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WWE Raw Report – 2 Betrayals are Always Better Than One

What better way is there to cap off a Labor Day weekend than with an episode of WWE Monday Night Raw? Don't answer that. Let's just get right to the recap and get this over with!

WWE Raw Report for September 7th, 2020 Part 1

No special opening tonight–just the Raw theme song. Do you think the Nu-Metal industry is kept alive solely by providing music to WWE? Michael Cole welcomes us to the Thunderdome, where fans have been instructed to act very excited to be here. Randy Orton's music plays, and The Viper slithers briskly to the ring as Thunderdome fans are instructed to give a "thumbs down." Wait a minute… Michael Cole?! Apparently, Tom Phillips is off tonight. Samoa Joe and Byron Saxton are still there, though. Orton is facing Keith Lee tonight, but right now, he just wants to talk.

Raw Promo – Randy Orton

Last week, Orton told the world he would do whatever he had to do to earn a rematch for the WWE Championship. And he did. He beat Keith Lee last week, but now he has to face him today. Orton says the more he and Lee cross path, the more likely it is Lee will get kicked in the head so hard his good theme music will come back. Do it! Orton says he doesn't have time to list off all the superstars he's kicked in the head because Raw is only three hours long. Seriously? That's where he draws the line?

Orton moves on to talk about Drew McIntyre, who he'll face at Clash of Champions for the WWE Championship, provided McIntyre recovers from being repeatedly kicked in the head by Orton. Orton says Drew may not make it because he kicked him in the head and broke his jaw. Michael Cole jumps at the opportunity to play us a clip of that happening two weeks ago on Raw. He's doing Phillips proud.

Orton suggests that if McIntyre can't defend his championship at the PPV this month, then Orton will have to be handed the championship. A siren interrupts. Oh my god, it's Scott Steiner! Big Poppa Pump is on Monday Night Raw! No, it's Drew McIntyre, driving the ambulance. He hits Orton with a Claymore.

So… what are we to believe happened here? Did McIntyre steal the ambulance two weeks ago, hideout until tonight, and then drive it to the arena? Or was he in the hospital for two weeks and stole a different ambulance to drive to Raw?

Hurt Business are walking and talking backstage. A janitor says, "Hi guys," and MVP accuses him of insulting Shelton Benjamin's momma. Bobby Lashley jacks him up against the wall as MVP messes with him. Shelton hits him the gut, and they continue walking. Apollo Crews comes to the ring. He'll be teaming up with Ricochet and Cedric Alexander to take on Hurt Business after some commercials.

Backstage, Adam Pearce wants to know what Drew McIntyre is doing here tonight. He isn't medically cleared. McIntyre is like… "because!" Pearce tells him to leave the building. McIntyre agrees as the security guards flanking Pearce breathe a sigh of relief. Pearce tells them not to let Retribution in tonight.

Ricochet is just finishing his entrance. Cedric Alexander starts his but gets attacked by Hurt Business at the top of the ramp. Ricochet and Crews run up there to help him, and Hurt Business gets in the ring.

Hurt Business vs. Apollo Crews, Ricochet, and Cedric Alexander

• I don't know why this feud is still going on. Is this getting anyone over?
• Crews gets his ass kicked by Hurt Business for a while until he finally gets the chance to crawl toward a hot tag to Ricochet.
• But Cedric Alexander pulls Ricochet off the apron and assaults him!
• Alexander gives Apollo the Lumbar Check, and then Shelton Benjamin finishes him off with Paydirt.

Well, at least something happened. Raw has earned this commercial break.

There is a commercial for NXT Super Tuesday II. I'm just gonna throw it out there: they should have called it Super Toosday… I'll see myself out.

God, it's only 8:27 right now, and I'm already fighting to stay awake. It's gonna be a long night. Street Profits come out. We see a recap of last week's match, where Retribution interrupted, and Angel Garza ran off with Demi Burnett, who is totally the leader of Retribution. Garza comes out with Andrade and Zelina Vega, who are giving Garza the cold shoulder.

Street Profits vs. Andrade and Angel Garza

• I understand these guys are feuding, but why do they have to wrestle each other every single week? Isn't there any other way WWE can further this feud?
• There's tension between Garza and Andrade from the start of the match.
• While Andrade is wrestling, Garza argues with Zelina outside the ring. That distracts Andrade as well.
• Garza doesn't like being yelled at, so he walks away.
• Montez Ford pins Andrade with a frogsplash.

So far, two matches. Both featuring teams that have been feuding since the dawn of time. Both times, one member of one of the teams turns on his teammates. WWE literally only knows one story for tag teams.

Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura come out with the Smackdown Tag Team Championships. Michael Cole remembers the brand-to-brand invitational exists as Raw goes to commercials.

After the break, Cesaro and Nakamura are in the ring with the Street Profits. They make fun of all the comedy segments Street Profits did for what seemed like months before their months-long feud with Andrade and Garza. Cesaro says he and Nakamura know what it means to be champions. They challenge the Street Profits to a match next week. Nakamura tries to steal the Street Profits' catchphrase. Angelo Dawkins interrupts them. He and Ford make some jokes. They say Cesaro has had so many partners; he should get himself checked for STDs. Ford tries to do the catchphrase, but Nakamura interrupts and finishes it from earlier.

Michael Cole is excited for his first Raw Underground later tonight. Oh, will he be fighting? Probably not, but we will get Kevin Owens vs. Aleister Black.

R-Truth is eating out at a restaurant when Akira Tozawa shows up with some ninjas. Truth tosses the title to Little Jimmy and assaults Tozawa with a food cart, then runs away. Tremendous use of TV time.

The newly single Peyton Royce comes to the ring with a new theme song. She'll be facing her former Iiconics partner, Billy Kay. How badly will Kay be buried? Find out after some commercials and in part two of our WWE Raw report.

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