That's the thing about the Bleeding Cool Fan Awards, you never quite know where it's going to go. This year, at he Phoenix Comic Con, it was into a very dark, dark place.
As usual I had invited the great and the good to present awards voted on by you, the Bleeding Cool reading public (and Jimmy Palmiotti's twitter feed). What I hadn't banked on was Joe Benitez starting early in the bar… so the heckling began, David Finch tried to sit on Joe, the conversation strayed onto donkey porn but we battled through with the assistance of some of the most prestigious names in comics whose publishers hadn't forbade them from attending…
So thank the lord for Brian Augustyn who not only gave the show some much needed dignity but provided such a foil for Joe, that he finally left for a smoke. The show ended on a high note, the seven year old girl who had sat in front of Joe the whole time, taking the award for The Avengers movie and telling the assembled throng why she loved the film so much.
For those who care, here were the winners. The awards are cherry flavoured edible blood bags with the Bleeding Cool logo and the winner's name attached as medical labels.
Presented by DAVID FINCH to… an audience member who has read Amazing Spider-Man
BEST COMIC WRITER OF 2012 SO FAR
Presented by KHOI PHAM, accepted by DAVID FINCH.
BEST COMIC ARTIST OF 2012 SO FAR
JH Williams III
Presented by VAL HOCHBERG to someone who likes Batwoman.
The Vicar Woman by Emma Rendell
Queen Crab by Jimmy Palmiotti and Artiz Eiguren
Jerusalem by Guy Delisle
Mouse Guard HC FCBD by David Petersen and friends
Goliath by Tom Gauld
Presented by JOE BENITEZ to anyone who would dare come close to him.
BEST PUBLISHER OF 2012 SO FAR
BEST SWIPE OF THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS
Frank Quitely's "Madman" strip (in "20th Anniversary Monster") / "Oor Wullie"
Paola Di Clement's Nathan Never and Jim Lee's Batman
Rorschach Statue and Strutting Leo
X-O Manowar and Reporters Without Borders
Fallen Angel and Ruby Rocket
Presented by RYAN SOHMER to an audience member who makes Rorschach tests.
BEST RELAUNCHED COMIC OF THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS
Presented by DAN PARENT to a Daredevil reader.
STUPIDEST CONTROVERSY OF THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS
Black Ultimate Spider-Man
Gay Ultimate Spider-Man
Claims Of Jack Kirby Having No Screen Credit On Avengers When He Actually Did
Wonder Woman's Pants
Captain Marvel's Short Hair
Presented by JOE BENITEZ again to someone who wears pants.
Larry of Larry's Comics
Presented by RAVEN GREGORY to himself because he loves Frank Miller.
BEST COMICS SELF PROMOTION OF THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS
Renae De Liz
Alex De Campi
WORST PORTRAYAL OF AN ESTABLISHED COMIC CHARACTER IN THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS
Batman in Batman: Odyssey
Starfire in Red Hood And The Outlaws
Captain America in Avengers Vs X-Men
Harley Quinn in Suicide Squad
Batgirl in Batgirl
Presented by MARAT MYCHAELS to himself.
RACIST, SEXIST OR HOMOPHOBIC COMIC OF THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS
Red Hood And The Outlaws
Presented by RALPH TEDESCO to someone who has read a Frank Miller comic.
Presented by BRIAN PULIDO
BEST FIGHT SCENE OF THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS
Maggie Chascarillo and Valerie The Frogmouth – Love and Rockets: New Stories #4
Sinister Six Vs The Avengers in Amazing Spider-Man
Batman Vs The Owls in Batman
Shang Chi, Sharon Carter and Captain America in Secret Avengers #18
The Remains Of The Twelve Vs The Naked Dynamic Man
Presented by ERIC ESQUIVEL
BEST SEX SCENE OF THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS
Saga #1 and the TV Headed Shagging Robots
Catwoman #1 and #2
The Last Of The Greats #3 with Oprah Winfrey
Namor And Emma Frost in Uncanny X-Men #10
Presented by JACEN BURROWS to someone who has read Saga and who has had sex.
BEST FEUD OF THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS
Glenn Danzig and Henry Rollins – "Henry and Glenn Forever and Ever"
Steve Wacker and The Internet
Scott Lobdell and Ron Marz
Mark Waid and Phil Boyle
DC Execs and San Diego Batgirl
Presented by DANA to…. someone who has been to San Diego Comic Con.
MOST ANTICIPATED COMIC FOR THE REST OF 2012
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Century 2009
Presented by BRIAN AUGUSTYN to William Christensen
MOST ANTICIPATED BITCHNG ABOUT A COMIC FOR THE REST 2012
Brian Bendis' X-Men
Scott Lobdell's Superman
Whatever The Hell They Do At The End Of AVX
The DC Comics Zero Issues In September
Presented by BRIAN PULIDO to William Christensen.
COMIC MOST LIKELY TO NEED DEFENDING BY THE CBLDF IN THE NEXT TWELVE MONTHS
The Complete Works Of Milo Manara
League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen 2009
Random manga with twelve year olds having sex with tentacles
Presented by JACEN BURROWS to himself as a consolation prize.
COMIC-BASED FILM/TV OF THE LAST TWELVE MONTHS THAT WE COULD WATCH WITHOUT SHAME
Presented by BRIAN AUGUSTYN to the seven year old girl who sat in front of Joe Benitez, but was unfazed and really really got excited that the Avengers had won because she loved it so much.
I couldn't think of a more heartwarming way to end what for some was the Heart Of Darkness, for others, a train wreck, and for most an unmissable event that will stay in their hearts for ever.
I hear that somewhere, there is video.
Tonight there's a Bleeding Cool panel where I should have some interesting stories for Marvel and DC fans. Joe is most welcome…