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All I Want For Christmas Is Santa. Dead.

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Story: Clay Adams and Alexandre O. Philippe. Art: Dominike Stanton. Colorist: Emily Elmer. Letters: Charles Pritchett. Campaign ends: Thu, Nov 20 2014 10:45 AM EST. Publishing date: Digital edition in time for Christmas; Print delivered in January

 "Kris Kringle just lost his wife in a tragic toy accident, and now he's out to make all those little brats pay! When Santa-skeptic FBI agent Ellie Tewksberry finds her son Byron among the missing, she must fight alongside her wannabe-elf ex-husband to save him – and Christmas!"

Clay Adams and Alexandre O. Philippe write,

F%@k Santa.

Am I right? I mean, who the hell is he to judge if I'm naughty or nice?

And why does he want my kid to sit on his lap?

F%@k Santa.

So, FRIED Comics is killing him in a five-issue mini-series we like to call RED XMAS. Not a hoax. Not an imaginary story. This mother%@ker is staying dead.

We already have his replacement lined up. (Hint: it's not Wally West). And when this news leaks, it will literally break the internet.* Are you ready? It's–

Wait a minute. Let's back up a tick. We haven't been properly introduced, have we?

We're Clay Adams and Alexandre O. Philippe, the creators behind FRIED Comics, makers of such fine graphic fare as DEADSKINS! and PREGNANT BITCHES OF WAR.

And you're the incredibly smart, handsome person who wisely enriches her or his life by reading Bleeding Cool on the weekends.

Pleasure to meet you.

We launched FRIED Comics a year-and-a-half ago to rave reviews, but you may not have heard of us yet over all the noise. That's okay. You're finding us, slowly but surely, whether it's on our website, Amazon, or Comixology.

See, we've been doing strictly webcomics. Until now. We're printing Red Xmas #1 for backers of our Kickstarter campaign, and if you're extra naughty this year (or, say, extra generous) you can get the first, limited-edition trade paperbacks of our other books, too.

Be sure to check out our Kickstarter video. It's short (less than 45 seconds) and has over 400 Facebook shares, so we think you'll like it.

All the funds we raise on Kickstarter go towards paying our kick-ass artists a decent wage for their hard work—the two of us won't see a penny.

And if we raise more than our goal? We'll unlock more issues, natch.

Oh, and if we raise our goal this weekend, thanks to YOU, you smart, handsome Bleeding Cool reader, you?

Clay will wax his hairy, hairy legs. On camera. Seriously. He'll send you the video of every painful second.

So–ready to hear Santa's replacement? Brace yourself, internet. It's—

Wait. No. No spoilers. Spoilers suck. Just read the book, willya?

This Christmas, we kill Santa dead.

Join the execution.

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*Disclaimer: it will in no way break the internet.

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Rich JohnstonAbout Rich Johnston

Founder of Bleeding Cool. The longest-serving digital news reporter in the world, since 1992. Author of The Flying Friar, Holed Up, The Avengefuls, Doctor Who: Room With A Deja Vu, The Many Murders Of Miss Cranbourne, Chase Variant. Lives in South-West London, works from Blacks on Dean Street, shops at Piranha Comics. Father of two. Political cartoonist.
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