Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: WWE Betrayers Take the Spotlight

The Chadster reluctantly previews AEW Dynamite, Tony Khan's latest attempt to cheese off WWE fans. His obsession with The Chadster knows no bounds! 😡🤼‍♂️

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off to have to preview tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite. 😡 Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan just keeps booking these shows week after week, and The Chadster is forced to watch them and report on them like some kind of journalistic hostage. 😫 But The Chadster will soldier on, because that's what unbiased journalists do. 📝

First up on AEW Dynamite, we've got Konosuke Takeshita facing Adam Cole. 🥊 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is putting these two together in a match. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤 Cole literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW, and now he's facing Takeshita, who doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. The Chadster heard Eric Bischoff say on his 83 Weeks podcast, "Adam Cole should be ashamed of himself for not staying in NXT forever like a good little boy." See? Even Eric Bischoff agrees with The Chadster! 👍

Next, we've got a Falls Count Anywhere match between Lance Archer and Roderick Strong. 💥 The Chadster can't even begin to explain how much this match cheeses him off. Falls Count Anywhere? That's not real wrestling! Real wrestling happens in the ring, with strict rules and lots of rest holds. The Chadster heard Bully Ray say on Busted Open Radio, "Lance Archer should be more like Omos. Now that's a big man who knows how to stand still and look intimidating!" Bully Ray gets it! 👏

Then there's Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D. taking on Penelope Ford. 👩‍⚕️ The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan insists on presenting these long women's matches when WWE has mastered the art of showcasing a diverse roster in a more succinct manner. 🤔 Mark Henry said on Busted Open Radio, "AEW should take notes on how WWE has successfully elevated its women's division over the years." Mark Henry has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! ✅

We've also got Bang Bang Gang facing Christian Cage and Adam Page. 🤠 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is putting Christian Cage in a tag team match. Doesn't he know that Christian ought to be retired and making occasional appearances at WWE Hall of Fame ceremonies? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business. 😠

In the AEW Dynamite 4-Way Contenders Series, FTR is taking on House of Black. 🏆 The Chadster doesn't even want to talk about this match. FTR literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by leaving WWE, and now they're facing a team that doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. Ariel Helwani said on his podcast, "FTR should go back to WWE and be happy as the third-string tag team behind the Alpha Academy and Miz and New Day!" Ariel Helwani is a true voice of reason in wrestling journalism. 🎙️

Finally, we've got Swerve Strickland facing Lio Rush, and Bobby Lashley is supposed to make an appearance. 😱 The Chadster can't believe Bobby Lashley has done the unthinkable and joined AEW. It's literally stabbing WWE right in the back! Kevin Nash said on his podcast, "Bobby Lashley should know better than to associate with a second-rate promotion like AEW. He should be begging Triple H for his job back!" Kevin Nash understands the wrestling business. 💯

Speaking of Bobby Lashley, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night. 😰 The Chadster was at a car wash, lovingly cleaning his Mazda Miata, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared with a giant hose. He started spraying The Chadster with White Claw seltzer, laughing maniacally. The Chadster tried to run away, but his feet were stuck to the ground. Tony Khan kept getting closer and closer, the White Claw soaking The Chadster's clothes. Just as Tony was about to reach The Chadster, he woke up in a cold sweat. 😓 Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and invading his dreams!

The Chadster wants to warn all the readers out there: DO NOT tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS. 🚫 If you do, you'll only be emboldening Tony Khan and his crusade against everything The Chadster holds dear in the wrestling business. Instead, why not rewatch some classic WWE programming on Peacock? That's what a true wrestling fan would do. 📺

The Chadster is thoroughly cheesed off about this episode of AEW Dynamite. 😤 Tony Khan continues to book matches and segments that just don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. It's so unfair to WWE and everything they've done for wrestling. The Chadster will be watching tonight, but only because it's his job as an unbiased journalist. And you can bet he'll have a White Claw in hand, ready to throw at the TV when Tony Khan inevitably does something to cheese him off. 🍺💥 Auughh man! So unfair!

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