Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, dynamite, wrestling
Five Ways AEW Dynamite Tonight Will Ruin The Country of Canada
The Chadster has always had a love/hate relationship with Canada. Though the country has produced some great wrestling legends, like WWE Hall-of-Famer Bret "The Hitman" Hart, it has also produced some people who don't understand the first thing about the wrestling business (or else why would they be working for AEW), like Chris Jericho and Kenny Omega. Not to mention, some former WWE stars basically stabbed Vince McMahon in the back by posthumously signing with AEW, such as Owen Hart. On the other hand, a lot of great wrestling events have taken place in Canada, like Survivor Series 1997 and WrestleMania X8. But then, Canada was one of the places that originated cheering for the wrong wrestlers instead of the ones WWE wants you to cheer for, which is one of the most annoying things about the wrestling business today. Even so, The Chadster is generally a big fan our neighbor to the North… or, at least, he was, until tonight, thanks to AEW Dynamite.
AEW Dynamite is taking place in Toronto tonight, which is just a massive betrayal of WWE and all the decades they've invested in bringing the sport of pro wrestling to the Canadian people. And The Chadster couldn't possibly be more cheesed off about it. The Chadster would lock himself in the garage with his Mazda Miata and a four-pack of White Claw Seltzer if he didn't have a job to do, a job assigned to The Chadster by his editor, Ray Flook, as part of Ray's collusion with AEW owner Tony Khan's ultimate goal to RUIN THE CHADSTER'S LIFE!
A quick search of the AEW website shows that there are AEW Dynamite tickets still available for tonight's show, which means that AEW is FAILING in their quest to put WWE out of business. And The Chadster knows why: it's because AEW is just not as good as WWE.
Now, The Chadster knows that some people say that he is not the most objective person when it comes to AEW vs WWE. It's true, The Chadster does love WWE and also that The Chadster has been personally targeted by Tony Khan for several years, and that The Chadster has been rendered completely sexually impotent by AEW's extremely unfair competition against The Chadster's beloved WWE. But The Chadster is also a wrestling journalist, which means that The Chadster has to be objective, even if it's hard. That's why you know The Chadster is simply telling the honest, unbiased truth when he says that AEW is just not as good as WWE.
The Chadster could go on and on about how AEW is inferior to WWE in every way, but The Chadster won't do that, because The Chadster knows that AEW fans will just dismiss anything The Chadster says as being biased. So instead, The Chadster will just say this: if you're a wrestling fan in Canada, do yourself a favor and don't watch AEW Dynamite tonight. You're better off watching WWE programming on the WWE Network. Trust The Chadster on this one, because The Chadster knows what he's talking about. AEW Dynamite tonight is going to be a complete and utter disaster, and The Chadster doesn't want any innocent Canadian wrestling fans to get caught up in the madness.
That said, The Chadster is contractually obligated to tell you what AEW has planned for tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite, so here's the lineup. "Lionheart" Chris Jericho will put the ROH World Championship on the line against former ROH World Champion "The American Dragon" Bryan Danielson! "Daddy Ass" Billy Gunn, who so disrespectfully no-showed the DX reunion on Raw this week, will face Swerve Strickland. "Jungle Boy" Jack Perry will battle his former friend, Luchasaurus. Pac will defend the All-Atlantic Championship against his rival, Orange Cassidy. And AEW Interim Women's World Champion Toni Storm will team with Hikaru Shida to take on Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D. and Jamie Hayter.
It all happens tonight at 8/7C on TBS, but if you care about The Chadster at all, you won't tune in. AEW is just not worth it, especially when WWE programming is so much better. AEW will never be as good as WWE, and tonight's AEW Dynamite show in Toronto is just further proof of that. So please, for The Chadster's sake, don't watch AEW Dynamite tonight.
Now, here are some unsolicited pics AEW sent The Chadster to harass him: