Posted in: ABC, AMC, CBS, CW, Fox, FX, NBC, Opinion, SYFY, TBS, TNT, TV, TV, USA Network | Tagged: ads, bleeding cool, cable, cars, cologne, commercials, father's day, opinion, perfume, streaming, super bowl, television, tv

Commercials That Make Our Heads Hurt; Our Best Super Bowl Ad Pick

As someone with a whole lot of cable options and not always a streaming option, guess what I get a lot of? Commercials- those things that keep us from our favorite shows and movies… one of those pain-in-the-arse things that bond us together. Except for when it is Super Bowl season, in which case the commercials usually end up saving the day. Otherwise, I am always reminded of how many ads we get fed on a regular basis, reminding us of the supposed life we all should be living and the things we should have, and how we are not complete until we do. You can always count on commercials to make you feel just self-conscious enough about our lives that we will be willing to drop a few bucks to "make it better."

To be fair, there are quite a few special ones that hit your heart the right way even though they are selling us something. Budweiser has a long history of making us feel more than we wanted or expected to during previous Super Bowls. That "Brotherhood" commercial where the horse remembers his human and gallops all the way to him after the parade? A serious tear-jerker. Don't believe me? Check it out below:

While commercials can make us laugh and feel, they also can get under our skin. Today I want to discuss a few commercial archetypes that never cease to inspire a whole lot of feelings… and none of them good. Quite the opposite, actually. It starts with multiple questions and leads into fiery, passionate anger that can be hard to put into words sometimes. So here are some of the usual suspects:

Colognes/Perfumes: If you want to see me rant for hours just put on a perfume or cologne commercial. I do not know what all these big brands are trying to tell me by having Jennifer Lawrence, Julia Roberts, or Charlize Theron frolic about wearing expensive gowns while their faces seem to battle between bliss and diarrhea. Here is a thought- how about actually telling us how your product smells? They should take a page from one of those old Axe commercials- like the one where the angels take of their halos for the guy who just sprayed. Cheesy smell it may be, but the commercial worked on the level of giving me a sense of what I should be expecting.

Father's Day: Because nothing says "I love you" more than a box of tools. Because the one thing all dads want to do is spend their special day being reminded that they are only there to fix someone else's s**t. And yes, it makes me equally angry when mothers get pots and pans- like yes, all I want to do for my day is cook for y'all beasts- but that is beside the point. There is also that other Father's Day commercial recipe where they flash forward years ahead and their baby girl's leaving the nest. Nice, right? Congrats, dad- you get heartbreaks and tools on your special day. Yay…?

Cars: I understand the basic concept behind a car is that it takes you from Point A to Point B- essentially, a journey. What buying a car is not is a metaphor for life's journey. How about selling me more on how safe and comfortable is it is more than bland stories of kids leaving their families (like the Father's Day example above) or superstars giving me some BS about their life's philosophy in comparison to the car they're shilling for (Matthew McConaughey and Jeremy Renner's concert). Oh, and one last thing? Stop with the "cars for Christmas" crap, please? Life's filled with enough unrealistic expectations as it is.

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