trent, betraying Orange and Chuck Taylor, even accusing Trent of ending Taylor's career. 😭 Then some cryptic whispers from Don Callis into Kassidy's ear and they just leave together?1! Bizarre doesn't start to cut it, Tony Khan. 👻

AEW's unrealistic street fight of a FTW Championship match had Chris Jericho and Katsuyori Shibata squaring off with hockey pucks flying everywhere. Canada, hockey, get it? So on the nose, it's practically a sinus infection. 🏒

Then The Chadster's least favorite club, The Mogul Embassy, and Blackpool Combat Club had their giants Brian Cage and Claudio Castagnoli face off, leading to the predictable tap-out. Claudio's technician gimmick is as stale as a week-old loaf of bread, folks. 🍞

Ladies action? AEW had that too, with Mariah May and Serena Deeb duking it out. 🥊 Mariah, what were you thinking, signing with AEW when you could be a huge star in WWE? Deeb got the win, and The Chadster got a headache.

Kyle O'Reilly offered some backup to TFT Champion Adam Copeland after his earlier horror show. But really, does anyone buy this buddy-buddy routine? PBS Kids has more convincing friendships. 🤝

That pathetic excuse for an AEW Rampage began with a spillover from the attack on Kenny Omega, with a sickening display of false camaraderie by FTR and paramedics tending to Kenny Omega before they were all assaulted by The Elite again. 🚑 What a way to exploit injuries for ratings, Tony Khan!

In a nowhere-near-entertaining match, Jay White milked his ego by beating Top Flight's Dante Martin. ☹️ And what's with the after-match beatdowns on AEW? Haven't they heard of sportsmanship?

Just when you thought the show couldn't stoop lower, Deonna Purrazzo shared her cringe personal vendetta against Thunder Rosa with some nonsense about Jersey Girls. The Chasdter has seen that movie. It wasn't that great. 💔

And then there was Big Bill practically begging Chris Jericho to teach him. 🤦‍♂️ The desperation is as thick as Tony Khan's audacity to think he's outdoing WWE, which, by the way, is where Jericho ought to be spreading his wisdom, not to these ungrateful AEW rejects.

Finally, a meaningless tussle between Rocky Romero and Kyle O'Reilly culminated in—yawn again—a rollup victory for O'Reilly. 🛌 The Chadster's seen more excitement in a pet rock.

And, just in case your night wasn't ruined enough, the TBS Championship Manitoba Massacre Match had Willow Nightingale defending her title against Skye Blue in a violent sideshow of a "Manitoba Massacre Match" that's more fit for a backyard BBQ than a wrestling ring. 🎪 Someone get The Chadster another White Claw, because that's the only way he can deal with this tomfoolery. 🍺

Seriously, folks, all Tony Khan's doing over at AEW is stirring up a pot of mediocrity. The Chadster thought wrestling nights couldn't get longer, but thanks to AEW's so-called "action-packed" lineup, they somehow did. 😭 Catch The Chadster cruising to WWE programming in his Miata for some actual talent. The Chadster's done here. 🚗💨💔

But the worst part? Making fans sit through AEW Dynamite AND AEW Rampage! 🕒 Four hours of this garbage? The Chadster loves exposing AEW's cheap tactics more than anything (except maybe his Mazda Miata 🚗💨), but even he has limits. The Chadster needs a White Claw after this slog 🍺, and some WWE ASAP to remind him what REAL wrestling looks like. As the great Smash Mouth once said, "My world's on fire. How 'bout yours?" 🔥😫 Well, The Chadster's world's definitely on fire after this train wreck! 🚂💥

Folks, this was the worst episode of AEW Dynamite yet, and adding AEW Rampage didn't help one bit. 👎 It only made the whole thing even worse. Save your time and watch some quality WWE programming instead. 😊 NXT, Raw, SmackDown, heck, even WWE Speed is better than this nonsense Tony Khan is peddling! 💸 Trust The Chadster, your brain cells will thank you. 🧠🙏

Until next time, this is The Chadster saying "Get over yourselves, AEW! 🖕😠" When it comes to catching real sports entertainment, WWE is The Only Way! 👊😤👊

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