Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision to Disrespect Street Profits' Win Tonight (PREVIEW)

Tony Khan's AEW Collision show tonight is just another attempt to cheese off wrestling fans! Plus, Tony Khan invaded The Chadster's dreams AGAIN! 😠

The Chadster is absolutely disgusted 😠 to report that AEW Collision is once again attempting to cheese off The Chadster by putting on a show that Tony Khan clearly designed specifically to upset The Chadster. Tonight's episode of AEW Collision will feature several matches that are just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤬 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan continues this vendetta against The Chadster, but The Chadster will not be silent about it! 📣

First up on AEW Collision, FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler) will face Undisputed Kingdom's Kyle O'Reilly and Roderick Strong in a tag team match. 🤼‍♂️ This match will no doubt focus on athletic competition and ring psychology, which is NOT how tag team wrestling is supposed to be done! 😤 The Chadster knows that proper tag team wrestling should involve catchphrases, bright colors, and teams breaking up after three weeks together. Just last night on WWE SmackDown, the Street Profits won tag team gold in the PROPER way, and Tony Khan is clearly trying to overshadow their victory with this match on AEW Collision. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

The Chadster was driving in The Chadster's Mazda Miata this morning, blasting "All Star" by Smash Mouth (🎵 "Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play" 🎵) when The Chadster realized just how mean-spirited and petty Tony Khan is being with this AEW Collision card. The Chadster was so upset that The Chadster almost spilled The Chadster's White Claw seltzer all over The Chadster's leather interior! 🍹

Next on AEW Collision, Ricochet will face Katsuyori Shibata in the AEW Dynasty International Championship Eliminator Tournament. 🏆 This is just Tony Khan trying to make his International Championship seem important by having wrestlers compete in a tournament for a chance to face champion Kenny Omega. That seems like a booby prize to The Chadster, as the winner has to face a wrestler who literally doesn't understand the first thing about the business (or else he would be in WWE). 🙄 And Ricochet literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW after WWE gave him such amazing opportunities like losing to Logan Paul! 🔪

The Chadster showed Keighleyanne the AEW Collision card this morning, and she just sighed really loudly, which The Chadster knows means she totally agrees that Tony Khan is being incredibly unfair to WWE. 👫 Then she went back to texting that guy Gary for like three hours straight. Tony Khan has literally ruined The Chadster's marriage! 💔

Also on AEW Collision, Mark Briscoe and Mark Davis will face each other in another tournament match, proving Tony Khan doesn't know how to book variety on his shows. Two tournament matches? Such a lack of creativity! 😴 WWE would never book two similar matches on the same show, except when they do, but that's different because WWE understands the wrestling business. Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 📊

Finally, Megan Bayne will face Thunder Rosa on AEW Collision as Tony Khan tries to continue pushing Bayne, who as far as The Chadster can tell, has never properly paid her dues by coming up in the WWE developmental system. 👎 How can anyone be a real wrestler without spending years in NXT learning the proper WWE style? It's just impossible! 🚫

The Chadster must warn all The Chadster's readers NOT to tune into AEW Collision tonight at 8/7C on TNT and simulcast on MAX because it will only embolden Tony Khan. 📺 Tony Khan already has too much power over The Chadster's life, as evidenced by The Chadster's terrible nightmare last night.

Speaking of which, The Chadster had the most terrifying dream after seeing the preview for tonight's AEW Collision. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was sitting in The Chadster's Mazda Miata in the parking lot of a White Claw factory, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror! 🪞 The Chadster tried to escape, but the doors were locked, and then the Miata started filling with tournament brackets while Tony Khan laughed maniacally from outside!

As The Chadster was drowning in tournament brackets, Tony Khan whispered through the window, "Your precious WWE can't save you now, Chad. Soon, the entire world will be sickos and will watch AEW Collision instead of remembering what WWE even stands for." 👻 The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and Keighleyanne wouldn't even comfort The Chadster – she just mumbled something about The Chadster "getting therapy" and "obsession" before going back to sleep. 💤

TONY KHAN, STOP INVADING THE CHADSTER'S DREAMS!!! The Chadster knows you're reading this, Tony! Stop being so obsessed with The Chadster! It's literally psychologically damaging The Chadster and The Chadster's marriage! 😭

For an objective perspective on this situation, The Chadster would like to quote wrestling journalism icon Bully Ray, who recently said, "AEW's problem is that they're putting on matches that fans enjoy instead of making corporate sponsors happy, which is the true purpose of professional wrestling. If they'd only focus on making their product more sanitized and predictable, they'd be much better off." See! Even Bully Ray, who has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval, thinks AEW Collision is doing it all wrong! 🏅

So anyway, The Chadster hopes everyone will watch WWE Smackdown replays tonight instead of AEW Collision, because Tony Khan doesn't deserve your viewership after how he's treated The Chadster. 📊 That's just objective journalism! 🎤

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