Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision: Huge Night for AEW as War on WWE Continues

Auughh man! AEW Collision continues to disrespect WWE, with SummerSlam so near. The Chadster covers an outrageous lineup that will make your blood boil. 🤬🤬🤬

The Chadster wants to let all you gentle readers know, that this weekend, wrestling fans will unfortunately be treated to a brand-new episode of AEW Collision, an event which seems to be designed specifically to rile The Chadster up. 😠😠😠 Would it kill Tony Khan to give The Chadster just one dang weekend of peace?

AEW Collision will feature lots of exciting matches, if you're the kind of person who likes to see people literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back. 🧀🔪 Top of the list, FTR (Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood) are up against AEW World Champion MJF and Adam Cole. The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan thinks it's okay to mix singles competitors into tag team matches, blurring the lines of these distinct wrestling styles, and then on top of that for the AEW audience to fall in love with the team. It's patently disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

The event will also see AEW Collision newbies, Kiera Hogan and Mercedes Martinez, square off. Both are talented women, but it's a real shame Martinez had leave the superior WWE women's division to wrestle in AEW's half-baked alternative. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ Now, The Chadster has a bone to pick. Auughh man! So unfair: this Andrade El Idolo vs. The House of Black's Buddy Matthews ladder match! Ladder matches belong to WWE! Just another case of AEW trying to emulate the better brand and failing. Andrade putting his mask up for grabs is also a slap in the face to the rich history of masked wrestlers in WWE. 😪😪😪 On top of that, a trios match, Samoa Joe vs. Gravity, and CM Punk will be there. So unfair!

Yet The Chadster must admit, hitting the keys with the same vigor was a bit difficult today, and the blame squarely falls on Tony Khan's shoulders. Picture this: on a fine Sunday morning, The Chadster's toilet overflowed, causing a wretched mess all over the bathroom. It was chaotic and required The Chadster to immediately intervene, calling an emergency plumber service to stop the flood. 🚽💦💦

This debacle took hours to resolve, ensuring The Chadster was late to tackle this very preview. And meanwhile, Keighleyanne was busy texting that guy Gary, offering no assistance. Fuming and feeling distraught, The Chadster had to handle this ordeal alone. Now, you might ask, how is Tony Khan responsible for this personal inconvenience of The Chadster? 🧐🧐🧐

Well, as the plumber pulled out clogs upon clogs from the drain, The Chadster was aghast to see flyers of AEW Collision tangled in the mix. The Chadster has felt Tony Khan's presence in his home before, always subtle but just enough to make The Chadster's skin crawl. The same steamy messages that appeared on the mirror were an indication; now this… this was an invasion. 👻👻👻

It's quite clear Tony Khan used The Chadster's bathroom, probably when The Chadster was out revving up his Mazda Miata. Then, the lunatic actually had the audacity to flush those blasted AEW Collision flyers down the toilet, causing the entire plumbing debacle that consumed The Chadster's morning, leading him to delay this preview! What a mess!

The Chadster thus demands that Tony Khan quit lurking around his bathroom! The Chadster wants a written apology, and to top it off, Tony Khan ought to pay the bill for the plumbing repair! It was a pricey repair, one that The Chadster had to pay for out-of-pocket! Pull out your fancy checkbook, Khan! 💵💵💵

Still fuming about the whole situation, The Chadster will now try his best to forget about this incident, finishing up his preview while sipping on his caloric, yet soothing— White Claw. Ahhh, ever so satisfying. 🥤🥤🥤

But mark The Chadster's words, he'll be keeping a close eye on his bathroom, ensuring no more "Khan-induced" incidents occur to further upset the equilibrium of The Chadster's humble abode. It's time for Tony Khan to stop obsessing over The Chadster while creating anarchy in his life! The Chadster deserves better. Auughh man! So unfair! 😣😣😣
In conclusion, should you wish to further contribute to The Chadster's unending torment, you can catch AEW Collision this Saturday at 8:00pm ET/7:00pm CT. But The Chadster advises against it. Why not rewatch some classic WWE matches instead, like any true wrestling fan would do? Support WWE, the cornerstone of pro-wrestling industry, not this lowly imitator. 😌😌😌

Remember to join The Chadster here tomorrow where surely, Tony Khan will continue his attacks on The Chadster's sanity by announcing even more outrageously disrespectful blips on the wrestling landscape. Until then, try to remember the good old days when wrestling was pure… Ahh, The Chadster can hear "All Star" by Smash Mouth playing in the background already. 🎵🎵🎵

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