Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: WrestleDreams Lead to WrestleNightmares

Time to brace for Tony Khan's latest attack on wrestling! AEW Dynamite returns with a vengeance, and The Chadster ain't happy! 😡😰

Published Wed, 27 Sep 2023 17:37:07 -0500

by Chad McMahon

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Welcome, true wrestling fans and friends of The Chadster! 😊 Today, The Chadster's got the scoop on the latest abomination from the depths of Tony Khan's billionaire-funded fever dream, AEW Dynamite. Here's what Khan and company have planned this week at the 1st Bank Center in Broomfield, CO. From the looks of it, it looks like they're doing their utmost to cheese The Chadster off and RUIN THE CHADSTER'S LIFE! 😡

Our first mismatch sees Austin Gunn, Matt Jackson, Orange Cassidy, and Penta El Zero Miedo in a Four Way WrestleDream preview. Is Orange Cassidy already cleared following his All Out 2023 match? 🙄 Given how AEW loves to rush its performers, it's clear that they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. Aside from this health concern, the premise of their match also cheeses off The Chadster! Auughh man! So unfair! 😡

We're also going to see Julia Hart from The House of Black square off against Willow Nightingale. Hart, who has been attacking multiple wrestlers lately, will soon compete for the TBS Championship at WrestleDream. To The Chadster, this just seems like another example of how AEW doesn't respect the wrestling business or its performers. It shouldn't be the performance of the wrestler or even the opinion of the fans that earns a title shot. It should be what the marketing department thinks is best. This is why AEW will never be able to compete with WWE. 😰

This week's AEW Dynamite is also mixing things up with a contract signing between Hangman Adam Page and Swerve Strickland. Why does AEW constantly need to play lawyer instead of, you know, focusing on wrestling? Nobody pays to see contracts signed, Tony Khan. 😳

Then we have the ROH Tag Champs address from current champs AEW World Champion MJF and Adam Cole. They're going to defend their ROH World Tag Titles against The Righteous at WrestleDream. And yet, aren't they supposed to be prepping for their title defense instead of making speeches and showboating? Tony Khan is just doing this to try to manipulate people into buying the PPV, and it's just so unfair! 😑

Finally, Jim Ross is going to interview Christian Cage and Darby Allin ahead of their Two Out Of Three Falls match at WrestleDream. Does AEW really put any thought into these things, or do they just hit copy-paste on past WWE ideas and hope it works? 🤔

It's as if AEW are trying to get a rise out of The Chadster with this WrestleDream nonsense. 🙄 Considering Tony Khan's history of invading The Chadster's dreams, this feels like a direct shot at The Chadster. It's clear that Tony Khan has an unhealthy obsession with The Chadster, but he's not going to get away with it. 😤

Just look at what The Chadster has been through in the last week alone. Last Wednesday, Tony Khan was chasing The Chadster up a spiraling staircase in the old house where The Chadster grew up, those overused AEW T-shirts flapping in the wind behind him like bits of empty sports entertainment dreams. Each step leading upwards to an unknown destination. 💭😱

The next night, Tony Khan appeared in The Chadster's dream driving a pirate ship through an ocean of White Claw whilst humming "All Star" by Smash Mouth, a sacrilege to The Chadster's favorite band and drink! 😩 Such a cheap ploy to keep The Chadster up at night. Then came Friday night where Tony Khan organized a wrestling match in a Super Walmart, using discount racks as the audience, relentlessly taunting The Chadster from beside the fresh produce section. 😢

By Saturday, things escalated even further when The Chadster dreamt of being stuck in a life-sized pinball machine with Tony Khan, who was using a giant steel ball with "MJF" written crudely on it. Each violent ricochet sounded so real! 😭 Then Sunday's nightmare took place in an oversized birdcage suspended high above an AEW ring, trapped with a smirking, gloating Tony Khan dressed in exotic bird feathers.🕊️

On Monday, things got more bizarre, when Tony Khan was a leprechaun, luring The Chadster into an enchanted forest with guacamole flavored White Claws. It was a treacherous trick-of-a-treat! 🍀 Finally, last night's dream tops it all off, Tony Khan was on a unicorn, charging at The Chadster through a blizzard of cotton candy in Tony's own WWE-Countering theme park! 🦄

Honestly, isn't it clear by now? Tony Khan is completely obsessed with The Chadster! 😑 You can watch tonight's AEW Dynamite at 8/7C on the TBS channel or AEWPlus.com, but The Chadster really hopes you won't. After all, it's just more of Tony Khan's undying quest to throw WWE under the bus while ruining The Chadster's life and costing him multiple White Claws in the process. 😡 Auughh man! So unfair! 🙁

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