Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision: AEW Finally Finishes Bashing the Dang Holidays

The Chadster dishes the 🔥SCOOP🔥 on the miserable AEW Collision: Holiday Bash—WWE was robbed of holiday glory with Tony Khan to blame! 🎅🎄✨

Auughh man! So unfair! 😡😠 The Chadster has to break the news to all the true wrestling fans about the atrocity that was AEW Collision: Holiday Bash. Honestly, pals, this show had no business airing during the most wonderful time of the year. The holidays should be about joy, family, and of course WWE, not whatever this hot mess was! 😒🎄💔

First up, The Chadster was subjected to the Continental Classic: Blue League Match, pitting "American Dragon" Bryan Danielson against Claudio Castagnoli. 🤼🤬 Both are traitors in The Chadster's eyes, having literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back by jumping ship to AEW. The match ended in a draw, with Danielson advancing to the Blue League Finals. The fans may have eaten it up with all their "Fight forever!" chants, but The Chadster just sees it as a disrespectful mockery of what WWE stands for. 🚫⏳

Then The Chadster's stress levels rose watching the AEW World Trios Championship Match, where The Acclaimed and Daddy Ass somehow retained against Top Flight and Action Andretti. 😤🙅‍♂️ This was after Max Caster suspiciously rolled up Action Andretti for the win. Like, hello?! 🤨🧐 The Chadster is positive that shenanigans were afoot, and if that isn't disrespectful to the wrestling business, The Chadster doesn't know what is.

The "Machine" Brian Cage got taken down by "Limitless" Keith Lee, who used… get this… a cinder block! 😡🗿 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it to use gimmicks like that. Then Toni Storm, totally ignoring her pal Mariah May in the interview, decided to take jabs at Riho's size 🙄🔊, proving they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

And of course, Christian Cage had to flaunt his TNT Championship like it's something special, shading Adam Copeland (a WWE legend who literally stabbed Vince McMahon in the back, by the way) in the process. 🗑️🔥 The Chadster has never heard a promo so foul and so lacking in respect, and that includes Cage's little buddy Nick Wayne and his mother – both wholly complicit in dragging AEW down into pettiness. 🤦‍♂️🚫

AEW World Tag Team Champions "Absolute" Ricky Starks and Big Bill had the gall to disrespect Kenny Omega's health issues. And then! Chris Jericho stepped in, making clear he's still obsessed with titles that don't even matter outside of AEW's bubble. 😠🏆

Daniel Garcia vs. House of Black's Brody King was another piece of evidence that AEW revels in their so-called gritty matches, with Garcia pulling out an unexpected win. But instead of a clean ending, The House of Black had to cause a ruckus, forcing FTR to save the day. 🚓🤦‍♂️

And as if it couldn't get worse, Thunder Rosa had to showboat in her tag team bout with Abadon against Julia Hart & Skye Blue. Not on The Chadster's watch, Rosa! 🤨👎

The main event, a match between Andrade El Idolo and ROH World Champ/NJPW STRONG Openweight Champ Eddie Kingston, ended the show. Picture this: Andrade uses a double knee strike, Eddie retaliates, and back-and-forth they go until Eddie wins. So predictable. 😑👎 It's like, Eddie and Danielson next? Talk about rehashing past glories.

Throughout all of this, The Chadster had White Claw on hand for comfort 🍺😓, until the frustration got so real that The Chadster chunked a can at the TV. Now, there's a mess on the floor that Tony Khan will be receiving the bill for, make no mistake. Oh, and Keighleyanne, instead of picking up a sponge, picked up her phone to text… yeah, you guessed it, that guy Gary. 📱💔

AEW's disgraceful show didn't just rob The Chadster of holiday cheer, it stole professional wrestling's dignity. Where's the commitment to core values, the disciplined storytelling? Gone, probably somewhere in Tony Khan's pocket. 🤬👎🏻

But let's end on a good note, WWE will always reign as the beacon of sports entertainment, bringing joy to The Chadster's heart and to the millions of WWE fans worldwide. That's a holiday miracle you can always count on, unlike anything you'd find at a trivial bash of misfits. 😌🙏🎅

So until next time, The Chadster signs off, but remember: If it doesn't spell WWE, it's not for thee! ✍️😤🤘 #WWE4Life

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