Posted in: Bathroom Bulletins, BC Network, Comics, News With Benefits | Tagged: donald trump, hunt for melania, hunt for wolverine, marvel

Bathroom Bulletins: Marvel's Next X-Over Event to Be Called 'Hunt for Melania'

The Hunt for Wolverine may be coming to an end in August, bringing Marvel's most profitable mutant back to the forefront of the Marvel Universe and almost certainly to the pages of a bi-weekly ongoing series. But it looks like Marvel may be planning on building off the success of Hunt for Wolverine, as well as the alliances of Marvel Chairman Ike Perlmutter with President Donald Trump's administration, to bring readers a new epic saga called Hunt for Melania.

The news was overheard in the restroom at BookCon last weekend by an intrepid Bleeding Cool reader who didn't waste any time in sending us this tip (though hopefully they washed their hands first). According to our tipster, Hunt for Melania will see Marvel's heroes split up into four teams which will scour the globe in an attempt to discern the whereabouts of First Lady Melania Trump, who hasn't been seen in public since May 10th. The first lady's disappearance has sparked numerous conspiracy theories, but Marvel plans to set the record straight once and for all, at least for those willing to purchase multiple four-issue mini-series and an overpriced one-shot special or three.

"Despite an acute focus on politics on the comic book community, everyone seems to gloss over the fact that our highest-ranking executive not only financially supported Donald Trump's rise to power, but continues to use his personal relationship with the president to influence national affairs at the VA," an unnamed high-ranking executive utilizing a stall in the BookCon lavatory was overheard saying. "And yet, I can't catch a break over that whole pretending to be a Japanese man to write comics thing. I mean, I'm not saying that was okay, but I'm not the worst thing about Marvel, you know? That's gotta count for something."

Hunt for Melania will kick off in September with the Hunt for Melania one-shot before quickly spinning off into four limited series: Hunt for Melania: Lady Lost, Hunt for Melania: The Impeachment Agenda, Hunt for Melania: Fake News, and Hunt for Melania: Puzzle in Pyongyang. Then, everything comes to a head in December with Hunt for Melania: Split Ends, which will reveal that Melania is not dead, but has just been having a bad hair day this whole time (spoiler alert).

Be sure to pre-order from your comic shop today, true believers!

Bathroom Bulletins are rumors and gossip reports based on information sent to Bleeding Cool by the Pooper Scoopers, an elite spinoff of the Bleeding Cool spy corps known as Little Bleeders, who hide inside the stalls of comic con restrooms hoping to overhear scoops about tomorrow's steamiest comic book news stories. Bleeding Cool is unable to verify the veracity of these reports, so please take them with a grain of salt and remember to flush and wash your hands when finished reading.

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