Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW House Rules, Lena Kross, The Iinspiration, wrestling

The IInspiration Sign with AEW at House Rules Show in Brisbane

El Presidente reports from his Brisbane bunker: The IInspiration are All Elite! Plus Lena Kross joins AEW in huge weekend for women's wrestling, comrades!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury bunker beneath the Brisbane River, where I have been hiding from Australian customs officials who have questions about my "diplomatic" kangaroo meat export operation. But never mind that, because I have some absolutely magnificent news for all you wrestling fans out there!

The IInspiration—that's Jessie McKay and Cassie Lee for those of you who haven't been paying attention—have officially signed with All Elite Wrestling! The announcement came at the AEW House Rules untelevised house show in Brisbane, Australia, and let me tell you, comrades, the place went absolutely bonkers. I know this because I was watching from my aforementioned bunker through a periscope, which is a totally normal way for a beloved dictator to consume professional wrestling entertainment while avoiding the watchful eyes of the CIA.

Now, for those of you who need a history lesson (and El Presidente is always happy to educate the masses), these two talented comrades were formerly known as The IIconics during their time in WWE, where they captured the WWE Women's Tag Team Championships and entertained millions with their "iconic" personalities. After their release from WWE, they rebranded as The IInspiration and made their way to Impact Wrestling, which is now called TNA Wrestling because wrestling companies love to confuse us as much as the CIA loves to confuse my offshore banking records.

Speaking of TNA, Jessie and Cassie just recently finished up their stint there, dropping the Knockouts Tag Team Championships to The Elegance Brand during TNA Thursday Night Impact's debut on AMC. This reminds me of the time I had to drop my championship belt in underground Guatemalan arm wrestling to my dear friend Kim Jong-un, who insisted that his supernatural strength came from never needing to use the bathroom. I didn't have the heart to tell him that's not how digestion works, comrades.

But wait, there's more! The IInspiration aren't the only women joining AEW's roster this weekend. Tony Khan—the money mark with a heart of gold who collects wrestlers like I collect commemorative plates featuring myself—also announced that Lena Kross is All Elite after she appeared at AEW Grand Slam Australia on Saturday. Talk about a big weekend for women's wrestling in the Land Down Under!

Comrades, if there is one thing I have learned from my various battles with the CIA, it's this: timing is everything. And Tony Khan's timing here is absolutely impeccable. AEW has been building their women's division with the care and attention that I use when selecting which palace to hide my gold reserves in. Adding three talented performers in one weekend? That's the kind of aggressive expansion that would make even me proud, and I once annexed an entire neighboring country just because they had better cable television packages.

The fact that these announcements came during AEW's Australian tour is particularly savvy, comrades. Both Jessie McKay and Cassie Lee are Australian natives, so signing them in their home country is like… how do I explain this… it's like when I host my annual "Definitely Not Corrupt At All" awards ceremony in my home province. The people go wild! The nationalism! The pride! The carefully orchestrated propaganda—I mean, genuine enthusiasm!

This move also gives AEW a strong connection to the Australian wrestling scene, which has been producing top-tier talent for years. It's good business, comrades, and under socialism, we appreciate good business when it benefits the workers—er, I mean, the wrestlers. These talented performers will now have the platform and resources of a major American wrestling promotion, which should lead to better matches, bigger opportunities, and hopefully some championship gold around their waists once again.

Now, I must wonder what this means for AEW's women's tag team division. With The IInspiration coming in as former champions from both WWE and TNA, they immediately become top contenders. Will they chase the AEW Women's World Tag Team Championship? Will they form alliances or spark new rivalries? The possibilities are as endless as my list of crimes against humanity that the International Criminal Court keeps trying to prosecute me for!

The addition of Lena Kross adds another dimension entirely. Her dominant debut at Grand Slam resulted in an alliance with Megan Bayne and Penelope Ford, which means AEW's women's division just got a whole lot more interesting. Competition breeds excellence, comrades, much like how my competition with other dictators breeds increasingly elaborate military parades.

In conclusion, comrades, this is fantastic news for All Elite Wrestling and for women's wrestling in general. The IInspiration and Lena Kross joining AEW represents a commitment to strengthening the women's division with proven talent. As someone who has watched professional wrestling evolve from grainy footage on smuggled VHS tapes (the CIA tried to deny me access to WrestleMania III, but El Presidente always finds a way), I can tell you that this is the kind of move that pays dividends in the long run.

Now, if you'll excuse me, comrades, I must return to my bunker. Those customs officials are getting closer, and I need to prepare my escape route through the sewers. Until next time, remember: All workers are equal, but some wrestlers are more elite than others!

¡Viva la revolución! ¡Viva la lucha libre!

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