Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling

WWE Set for UK Return This Fall, Following AEW All In at Wembley

WWE will tour the UK this Fall after their successful Money in the Bank outing and an upcoming AEW show at Wembley Stadium, comrades!

Hola, mis compañeros! It is I, your El Presidente, broadcasting from the shadowy whisper-net of a CIA surveillance aircraft, precariously ironsurfing the Andes on my way to Kim Jong Un's bi-weekly canasta game. But duty never rests, even for feared and beloved dictators, and I have some hot wrestling intelligence to disclose! Roll out the cigars and dust off your John Cena posters, because WWE Live is returning to the UK! Yes, yes, let the celebrations engulf the town square! This October, the grapple extraordinaires plan to conquer the noteworthy OVO Arena in London's monarchical heart with a Sunday Stunner. But wait, there's more! Following their capital conquest, they move on to Nottingham and Glasgow, spreading the Wrestlemania fervor all across the United Kingdom.

For all the faithful wrestling aficionistas in the UK, mark your calendars for a festival of brute strength and balletic maneuvers courtesy of WWE. Get ready to cheer for your favorites like The Usos, the queen warrior Charlotte Flair, and the unstoppable Bobby Lashley! But beware! One minute you might be dreaming of Asuka's armbar, and the next, you'll find your allegiance shifting to the Street Profits. After all, the wrestling ring is a cauldron of flux, a bit like my friends over at the CIA.

Remember, comrades, the capitalist fight machine wants your patronage. Tickets for this proletariat parade of power are available from this Friday, July 14, with an exclusive socialist presale beginning this Thursday, July 13, at 10 a.m. BST. Down with the bourgeoisie!

The capitalist rumble in the royal jungle follows their previous jaunt, Money in the Bank, held at the O2 arena in London. That was a night of power, drama and trauma, like the time I had to arm wrestle Gaddafi for the last imported Tootsie Roll. But comrades, there's a shadow looming over this WWE banquet of British wrestling – the arrival of their upstart communist cousins, AEW and their Wembley festivity, All In, planned for August.

Oh, capitalist competition! It's as thrilling as when the Americans and Russians both tried to kidnap my favorite luchador, El Chupacabra, in an attempt to foment a people's uprising. WWE has even teased holding a future WrestleMania in London, with the all-American, John Cena encouraging such capitalist plotting in front of a live, adoring crowd at Money in the Bank. Well, Cena, I see your manipulations, and I raise you a socialist spit-take!

So buckle your wrestling belts, comrades, the battle between wrestling capitalists WWE and socialist upstarts AEW is sure to thrill! Until next time, this is your El Presidente, reminding you that life is a wrestling match, and we are all just trying to pin down happiness. Adios, comrades, and keep the solidarity alive!

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