Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage Preview: The Chadster Absolutely Did Not Wet the Bed

The Chadster reveals Tony Khan's latest plot to cheese off WWE fans with AEW Rampage. Don't miss this unbiased exposé of AEW's disrespect to wrestling! 😡🚫

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off right now! 😡😡😡 Not only does The Chadster have to preview tonight's episode of AEW Rampage, but The Chadster's own brother, Brad McMahon, has been writing positive pieces about AEW here at Bleeding Cool! And don't even get The Chadster started on that lunatic El Presidente! 😤 It's clear to The Chadster that both of them are suffering from horrific anti-WWE bias. The Chadster promises that Bleeding Cool will do better in the future. 🙏

Now, onto the task at hand. The Chadster has to preview tonight's episode of AEW Rampage, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😠 Tony Khan thinks he can just put on a show every Friday night and compete with WWE's legacy? Auughh man! So unfair!

First up on AEW Rampage, we've got a trios match featuring The Conglomeration (ROH World Champion Mark Briscoe, Kyle O'Reilly, and Tomohiro Ishii) against Brian Cage, Johnny TV, and The Beast Mortos. 🙄 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is trying to make trios matches a thing. Everyone knows that real wrestling only has tag team matches! This is just another example of how Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

Next, we've got Roderick Strong facing off against Fuego Del Sol. 😒 The Chadster can't help but feel like Roderick Strong has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by continuing to wrestle AEW, knowing how badly Triple H is probably hurting over this decision. It's like he forgot everything WWE did for him! And don't even get The Chadster started on Fuego Del Sol. What kind of name is that anyway? 🤔

Then there's a women's match between Mina Shirakawa and Robyn Renegade. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster is sure this won't hold a candle to the women's matches in WWE. Tony Khan probably thinks he's being so progressive by having women's matches, but WWE has been doing it better for years!

There's also a tag team match with The Von Erichs facing The Outrunners. 😑 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is trying to capitalize on the Von Erich name. It's just another example of how AEW is always trying to leech off of wrestling history that rightfully belongs to WWE.

Finally, there's another tag team match between Gates of Agony and Iron Savages. 🙄 The Chadster is sure this will just be a bunch of big guys throwing each other around with no regard for proper wrestling technique. It's matches like these that make The Chadster want to throw his White Claw seltzer at the TV!

Speaking of White Claw, The Chadster had another one of those Tony Khan nightmares last night. 😰 The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata, minding his own business, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the passenger seat! He was holding a can of White Claw and singing "All Star" by Smash Mouth at the top of his lungs. The Chadster tried to escape, but every time The Chadster looked at the road, it had turned into a wrestling ring, and the Miata bounced off the ropes and started going in the opposite direction! Tony Khan just laughed and kept singing. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his White Claw spilled all over the bed. Of course, when The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne why the sheets were wet, she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 😢 This is all Tony Khan's fault! Now The Chadster's wife thinks The Chadster has wet the bed!

The Chadster cannot stress this enough: DO NOT tune into AEW Rampage tonight at 10/9C on TNT! 🚫📺 If you do, you'll only be emboldening Tony Khan and his crusade against WWE. This is more important than ever with AEW trying to upstage WWE with their stupid All In London PPV this weekend. 😤

The Chadster truly believes that what Tony Khan is doing is nothing short of a crime against humanity. 🌎 He should be prosecuted for his blatant disregard for the sanctity of professional wrestling as established by WWE. The Chadster demands justice! ⚖️

AEW Rampage is just another example of how Tony Khan is trying to ruin The Chadster's life. 😭 The Chadster only hopes that true, unbiased journalists like Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger are also speaking out against this travesty. The Chadster wonders if they too suffer from Tony Khan's torment for their commitment to objective journalism. 🤔

Remember, watching AEW Rampage is like literally stabbing Triple H right in the back. Don't do it! 🙅‍♂️ Instead, why not rewatch some classic WWE matches? That's what The Chadster will be doing, probably while driving around in his Mazda Miata and listening to Smash Mouth. It's the only way The Chadster can cope with the pain Tony Khan has caused him. 😔🚗🎵

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