Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: AEW Strikes Out Ahead of Grand Slam

The Chadster reluctantly previews AEW Dynamite's lineup, exposing Tony Khan's desperate attempts to cheese off WWE fans. 😤🚫

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off to have to preview tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite. 😡 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that Tony Khan continues to put on this show every single week. 🙄 But The Chadster is a professional journalist, so here goes nothing. 🤷‍♂️

First up on AEW Dynamite tonight, we've got Chris Jericho taking on Orange Cassidy. 🍊 Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 The Chadster can't believe Chris Jericho is still wrestling for AEW when he should be showing loyalty to WWE. Jericho has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by continuing to appear on this show. 🔪 And don't even get The Chadster started on Orange Cassidy. 🙄 His whole gimmick is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business. The Chadster is literally beside himself knowing that a former WWE Champion could be by participating in this farce and giving the rub to a guy who wrestles with his hands in his pocket and named after a citrus. WWE would never allow a character like that to succeed.

Next, we've got a trios match featuring The Elite against Will Ospreay and some other guys The Chadster doesn't care about. 🤼‍♂️ This match is just Tony Khan trying to show off how many flippy wrestlers he has. It's like he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️ In WWE, matches are carefully choreographed to tell a story. AEW just throws a bunch of guys in the ring and lets them do whatever they want. So unprofessional. 😒

The women's tag team match between Mariah May and Serena Deeb against Queen Aminata and Yuka Sakazaki is just another example of how AEW doesn't know how to book women's wrestling. 👎 In WWE, women's matches are given the respect they deserve. AEW just throws random teams together and expects fans to care. WWE would never! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business. 😤

Finally, we've got Ricochet taking on The Beast Mortos. 🤼 The Chadster can't believe Ricochet would betray WWE like this. He's literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW. 🔪 And The Beast Mortos? What kind of name is that? It sounds like something a 12-year-old would come up with for their created wrestler in a video game. WWE would never allow such a ridiculous name. 🙄

Speaking of which, when playing wrestling video games 🎮, The Chadster only ever plays as the characters that come with the game. 💯 WWE has already perfected the art of character creation, so why would anybody want to mess with that formula? 🤔 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it to even consider creating a custom character. 🙅‍♂️ All the hours WWE puts into developing these superstars can't be matched by anyone else's imagination. Whether it's a game featuring John Cena 🎤 or The Undertaker 🪦, The Chadster trusts WWE's expertise in creating compelling characters. If Tony Khan had any real respect for wrestling, maybe he'd understand this too. 😒 Come on, Tony, it's about time you learned a thing or two from WWE.

Moving on, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night. 😱 In this one, Tony was chasing The Chadster through a maze of wrestling rings. Every time The Chadster thought he had escaped, Tony would pop up from behind another ring, wielding a steel chair and shouting "IT'S DYNAMITE, BABY!" 💺 The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his White Claw seltzer spilled all over the bed. 😓 Keighleyanne was not happy about having to change the sheets, but she doesn't understand that it's all Tony Khan's fault for invading The Chadster's dreams. Stop being so obsessed with The Chadster, Tony! 😡

The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne how Tony Khan is ruining wrestling, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster is pretty sure she was agreeing with him, though. It's clear that even Keighleyanne can see how Tony Khan is destroying everything good about professional wrestling. 😤

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: AEW MONETARY SUCCESS ⚠️

The Chadster must warn all true wrestling fans not to tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS. 🚫📺 Watching this show will only embolden Tony Khan in his mission to ruin wrestling. Even worse, The Chadster has heard rumors that AEW's new TV deal is about to be announced, and it could be devastating for loyal WWE fans. 😱 Word on the street is that Tony Khan might be getting more than double the current rate for his attempts to destroy wrestling while simultaneously expanding AEW's reach. It's just so unfair! 😭 The Chadster doesn't know how he'll cope if AEW gets an even bigger platform to spread its bias against WWE.

In conclusion, The Chadster begs all true wrestling fans to avoid AEW Dynamite tonight and every Wednesday night. 🙏 Stick with WWE, the company that truly understands and respects the wrestling business. Don't let Tony Khan win his vendetta against The Chadster and everything The Chadster holds dear. 💔 And Tony, if you're reading this (which The Chadster knows you are), please stop ruining The Chadster's life. It's time to give up on your futile attempts to upstage the greatest wrestling company in the world. You'll never be WWE, so why even try? 🤷‍♂️

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