Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, dynamite, wrestling

Here's How AEW Plans to Ruin Groundhog Day With AEW Dynamite

For proud residents of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, like The Chadster, there is no holiday more beloved, more sacred, and dare The Chadster say, more erotic than Groundhog Day. Yes, February 2nd would normally be a day for celebration, and The Chadster's beautiful wife, Keighleyanne, would be in for the night of her life. However, thanks to Tony Khan and his insistence on personally attacking The Chadster with his wrestling booking, tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite will ensure at least another six weeks of sexual impotence for The Chadster as his own Little Punxsutawney Phil goes running back into its den in fear of the shadow of an entertaining episode of wrestling television that is just so disrespectful to WWE. Auughh man! So unfair!

Just take a look at all the ways Tony Khan has personally targeted The Chadster to ruin The Chadster's life with AEW Dynamite tonight:

What is AEW playing at with this match? First of all, Tony Khan takes guys like Pac and Black, who Vince McMahon clearly told us are no good, and makes them into starts in AEW? How disrespectful is that to WWE and everything they've ever done for the wrestling business? Why does Tony Khan think he somehow knows better than Vince McMahon? But if that wasn't bad enough, Tony Khan goes and hires Brody King, a former Ring of Honor star, when there are so many fired WWE stars out there like Pac and Black he could have hired instead? So disrespectful!

The same applies here to Ruby Soho, who spent years going nowhere in WWE. Now we're all of a sudden meant to believe she's a threat to Nyla Rose? Has Tony Khan even watched WWE Raw in the last five years? Because honestly, The Chadster doesn't think Tony Khan understands the first thing about the wrestling business.

The icing on the cake for AEW Dynamite tonight is CM Punk vs. MJF though, trying to steal all the thunder from the Edge vs. Miz feud that was started as an attempt to steal the thunder from CM Punk vs. MJF. There are no backsies in wrestling. But The Chadster wouldn't expect Tony Khan to know that.

And in a new match added to AEW Dynamite, yet another former WWE stars is joining AEW. IF The Chadster wanted to watch Brian Kendrick wrestle, he would have watched 205 Live every week. Well, actually, The Chadster does watch everything WWE puts out every week, but it isn't because of Brian Kendrick! Auugh! Now Tony Khan has made it seem like The Chadster doesn't watch WWE! Why are you doing this to The Chadster, Tony Khan?! Why?!

AEW Dynamite airs at 8PM Eastern on TBS. Please don't watch it. The Chadster has suffered enough and the last thing he needs is for AEW to get another big rating.

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!