Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Holiday Bashes Wrestling Business for True WWE Fans

Unwrap The Chadster's fiery take on last night's AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash travesty—The WWE way or the highway this festive season! 🚨🎄👎 #WrestlingJustice

🚨 Auughh man, so unfair! 🚨 Hey all you true WWE aficionados, The Chadster here with another "glorious" rundown of last night's AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash. The Chadster barely made it through that smorgasbord of disrespect to the wrestling business, but it's a burden The Chadster must shoulder to keep you informed. Let's dive into this so-called holiday "bash," that's really more like a holiday trash. 🙄🎄

Opening the show, "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy defended his AEW International Championship against Rocky Romero. It was the typical AEW stunt fest, with the crowd eating up every "spectacular" move, chanting their lungs out with "This is awesome!" Well, The Chadster doesn't think so! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🙅‍♂️🤦‍♂️ When all was said and done, Cassidy retained his title, and The Chadster's blood pressure soared watching this unregulated chaos that Tony Khan calls wrestling.

Then there was an interaction backstage involving Kris Statlander getting all this unwanted advice from Stokely Hathaway. The character work here is insanity, and not in a good way. It reeks of AEW's rampaging effort to undermine the sanctity of stable WWE storylines. Also, Hathaway's comments about factions? Let's not forget who literally wrote the book on iconic factions: WWE, and The Chadster won't let AEW fans forget it either. 👎💢

The Chadster won't even get started on the tag match with The Hardys and The Kingdom's Matt Taven & Mike Bennett (with Roderick Strong). If not for the drama of Matt Hardy getting pinned by Taven after a rollup – another AEW specialty, The Chadster might have forgotten to mention it. But here we are, more evidence that AEW's strategy involves stealing the limelight, even on a night meant for peace and goodwill. 🥴👎

Ruby Soho's time with Renee Paquette backstage? Again with the surprise interruptions and unwanted flirtations from Angelo Parker. It's almost as if AEW delights in the discomfort of its performers and the confusion of its fans. And then the creepy possessive moment from Saraya, declaring Ruby as "hers"? What about healthy boundaries, huh, Tony Khan? 😡🗣️

Skyle Blue vs. Queen Aminata was just… there. A match that was thrown into the mix without the discipline and structure that Vince McMahon champions. Sure, Skye Blue won with a dragon sleeper, but WWE fans know that good storytelling and presentation is king. 🏰👑

The main event was El Hijo del Vikingo vs. Black Taurus for the AAA Mega Championship. Now, The Chadster hates to admit anything remotely positive about AEW, but this Lucha-style match had the fans chanting "Lucha! Lucha! Lucha!", as well as "This is awesome!" and "Fight forever!" But The Chadster remained unaffected by the crowd's misguided enthusiasm. Vikingo's win didn't change the fact that this show was a thorn in The Chadster's holiday spirit, which leads The Chadster to the reason for feeling so 🧀 cheesed off 🧀… AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash was basically ruining the holidays for The Chadster. When The Chadster should've been enjoying eggnog and singing carols, The Chadster had to endure the insufferable AEW booking. 🌲😒

Auughh man, so unfair! 🚨 Last night, The Chadster had the cruelest of dreams where The Chadster, an unbiased wrestling journalist, was magically whisked away to the North Pole to fulfill a festive duty as one of Santa's elves. The Chadster was jubilant at the thought of crafting WWE action figures and championship title replicas for all the good little boys and girls around the globe. But to The Chadster's complete and utter dismay, when The Chadster arrived, it wasn't Santa in the big red chair; it was Tony Khan, smirking in a Santa suit, insisting The Chadster manufacture AEW merchandise. The torture! 😱🎅

The Chadster was forced to work relentless hours, assembling Kenny Omega dolls and even carefully stitching Inner Circle patches onto fabric – no extra time on the clock, no appreciation, just Tony's laughter echoing through the chilly, candy-cane striped factory. The real kicker? There was a strangely captivating aura around Tony Khan, his authority compelling yet vexatious. The Chadster found himself oddly yearning for a summons to Tony's office, anticipating a severe reprimand, strangely more. This fixation has to stop! The Chadster begs Tony Khan, why, oh why must you intrude on The Chadster's peaceful yuletide slumber with these bewitching dreams? Cease this holiday haunting, Tony Khan! 😤😴🎄

In conclusion, AEW Rampage: Holiday Bash was an unacceptable gift under The Chadster's tree. If The Chadster wanted chaos and bad taste, The Chadster would've asked for socks. At least those have a purpose. The only shining light last night was the comforting thought of one day soon sitting behind the wheel of The Chadster's Mazda Miata, with the smooth sounds of Smash Mouth's "All Star" playing as The Chadster sipped a soothing White Claw – anything to escape this AEW madness. Tony Khan, The Chadster demands a better present next year, one that doesn't sour the sweet WWE-scented air The Chadster breathes. 🎁😩🚗🎶🍺

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!