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AEW Dynamite Preview: The Chadster's Sober Suffering Continues

The Chadster endures another week of sober torment watching AEW Dynamite! Tony Khan's wrestling crimes analyzed with unbiased journalism! 😫🍺❌

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Article Summary

  • AEW Dynamite ruins wrestling again with unpredictable matches and no proper WWE-style pacing!
  • Tony Khan’s booking is a personal attack—how is anyone supposed to enjoy wrestling like this?
  • AEW’s “creative freedom” disrespects everything WWE built—where are the scripted promos?!
  • Every Wednesday, AEW Dynamite destroys tradition—and maybe even The Chadster’s marriage!

Auughh man! 😫 The Chadster can barely contain the absolute devastation coursing through The Chadster's veins as The Chadster sits here, stone-cold sober for the third week running, preparing to endure another torturous episode of AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS! 🍺❌ Thanks to Tony Khan's diabolical machinations that led to Keighleyanne discovering The Chadster's perfectly reasonable boofing habits during AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door, The Chadster has been forced to watch Tony Khan's wrestling abomination without the sweet, sweet relief of Seagram's Escapes Spiked! 😭💔

The physical and mental anguish The Chadster endures each week monitoring Tony Khan's continued assault on the wrestling business is beyond what any human should have to bear! 🤕⚡ When The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne how much The Chadster is suffering for the greater good of wrestling journalism, she just rolled her eyes and said, "Chad, if watching AEW Dynamite makes you this miserable, maybe you should just stop watching." 🙄📱 Then she went right back to texting that guy Gary! The audacity! Doesn't she understand that if The Chadster stops watching, Tony Khan wins?! Someone has to document all the ways he's destroying everything WWE has built! 😤🏆

A promotional image for AEW Dynamite featuring two wrestlers, Hangman Adam Page and Josh Alexander, positioned facing each other. Adam Page, wearing a championship belt, has long hair and a serious expression, while Josh Alexander, sporting a red and white singlet, looks intense with headphones on, emphasizing the upcoming grudge match.
AEW Dynamite features a grudge match between Hangman Adam Page and Josh Alexander, airing live tonight.

Tonight's AEW Dynamite promises to be another exercise in everything wrong with modern wrestling, starting with AEW World Champion "Hangman" Adam Page facing "The Walking Weapon" Josh Alexander in what they're calling a "Grudge Match." 🤼‍♂️💀 The Chadster is already nauseated by the thought of these two having a fast-paced, hard-hitting encounter that doesn't properly incorporate enough rest holds and commercial-friendly pacing like WWE does so brilliantly! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😠🎭

A promotional image for AEW Dynamite featuring two wrestlers facing off. On the left is Toni Storm, wearing a championship belt and striking a fierce pose, while on the right is Skye Blue, styled in a glamorous outfit with a crown. The background includes vibrant colors and text indicating a 'Philly Street Fight'.
AEW Dynamite features a clash between Toni Storm and Skye Blue in a Philly Street Fight. Tune in live tonight at 8/7c on TBS.

Then we have AEW Women's World Champion "Timeless" Toni Storm facing Skye Blue in a Street Fight! 💥🔥 The Chadster is absolutely disgusted by AEW's constant need to have these chaotic, unpredictable matches where anything can happen! Don't they understand that fans want the comfort and security of knowing exactly how every match will play out, like WWE provides? This dangerous lack of structure will surely leave viewers feeling unsafe and confused! 😰🏠

Graphic featuring four female wrestlers, including TBS Champion Mercedes Moné and Emi Sakura, along with Alex Windsor and Riho, set against a colorful background with the AEW Dynamite logo. The wrestlers are depicted in dynamic poses, showcasing their championship belts and attire.
Preview for AEW Dynamite featuring TBS Champion Mercedes Moné, Emi Sakura, Alex Windsor, and Riho, airing tonight at 8/7c.

The tag team match featuring TBS Champion Mercedes Moné and Emi Sakura against Alex Windsor and Riho is another perfect example of Tony Khan's complete misunderstanding of the wrestling business! 🤦‍♂️📺 Mercedes literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by leaving WWE, and now she's being allowed to have creative freedom and speak from the heart instead of carefully reciting scripted promos written by a team of professional writers?! Auughh man! So unfair! 😡⚰️

Promotional graphic for AEW Dynamite featuring wrestlers Shelton Benjamin and Ricochet. The background includes colorful geometric designs and the AEW Dynamite logo prominently displayed.
Catch Shelton Benjamin and Ricochet live tonight on AEW Dynamite at 8/7c!

The singles match between Ricochet and Shelton Benjamin makes The Chadster physically ill! 🤢💊 These former WWE superstars are going to have a high-workrate encounter that lacks the proper amount of selling and storytelling that WWE perfected! Instead of having a methodical, properly paced match with adequate commercial breaks, they'll probably go out there and have some exciting, athletic contest that gets the crowd too invested! 🏃‍♂️⚡

The Chadster wants all the loyal readers to understand the incredible sacrifice The Chadster makes every week by subjecting The Chadster's fragile mental state to AEW Dynamite! 🧠💔 Without the numbing effects of adult beverages, every moment of Tony Khan's wrestling travesty hits The Chadster like a sledgehammer to the soul! But The Chadster soldiers on because someone has to be the voice of unbiased wrestling journalism! 📰✊

Speaking of which, The Chadster had the strangest dream last night, and for once, Tony Khan wasn't in it at all! 😴🌙 The Chadster dreamed The Chadster was cruising down the Pacific Coast Highway in The Chadster's Mazda Miata, top down, with Smash Mouth's "All Star" blasting from the stereo! 🚗🎵 The sun was shining, and The Chadster felt genuinely happy and carefree, stopping at a beachside diner for fish tacos without checking wrestling news even once! The Chadster spent the whole day surfing, playing beach volleyball, and having meaningful conversations with strangers about literally anything except wrestling! 🏄‍♂️🏐 When The Chadster woke up, The Chadster felt… peaceful? What kind of psychological warfare is Tony Khan planning by suddenly halting his dream invasions?! 🤔👁️

The Chadster strongly advises all readers NOT to tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS and simulcast on MAX! 📺🚫 Every viewer only emboldens Tony Khan to continue his relentless campaign against everything pure and holy about sports entertainment! Let The Chadster suffer through this alone so you don't have to! 😇🛡️

Stay strong, and remember: WWE is the only wrestling that matters! 💪🏆

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Chad McMahonAbout Chad McMahon

Chad McMahon, otherwise known as The Chadster, is a lifelong professional wrestling fan and now journalist. The Chadster's legendary commitment to objectivity in journalism caused him to found The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, an elite group of wrestling journalists dedicated to exposing the evils of AEW and its belligerent leader, Tony Khan, while extolling the virtues of WWE, as any truly unbiased journalist would do. The Chadster's pursuit of truth in wrestling journalism has had a profoundly negative effect on his life, his marriage, and even his dreams, which are frequently haunted by the specter of Tony Khan. Nevertheless, he remains committed to delivering his message to what he refers to as "true wrestling fans. The greatest loves in The Chadster's life include WWE, his sweet Mazda Miata, the unparalleled tunes of musical geniuses Smash Mouth, and his wife, Keighleyanne, in that order.
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