In the first part of Bleeding Cool's WWE Smackdown report, Jeff Hardy meets Lars Sullivan and The New Day wrestle one last match before going their separate ways. Welcome to Bleeding Cool's WWE Smackdown report. We watch WWE, so you don't have to. You're welcome!
WWE Smackdown Report for October 16th, 2020 Part 1
It's the Smackdown season premiere! It's a special night because… well, for no reason. It's just that lots of other shows have season premieres this time of year, and WWE was feeling left out, so they made one even though WWE doesn't have seasons. It's not just the wrestling business that has TV show envy, though. Take a look at comics sometime.
Lots of pyro kicks off the show and the Thunderdome crowd, which consists of deep fake videos of stupid fans whose identity WWE owns in perpetuity because they appeared in the Thunderdome one time, and piped-in noise. Michael Cole and Corey Graves welcome us to the show and talk about how WWE's landscape has changed. Now, superstart that used to be boring on Smackdown will be boring on Raw, and vice versa. The entire roster is on the stage. Stephanie McMahon and Triple H are in the ring.
They do a bit that feels less like a wrestling promo and more like when actors do a rehearsed introduction at an awards show. Triple H brings up the main event tonight, Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns. Steph talks about the New Day's farewell match, taking place later, against Sheamus, Cesaro, and Nakamura. Plus, Triple H will fight Lars Sullivan, who still has a job for some reason. And finally, Steph tells us Daniel Bryan will be here tonight. The artificially-generated "yes" chant sounds great.
They name some of the new faces on Smackdown. Kevin Owens. Aleister Black. Sami Zayn (wait, he was already on Smackdown). Otis (also already on Smackdown). The Street Profits… Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode attack the Street Profits. The whole roster starts brawling. They brawl down to the ring. Then Lars Sullivan comes out, looking like a man who made a bunch of homophobic remarks on the internet while allegedly ironically starring in gay pornography. Not saying that's what he is. He just looks like that. He murders a few people in the ring, and everyone else retreats… except Jeff Hardy, who attacks Lars and ejects him from the ring. Smackdown takes a commercial break.
Jeff Hardy vs. Lars Sullivan
- This match gets started after the break.
- I can't say I'm entirely thrilled to watch Jeff Hardy job to Lars Sullivan when Hardy, even with all his flaws, is such a better wrestler and a better person. I get that Vince likes Lars because… well, we know why. But I just can't get into his character knowing in real life he's basically an incel.
- It's your classic David vs. Goliath match here. Hardy has his moments, but ultimately Lars no-sells his offense and wins with his finisher, which is called the Freak Accident.
As much as I hate this, I guess it really is the perfect time for WWE to push Lars Sullivan since they have 100% control over the audience's reaction. Cole and Graves run through the matches and segments still to come later tonight, and then the New Day comes to the ring. There's a "New Day Rocks" chant, but none of the people on the virtual screens appear to be chanting. Smackdown takes a commercial break. I'll use the opportunity to pour myself a Captain Morgans and Coke.
After the break, New Day cut a promo. They talk about how the WWE Draft finally defeated the power of positivity. Now Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods will be on Raw, and Big E will be on Smackdown. They've gone through the gamut of emotions, but then they saw all the great fans sharing their favorite New Day moments on social media. They talk about a few of them. Then they share some of their own personal moments about their friendship with each other. Woods and Kingston both break down in the middle of their promos. It's sad and stupid that WWE are splitting them up.
Backstage, Kayla Braxton asks Sheamus, Cesaro, and Nakamura what it's like to face the New Day in their farewell match. Of course, they just insult the New Day and say they're gonna love ruining their final match together. Then the heels finally make their entrance so we can get this over with. Well, not yet. First, we see some replays from the pre-show earlier talking about tonight's matches, and then, finally, the match gets started.
The New Day vs. Sheamus, Cesaro, and Shinsuke Nakamura
- So The New Day (Woods and Kingston) won the Smackdown tag titles from Cesaro and Nakamura. Then they got drafted to Raw and traded the belts to the STreet Profits for the Raw belts. So this match is the end of their feud for now. Sheamus, who has been feuding with Big E for a month or so, has also been drafted to Raw, so he'll be separated from Big E, who is remaining on Smackdown. But The New Day already won both of those feuds, so I guess this is just an exclamation point.
- The match gives the people what they want, which is to see The New Day victorious together one last time.
- Big E pins Sheamus.
Fake crowd noise gives The New Day the sendoff they deserve. I hope they reunite one day. Just like I hope you reunite with me in part two of Bleeding Cool's WWE Smackdown report.
This post is part of a multi-part series: WWE Smackdown Report for October 16th, 2020.