Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Review: Utterly Destroyed by WWE SmackDown

The Chadster rants about AEW Rampage's disrespect to WWE, trying to outshine a stellar episode of WWE SmackDown. It's an unsanctioned mess! 🤬🚫

Hey there all you wrestling fans out there, it's The Chadster here coming at ya with the latest report, and boy, does The Chadster have some words about last night's AEW Rampage. If The Chadster's devoted readers were looking for a night full of sanity and respect for the wrestling industry, they sure didn't find it on Rampage. Auughh man! So unfair! While there could have been a perfectly wonderful evening just basking in the afterglow of WWE's glorious SmackDown, AEW had to go and ruin it with their shenanigans. 🤬🚫

Opening the gates of wrestling mayhem was the Trios match featuring Mark Briscoe & The Hardys—Jeff & Matt tagging against Kip Sabian, The Butcher, &  The Blade. The Hardys battling like they're still in their backyard 🏡—a total slap in the face to the well-oiled sports-entertainment product Vince McMahon has perfected. Watching Butcher chew on Matt Hardy's head, The Chadster felt a piece of the wrestling business' heart getting nibbled away. It was outrageous! And Mark Briscoe's so-called redneck Kungfu? The Chadster has seen better choreography at a high school talent show. 🎭

In a promo segment, Renee Paquette shared some quality time with Chris Jericho and Sammy Guevara, with Sammy spewing some nonsense about being the best ever and Jericho threatening poor Big Bill with proverbial axes. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. The Chadster thinks they need a reality check about what true wrestling promos should look like. 🧐

The female tag team scene had a showcase with Kris Statlander & Willow Nightingale battling it out against Notorious Mimi & Kennedi Hardcastle. Auughh man! So unfair! Is The Chadster seriously expected to get behind such an underwhelming performance? While Stokely Hathaway's biased introductions had The Chadster seething, Kris and Willow's effort to dominate was as harmonious as Smash Mouth's "All Star" hitting the charts. But unlike the chart-topping hit, this match fell flat, with its chaotic energy failing to embody the discipline and splendor of WWE's women's division. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🎤👎 Willow's spinebuster got them the win, but the only thing it crushed was The Chadster's hope for a decent match. 🧨😖

Meanwhile backstage, Renee Paquette's interview with the iconic Hardy brothers – Matt and Jeff Hardy – should've been a comforting return to form. But no, leave it to AEW to sour the moment as Private Party interrupted the nostalgia, steering it straight into the bizarre AEW narrative. Instead of honoring their WWE legacy, Matt Hardy proceeded to hand out worn Hardy t-shirts like consolation prizes, leaving The Chadster to question where loyalty really lies. When Quen said he wanted to kick their tails, it was a literal stab in the back for Vince McMahon and everything he's built. They've taken mentorship and twisted it into a mockery of its former WWE glory. It's crystal clear that once again, Tony Khan and AEW don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😡🚫

The Chadster just can't even with the audacity of Anna Jay stating this year is going to be hers. As if! The moment she faced off with Hikaru Shida, any illusion of grandeur just shattered. It's like they don't even bother to take notes from the actual legends in WWE. Instead, there goes AEW, trampling on dreams and warping the minds of those who could've shined under Vince McMahon's genius spotlight. 🚫👎

And The Chadster must mention the laughable scenario where Jeff Jarrett called Jay Lethal a loser in a backstage meeting of their faction. The Chadster couldn't help but giggle, considering Jarrett is the biggest loser of all for joining AEW in the first place, stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back. 🗡️💔

Wrapping up this cheese-fest was the ROH Pure Championship match. Wheeler Yuta vs. Komander—what a joke! Seeing Yuta with his wrist locks and double wristlocks made The Chadster want to lock his TV away for good. Komander, on the other hand, used up all his rope breaks like somebody using their last lifeline on a quiz show. Yuta's victory? A cherry on top of a non-compliant sundae. 🍒

Auughh man! You know, it's like Tony Khan is trying to single-handedly undermine everything that makes WWE superior. 🤦‍♂️ And speaking of Khan's vendetta, The Chadster had another one of those blasted recurring nightmares last night. The Chadster, a vulnerable baby duckling, just wanted to join in and swim in this pond of wrestling bliss. Here comes Tony Khan, as an imposing mother swan, swimming around with his AEW baby swans, taunting me with their elitist backstrokes. The Chadster was shunned, left to float alone. 😭🦆

It's time to set the record straight — The Chadster would rather paddle in Vince McMahon's pond over Tony Khan's any day of the week! Tony, The Chadster warns you, stay out of his dreams. It's already enough that you're messing with his reality; you don't need to wade through his subconscious too! 🚫💤

In conclusion, AEW Rampage was nothing short of an attack on the fundamentals of WWE—the sanctity of wrestling itself. The Chadster hopes his readers can see the disrespect AEW continually dishes out to the industry. Every week, it's like they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄

Stay true, dear fans, and remember, no matter the chaos AEW stirs up, The Chadster will be right here, fighting the good fight with the truth and nothing but the truth about wrestling. Till next time, keep slamming! 💪🎙️

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