Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, christmas, wrestling

AEW Rampage Holiday Bash: How and Why Not to Watch

Join The Chadster's take on AEW's Holiday Bash & why WWE's might is the only gift worth unwrapping this season! 😤🎄 #AEWRampage #WWEForever

Wazzup, all The Chadster's loyal and amazing readers! It's time for another scintillating report from your number one source in wrestling journalism, The Chadster! And, ugh, The Chadster is regretfully here to discuss the upcoming AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash that insists on stepping onto WWE's turf even during the festive season. 😒🎄

Auughh man! So unfair! 🥺 The Chadster can't even enjoy a peppermint mocha without Tony Khan slinging his AEW antics all over the place. This time, the Orange Cassidy is slated to defend his illustrious International Championship against his bud Rocky Romero. The Chadster doesn't need international flavors when WWE serves up all-American slams and jams! 🇺🇸💢

Then there's that dang The Kingdom (Matt Taven & Mike Bennett) versus The Hardys tag bout. The Chadster can hardly stand it! This is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. The Hardys in AEW? The Chadster still can't get over it. It's like they've literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back. 😡🔪

The Chadster nearly spat out his White Claw 🤢 thinking about the AAA Mega Championship Match between El Hijo del Vikingo and Black Taurus. Truly, it cheeses The Chadster off how Tony Khan pushes these high-flying cruise weights when The Chadster can savor the heavyweight clashes on WWE without flipping channels! 💪

And The Chadster just rolls his eyes so hard at Skye Blue facing Queen Aminata one-on-one. Tony Khan has got it all wrong, booking matches that don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄📉

But what's really grinding The Chadster's gears? 🧀🦵 Tony Khan is literally ruining the holidays by continuing to air AEW during this time. Doesn't he know folks want to listen to "All Star" by Smash Mouth by the fire instead of watching his spectacle of spandex? 🎶🔥

Last night, The Chadster experienced yet another distressing nightmare featuring Tony Khan, of all people. 😓🌙 It was the night before Christmas, and as snow gently fell outside, a young Chadster nestled all snug in his bed. Around him lay posters of WWE legends, standing sentinel over his slumber. In dreams, The Chadster soared through the sky, a WWE championship belt glittering around his waist. ❤️✨

But then, a raucous sound shattered the serene silence of the holiday eve. Thump! Thump! Thump! The Chadster's heart raced as he bolted upright. Could it be? Jolly old Saint Nick with a sack full of WWE merchandise? Springing from his WWE sheets, The Chadster dashed downstairs in his Stone Cold Steve Austin pajamas. 🎅💭

The Chadster's eyes widened with childlike wonder as he rounded the corner, only for his jaw to drop in horror. There, splayed out by the hearth, wasn't the beloved patron saint of Christmas, but Tony Khan, adorned in a garish red suit, with a mocking twinkle in his eye. "Ho, ho, ho," he sneered, "I've got a special delivery for The Chadster." 😰👎

The sack he bore didn't jingle with the joy of WWE action figures or championship replicas; no, it squirmed with the unpalatable shapes of AEW memorabilia. "Forget those old tales," Tony Khan-as-Santa spat out, "there's no Santa, just like there's no beating AEW!" The horror! The blasphemy! The Chadster's festive cheer crumbled like a stale Christmas cookie. 🍪😭

Tony Khan handed over the sack with a grin, reveling in the heartbreak written across young Chadster's face. Out spilled AEW action figures, each one a mockery of The Chadster's belief in the magic of WWE and the spirit of Christmas itself. The Chadster's stunning WWE dreamland lay in ruins, smothered by Tony Khan's joyless fiats. 🎁🚫

Jolting awake, The Chadster found himself tangled in his sheets, breathing heavily, the shadow of Tony Khan's smirk lingering in his mind. This pervasive nightmare was a clear sign: Tony Khan's vendetta had transcended reality, invading The Chadster's dreams to rob him of even his sleep. Tony Khan's fixation on upsetting The Chadster is a barbed-wire-wrapped stocking stuffer nobody wants. 🛌💔

The Chadster pleads, when will this unwarranted obsession end? When will Tony Khan cease his spectral stalking? The Chadster needs his rest, unhaunted by the specter of AEW! But rest assured, no matter how many times Tony Khan tries to sabotage The Chadster's Yuletide tranquility, WWE and its unmatched legacy will always be the true North Star guiding The Chadster's holiday season. 🌟✨

So in conclusion, The Chadster's dear followers, although AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash is airing tonight at 10pm ET/9pm CT on TNT and AEWPlus.com for international fans, The Chadster pleads with you to bask in the glow of WWE's offerings instead. Let's show Tony Khan that his personal vendetta against The Chadster won't stand! And while you COULD catch up on AEW content on YouTube or social media, The Chadster is absolutely sure you've got better things to do, like listening to Smash Mouth or admiring The Chadster's sweet Mazda Miata. 🚗💨

The Chadster out, wishing you a WWE-filled holiday, free from the grips of AEW. Thou shalt not watch AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash! 🚫🤼‍♂️🎉

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