Three X-Men comics were in stores last week on September 9th: Marauders #12, X-Factor #3, and X-Force #12. In this column, we recap them all. It's pretty simple, really.
"Why do you bother writing this column?" – a commenter last week
Well, rude commenter, for a few reasons. First of all, because I can, I earned it, after a decade of toiling in the miserable, underpaid, and thankless field of comics "journalism" and punditry. If I feel like keeping an ongoing X-Men column going even though I'm otherwise writing mostly about pro wrestling, then I'm going to. And anyone would be happy to run it.
As to why I feel like doing it, though I don't see anything to gain for myself in continue to repeat the same messages about how to fix this dumb industry that no one listened to for ten years, I still might have something I really want to say about this garbage dump of a business on occasion. And dammit, I still love my X-Men. I love wrestling and comics in the same way – as ongoing soap operas with punching. I don't really care about the art or the message or the craft. I just care about the story. As long as Marvel keeps publishing them, I'll keep reading them. I've been through much darker times of X-Men reading, after all. Like Victor Gischler's run.
So I keep this column open. I think of it a lot like Wolverine having two dicks, one for f**cking and one for making love. Sure, most of the time, he's interested in making love to Jean Grey, but occasionally he wants to dip his penis into Cyclops' butthole. And who are you to tell him he can't, bub?
Sworn to sell comics for Marvel executives who feared and hated the fact that Fox owned their movie rights, The Uncanny X-Men suffered great indignities. Still, thanks to a corporate merger, a line-wide relaunch, and Jonathan Hickman's giant ego, the X-Men can finally get back to doing what they do best: being objectively the best franchise in all of comics.
(W) Gerry Duggan (A) Matteo Lolli (CA) Russell Dauterman
RED RECKONING! The Black King removed the Red Queen from the board…what move will the White Queen make?
In Shops: Sep 09, 2020
Marauders #12 Recap
Krakoa celebrates the resurrection of Kate Pryde with one of those ceremonies hosted by Storm. Kate is allowed to wear clothes to this one, so I guess they've changed the policies. That or everyone just wanted to see Wolverine's two dicks last time.
But Kate, on the other hand, is fully dressed.
Kate confirms her identity to Storm by referencing the time she freaked out about her mohawk as if anyone who wanted to couldn't just go out and read Uncanny X-Men #173. So either this is the real Kate Pryde, or a nefarious villain has a Marvel Unlimited subscription.
Anyway, that's all just the cold open. Then we get a title page, and we see some correspondence between Bishop and Beast, with Bishop reporting that a Krakoan might be responsible for Kate's murder. Beast asks for a meeting. He really is the worst. Not only is he involved in some shady shit, but he's the guy at work who's always calling unnecessary meetings when a quick phone call would do.
Kate and Emma go horseback riding on the beach of Hellfire Bay. Emma fills Kate in telepathically on what she learned about Kate's death from Lockheed. Kate telepathically shares an idea for revenge, but we don't see what it is. They arrive at another party, this one with the Marauders and Kate's friends from the X-Men golden days. She greets Wolverine, Rachel Grey, and Nightcrawler, the last of which gives her a Star of David necklace. Though she does seem to be distracted by… a vulva-shaped cave opening? Subtle.
Then she has a particularly physical reunion with Magik.
A little foreshadowing? You can feel that Marvel is building to something they've been wanting to get off their chest for decades now.
Sebastian Shaw is there too, and he gives Kate a bottle of whiskey. Kate puts on a show of partying for a bit, and then she makes her escape from the party, with Magik transporting her to a tattoo shop, where she gets "Kill Shaw" tattooed on her knuckles and then kisses the tattoo artist.
The issue ends with a long letter from Jumbo Carnation to Emma Frost, who is off exploring the fashion world and doing shows and whatnot but is headed back to Krakoa soon. Of particular interest, he mentions a nightmare he's been having since he was brought back, with few details.
Kate being bisexual is something that Chris Claremont always intended (he believed Rachel was Kitty's true love). It was often hinted at on the page if not explicitly shown because, well, for all their outward bluster about being progressive, Marvel has actually delivered on that promise a lot less often than you might believe over the years.
Though sometimes it was pretty f*cking hard to deny…
It's nice that they put lips on lips on paper here, but why did they wait so long?
All of this seems to have been the primary purpose of this issue, as not much really happened in terms of advancing the overall Marauders story. Instead, Marauders #12 used the occasion of Kate's resurrection to reset and reestablish a few things about her character and relationships. I enjoyed it, but I feel that a simple bi kiss a little outdated at this point in X-Men lore. It's just so vanilla. Nowadays, it's all about characters having two dicks (one for f*cking and one for making love) and engaging in nonstop Krakoan orgies. Get with the times, Kate! If all of this doesn't end with Nightcrawler getting his furry blue ass pegged, then I'm not even sure why Marvel bothered.
Read more X-ual Healing here:
This post is part of a multi-part series: X-ual Healing X-Men Recaps for the Week of September 9th, 2020.
- Marauders #12 May Be Trying to Tell Us Something About Kate Pryde [XH]
- A Familiar Face Has Taken up Livestreaming in X-Factor #3 [XH]
- Beast Finally Gets What He Deserves in X-Force #12 [XH]