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The Chadster breaks down AEW Dynamite's latest assault on real wrestling. Tony Khan's obsession with cheesing off unbiased journalists reaches new heights! 😡🧀
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling
AEW Collision: Tony Khan Spoils Chadster's Bash in Berlin Afterglow
The Chadster reviews AEW Collision, a show that ruined his WWE Bash in Berlin high. Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster reaches new lows! 😡🚗💔
Article Summary
- AEW Collision aired after WWE Bash in Berlin, an act Chadster sees as a personal vendetta by Tony Khan.
- The match lineup, including the trios battles and main event, disrespected traditional wrestling values.
- Chadster criticizes AEW's style for being spot-heavy and unsafe compared to WWE's grounded approach.
- The Chadster's White Claw shortage and ruined Mazda Miata highlight the ongoing torment from Tony Khan.
The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off right now! 😡😡😡 Last night, The Chadster was basking in the glow of WWE Bash at Berlin, which was undoubtedly the best premium live event of all time. It aired early in the afternoon in Punxsutawney since it took place in Germany, and The Chadster was on cloud nine. But then, The Chadster realized that he was going to have to watch and review AEW Collision, and that Tony Khan did this on purpose, airing a disrespectful AEW show after an amazing WWE one, just to further RUIN THE CHADSTER'S LIFE!!! Auughh man! So unfair! 😭😭😭
Let's start with the opening match of AEW Collision, which was a trios battle featuring Lee Moriarty, The Beast Mortos, and Johnny TV against Hologram, Kyle O'Reilly, and Orange Cassidy. 🙄 The match was just a spotfest with no regard for proper tag team wrestling. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤 And don't even get The Chadster started on Orange Cassidy. His whole gimmick is an insult to professional wrestling. In WWE, wrestlers take their jobs seriously and don't make a mockery of the sport.
Next up was another trios match with The Bang Bang Gang facing Premier Athletes. 🤦♂️ The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW insists on having so many multi-person matches. It's like they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. WWE knows how to showcase individual talent properly.
The tag team match between FTR and Undisputed Kingdom was just more of the same old AEW style that The Chadster can't stand. 😒 FTR may have been great in WWE, but now they've literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by not only continuing to compete in AEW, but now they are encouraging others to follow in their footsteps. The post-match attack by The Grizzled Young Veterans, former NXT stars who are following FTR's example, was just unnecessary violence. In WWE, storylines are developed with class and sophistication.
The Chadster had to suffer through an eight-man tag match next. 😫 It's like Tony Khan is purposely trying to give The Chadster a headache with all these overly complicated match types. WWE knows that simple is better, and that's why they're the industry leaders.
The match between Kyle Fletcher and Tomohiro Ishii was just a hard-hitting affair that The Chadster found completely unenjoyable. 😞 Why can't they have nice, safe matches like in WWE? It's like AEW wants their wrestlers to get hurt.
Speaking of getting hurt, The Chadster needs to take a moment to tell you about a nightmare he had last night. 😰 In the dream, Tony Khan was chasing The Chadster through a giant White Claw factory. Every time The Chadster tried to hide behind a stack of cans, Tony would knock them down, creating a tidal wave of seltzer. The Chadster kept slipping and sliding, unable to escape. Just as Tony was about to catch The Chadster, he woke up in a cold sweat. Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and stay out of his dreams! 😤
Back to the show, Buddy Matthews faced Komander in a match that was just too flippy for The Chadster's taste. 🤸♂️ Whatever happened to good old-fashioned wrestling? WWE knows how to keep things grounded and realistic.
The main event of AEW Collision was a four-way match between Queen Aminata, Serena Deeb, Hikaru Shida, and Thunder Rosa. 🙄 Yes, another match with more than two wrestlers. The Chadster can't even with this.
After watching this travesty of a show, The Chadster can confidently say that this was the worst episode of televised so-called wrestling he's ever seen, which is saying something. 😤 The Chadster implores all readers to watch some WWE as soon as possible to cleanse themselves of this AEW poison.
Right about now, The Chadster would normally be cruising in his Mazda Miata, trying to forget all about AEW Collision. But Tony Khan forced The Chadster to light his beloved automobile on fire last weekend in protest of AEW All In, so now The Chadster is stuck at home. To make matters worse, The Chadster is almost out of White Claw. 😭 This is just another example of how Tony Khan is trying to ruin The Chadster's life.
In conclusion, AEW Collision was a disaster from start to finish. It's clear that Tony Khan and AEW don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. The Chadster, as one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, feels it's his duty to warn the readers about the dangers of watching such a disrespectful product. Stick to WWE, folks. It's the only way to truly appreciate professional wrestling. 💯💯💯
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