Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage: How Tony Khan Got The Chadster Banned from IHOP

Discover why The Chadster's IHOP ban and Tony Khan's latest antics on AEW Rampage have stirred up a pancake-sized storm in the world of wrestling! 🥞😠🤼

Hey there, wrestling aficionados! The Chadster here with the latest scoop on what went down on AEW Rampage. Let The Chadster tell you, it was a night that really cheesed off The Chadster. You'd think by now that AEW would start showing some respect to the wrestling business, but nope, they just keep on disrespecting everything WWE has ever done for it.

First up, we had a six-man tag with Orange Cassidy and The Von Erichs facing off against Daddy Magic, Cool Hand Ang, and Jake Hager. Man, the match was chaos with a capital 'C'. Even though the action was nonstop, it just didn't have that WWE polish The Chadster craves. When The Von Erichs pulled off some great teamwork, The Chadster couldn't help but groan. Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 And Orange Cassidy? His whole 'too cool to care' shtick is literally the opposite of what wrestling should be about. 🙄 When Marshall Von Erich scored the win with a reversal rollup on Parker, The Chadster wasn't cheering; this isn't how you build legends.

Then, Powerhouse Hobbs and Konosuke Takeshita squared off against Hunter Grey and Paul Titan. Hobbs and Takeshita ended it quickly, which is something The Chadster might normally appreciate, except it's AEW so it's obviously not as good as WWE. 💢 It's like they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😤

The women's match with Anna Jay and Red Velvet was even more aggravating. Velvet showed off some body blows, but then Anna pulled the widow's peak followed by Daddy Magic coming down to the ring (dang interference! 😠) leading to Anna winning with the queenslayer. Unbelievable! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

And then, the tag match: Penta El Zero Miedo, Komander, and El Hijo Del Vikingo vs. Top Flight and Action Andretti. The high-flying moves were excessive. The sequence of superkicks, clotheslines, and kip-ups might make the crowd pop, but they looked like they were trying too hard to outdo each other. 🤦‍♂️ When Dante spiked for the win, The Chadster just about had enough. Every high-flying move felt like a slap in the face to WWE's storytelling style. 😒

Last night, after The Chadster finished watching AEW Rampage, The Chadster was cheesed off more than ever. 😡 The nonsensical high spots and disregard for solid ring psychology seemed almost custom-designed to irk The Chadster. And it wasn't just The Chadster's professional sensibilities that suffered—no, Tony Khan's diabolical booking had a deeply personal impact too. 🤯 This morning, The Chadster went to grab some breakfast with Keighleyanne at the neighborhood IHOP, hoping to find solace in a warm short stack. But as fate would have it, the misery followed The Chadster right to the breakfast table. 😢

Sitting there, ready to dig in, The Chadster's pancakes arrived—and the sight nearly caused The Chadster to have a meltdown. 🤬 Each flapjack was a spitting image of Tony Khan's noggin, and there, crisply defined in chocolate chips, was the egregious AEW logo, mocking The Chadster utterly and completely. Keighleyanne, bless her, she tried to soothe The Chadster's frayed nerves as The Chadster felt the bile rising. But no, enough was enough! The Chadster stormed into the kitchen, a blaze of righteous anger, demanding an audience with the mastermind of this juvenile prank—Tony Khan himself. 😠

The clamor in the kitchen rose to a crescendo as the baffled staff tried to wrestle The Chadster back to civility, pleading that no Tony Khan was there. As The Chadster was being manhandled toward the exit, The Chadster caught a glimpse of the AEW puppet master, slinking away through the back door, a smirk on his face and satisfaction in his escape. 😤 The Chadster, incensed beyond reason, demanded to speak with the manager, issuing a tirade about the indecency of allowing customers to be subjected to such targeted harassment! But all that got The Chadster was a lifetime ban from that IHOP—oh, the injustice! 😩

In a state of utter disarray, The Chadster and Keighleyanne returned to The Chadster's Mazda Miata, only to find that Tony Khan's audacity knew no bounds. Tucked beneath the windshield wiper was a note, as infuriating as it was explicit in its intent: "I hope you enjoyed AEW Rampage last night, Chad." That guy Gary could be texted later, Keighleyanne; this was a clear act of war from Tony Khan! Auughh man! So unfair! 😠💔

So, to summarize, this week's AEW Rampage was an exercise in frustration. A display of how far Tony Khan will go to get under The Chadster's skin. The matches felt like they were directed at The Chadster, and no amount of post-show White Claw can wash away the cheesed-off feeling left by AEW's continued efforts to topple the sanctity of WWE's wrestling. 🤬

The Chadster's had it up to here with AEW's antics, and let him tell you, The Chadster's going to keep holding the torch for genuine, quality wrestling like WWE delivers week in and week out. WWE is the epitome of wrestling excellence, and not even Tony Khan's petty provocations can change that. So stand with The Chadster as he continues to fight the good fight for what's right in the wrestling world.

As for The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club colleagues Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger—who The Chadster wonders if they also bear the brunt of Tony Khan's bizarre obtrusions—The Chadster hopes they haven't had their Sundays ruined by gimmicky pancake art and parking lot messages. Unbiased journalism will persevere, folks. 🖋️✨

Till next time, this is The Chadster, signing off! 🎤 Keep it real, keep it WWE!

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