Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, Rampage, recaps, wrestling

Four Ways AEW Rampage RUINED THE CHADSTER'S LIFE This Week

It finally happened! The Chadster has received a promotion! The Chadster's editor, the devious Ray Flook who is in cahoots with Tony Khan to make The Chadster's life absolutely miserable, has been forced to give The Chadster a promotion. It turns out that The Chadster's insightful and unbiased take on how WWE is the best and AEW is trying to ruin everything is performing very well for Bleeding Cool, so The Chadster has been promoted from AEW Rampage preview writer to AEW Rampage listicle recapper. The position doesn't technically come with a pay raise, and it also forces The Chadster to write more about AEW, which is the source of The Chadster's ongoing sexual impotence, but The Chadster doesn't mind if it gives him more opportunities to being a little bit of objectivity to the wrestling industry by providing his clearly unbiased takes on AEW. No one in wrestling journalism is as unbiased as The Chadster… with the possible exception of Ryan Satin, who is also alright.

Four Segments from AEW RAmpage on September 30th, 2022 That RUINED THE CHADSTER'S LIFE

AEW Rampage this week featured four matches, and by coincidence, that's also the same number of ways that Rampage ruined The Chadster's life. It's almost like Tony Khan is going out of his way to torture The Chadster. Oh, right. That's because he is.

The Acclaimed Retain the Tag Team Championships on AEW Rampage

Nothing cheeses The Chadster off more than The Acclaimed. First of all, their choice of music — humorous rap — is just so inferior to the stuff that The Chadster listens to, which is mainly Smashmouth playing on the tape deck in The Chadster's Mazda Miata while The Chadster chugs White Claw seltzer alone in the garage when Keighleyanne is inside texting with that guy Gary. But The Chadster also doesn't appreciate their references to scissoring, which The Chadster just doesn't get, or their extremely disrespectful popularity with the crowd. So of course, The Acclaimed defeated not one but two teams on AEW Rampage last night to retain their titles: Private Party and The Butcher and The Blade.

Lee Moriarity Defeats Fuego Del Sol

Lee Moriarity got a win over Fuego Del Sol in a squash match on AEW Rampage last night. After the match, W. Morrisey joined in to beat down Del Sol. The Chadster hates squash matches on AEW because it helps people get over, which is the last thing AEW should be doing because it will just prolong their defiance of WWE as the one true wrestling company. But that just goes to show that Tony Khan has absolutely zero respect for the wrestling business and everything Triple H has done for it.

Jamie Hayter Defeats Willow Nightingale on AEW Rampage

Speaking of people getting over, Jamie Hayter, who is a huge crowd favorite in AEW, got the win over Willow Nightingale on Rampage last night. This is only going to serve to make the crowd love Hayter more, which just proves that Tony Khan doesn't understand the first thing about wrestling. When the crowd cheers for someone you aren't trying to push, the thing to do is punish that person for getting over without your permission. Vince McMahon truly understood that, and it's just so disrespectful of Tony Khan to go against what he taught us by giving Jamie Hayter a push. Hopefully, he realizes the error of his ways before it's too late, but The Chadster isn't holding his breath.

Rush Defeats John Silver

In the main event of AEW Rampage this week, Rush defeated John Silver of the Dark Order. After the match, La Faccion Ingobernable went for the beatdown, leading to a confrontation between them and Dark Order with Hangman Adam Page. On the one hand, The Chadster kinda likes Hangman Adam Page because he forced CM Punk out of AEW and ruined the company's momentum by making Punk obsessed with vague shoot comments he made in a promo months ago, but on the other hand, Page is also a favorite of AEW fans, which totally cheeses The Chadster off. This makes The Chadster feel conflicted, which only makes his sexual impotence even worse. Auughh man! So unfair!

Next Week on AEW Rampage

Next week on AEW Rampage, Andrade will face Dark Order's 10 in a career vs. mask match. The Chadster is hoping that Andrade loses so he can go back to WWE where he will finally be treated fairly, but The Chadster fears he will win, which will just go to show he never deserved to be in WWE in the first place.

Battle of the Belts will also air live after Rampage next week, which is another thing The Chadster consider to be just so unfair.

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