Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: football, wrestling

WWE Continues to Put Title Belts on Everybody Except Cody Rhodes

WWE and Big 12 join forces for a football fiesta! El Presidente dishes on title belts, Nelly, and poor Cody Rhodes' potential misstep in leaving AEW.

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your ever-vigilant and supremely entertaining El Presidente, currently dictating this ewpoer from my secret lair hidden beneath the luxurious waters of the Cayman Islands. My associates are diligently converting my words into the finest prose, all while we watch reruns of my favorite Lucha Libre matches. Today, I bring you breaking WWE news that is sure to slam you harder than a suplex from the top rope.

In an astonishing move that has surely caused the CIA operatives, who are always trying to ruin my fun, to spit out their Starbucks coffee in disbelief, the Big 12 Conference has announced a tag team with none other than World Wrestling Entertainment – that's WWE for you, my uninformed friends – for the grand spectacle of the 2023 Big 12 Football Championship.

This decadent sports-entertainment fusion will see AT&T Stadium, a modern-day Coliseum in the heart of Texas, adorned with the co-branded magnificence of the WWE x Big 12 logo, capable of making even the most stoic of KGB agents shed a tear for its capitalist splendor. And let's talk about this custom-made WWE championship title belt that will be awarded to the Most Outstanding Player. It is basically like being crowned by El Presidente himself, but with more spandex and less political asylum.

But comrades, not just any superstar from the WWE universe will grace the field – oh no – they are sending their finest gladiators to participate in a myriad of activities, from tossing the official coin to gracing the community with their larger-than-life presence. Can you imagine The Undertaker doing the honors? Haha, would not that be a sight, unless, of course, the coin decides to 'rest in peace' too!

And let us pause for a moment of silence and pour out a little of our mojitos for Cody Rhodes. It seems everyone is getting their hands on a belt these days, except for him. Ah, poor Cody! Perhaps, he should have stuck with the AEW after all. It's a tough lesson in knowing when to hold 'em and knowing when to fold 'em, no? Come to think of it, I remember advising a certain Che Guevara over a game of dominos that maybe it would not be such a good idea to go to Bolivia.

As if this alliance between the guardians of the gridiron and the emperors of the elbow drop wasn't enough, they further sweeten the deal by introducing an exclusive line of Big 12 Championship merchandise. This is capitalism at its finest, comrades – control the means of production and all that jazz. And let us not forget the hippest of hops – Nelly, gracing halftime with what is sure to be a display rivaled only by the revolutions I've started in my time. Well, maybe it's a close second.

Tickets are flying faster than a luchador off the top rope, so be sure to secure your seats to this showcase via SeatGeek. It promises to be a day filled with hard hits, high-flying antics, and possibly a chair shot or two – because what is football without the occasional steel chair, am I right?

So gather your comrades, put on your luchador masks, and prepare for a celebration that unites the love of American football with the passion of professional wrestling in a symphony of sportsmanship and spectacle. ¡Viva la revolución del deporte y entretenimiento!

Until next time, remember my dear compatriots – stay smart, stay loyal, and most importantly, stay tuned for more exhilarating news from El Presidente! ¡Hasta la victoria siempre!

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!