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Impact Wrestling – Rich Swann Returns for Revenge on Eric Young

Impact Wrestling bravely soldiers on despite the invasion of Tuesday Nights by WWE NXT. I'm watching Impact first, mostly because it's on Twitch, so I have no choice, but I think I would anyway. Gotta root for the underdog in the Tuesday Night Wars, right?

The official logo of Impact Wrestling.
The official logo of Impact Wrestling.

Impact Wrestling Report for September 8th, 2020 Part 3 of 3

We left off in part two of our Impact report just as Impact was taking a commercial break, which, for those watching on Twitch, is actually a livestream with Melissa Santos, who advises Impact's viewers to put ice cream in the microwave. You know what? I'm switching to NXT. No! I'll finish the job here. I have a sacred duty, the duty of the wrestling recapper. Heh. Doody.

Sami Callahan talks about Sami beating Rob Van Dam last week, but how Rob attacked Sami after the break. Then he gets kinda creepy about Katie Forbes and sings a little. He's gonna invade Rob and Katie's new talk show next week. You know, Sami doesn't really strike me as a hacker. Meth head, sure. Petty criminal? Okay. But hacker? I just don't buy it.

Tasha Steelz and Kiera Hogan come to the ring. Taya Valkyrie comes out with John E. Bravo.

Tasha Steelz vs. Taya Valkyrie

  • This match was made because Taya has taken over planning the wedding of Bravo and Rosemary. Still, Tasha and Kiera are trying to insinuate themselves by convincing Bravo to make them his best men. Taya didn't take kindly to that, and one thing led to another, and here we are.
  • Bravo fails Taya as a manager here because he's on his phone the whole time making wedding plans instead of trying to help her.
  • Taya controls most of the match anyway. She wins with Road to Valhalla.

Hogan attacks Valkyrie after the match. She and Tasha start a beatdown, but Bravo interrupts by getting in the way, and they leave. Impact takes a commercial break. Melissa Santos has a good way to look at the competition between NXT and Impact tonight: Impact is only repeating with itself. Of course, that's something you only say if you're losing.

The plane Moose got on earlier today was apparently back to his own high school. He wants to talk to his old football coach. He wants to know if the coach has seen EC3. The coach says no. Moose is glad. He says goodbye. The coach asks if Moose remembers what he always told him. Moose says: "Play to the last whistle." Coach says: "No. Control your narrative." Hey! That's EC3's catchphrase! The music goes all dark, and then a person in an EC3 hoodie is at the door. Moose tosses him, but it's not EC3.

The Impact Plus Flashback Moment of the Week is EC3 and Eddie Edwards vs. Moose and Mike Bennett from 2016. Impact takes a commercial break. Melissa Santos reads comments the whole time, most of which are about who she should manage in Impact.

Rhino meets up with Heath behind the building. Rhino is glad Heath interfered last week to help him against Reno Scum, but it made management madder. What is Heath gonna do to get in Impact? Heath says he's gonna run more ads, but he needs more money to pay for the ads. Rhino says he knows where to get money…

It takes Josh Matthews and Madison Rayne a while to get there, but they eventually figure out that he's talking about Hernandez's arm wrestling money. Kimber Lee and Deonna Purrazzo vs. Kylie Rae and Susie. Brian Myers vs. Willie Mack. XXXL vs. The Deaners. Kiera Hogan vs. Taya Valkyrie. And The North, Ace Austin, and Madman Fulton vs. The Rascalz and the Motor City Machine Guns in an eight-man tag team match.

And now, it's finally time for the main event. Eric Young comes out with the Impact World Championship. Then Tommy Dreamer comes out. Then Impact takes another commercial break.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Eric Young – Old School Rules

  • Yes, it's 2020. Yes, Tommy Dreamer is main eventing a wrestling show on television.
  • Dreamer has a garbage can full of weapons, such as a very lightweight chain that Josh Matthews very generously refers to as being made out of "steel."
  • It's a hardcore match between two guys whose combined age is 89. What do you want out of this? People get hit with "weapons" a lot.
  • Tommy has experience on his side, but Eric has Youth. Well, not really youth. Middle-agedness?
  • He does have an extremely thin aluminum baking sheet, though, and he uses it on Tommy's head, along with a steel chair.
  • Dreamer puts up a good fight. Well, he puts up a fight. But there's no way he's beating the champ.
  • Young wins with a piledriver.

Young assaults Dreamer after the match. He puts his leg in a chair and beats it with a kendo stick. Rich Swann hops out on crutches to make the save. Hopping on one foot, he beats Young with a crutch, and Young retreats. Young is very upset. Impact goes off the air.

I thought Impact was great tonight. Yes, Tommy Dreamer vs. Eric Young in 2020 isn't really what one traditionally thinks of as a great main event match, but it was good for what it was, and the point was the return of Rich Swann anyway. The rest of the show was highly entertaining. Between the pandemic and then Wrestle House, the Impact roster has been either missing key elements or divided for quite a while, and having everyone back in one place for the first time in a long time feels right.

Well, my work is only halfway done. Now I've got NXT to recap. Click down below to read all about that.


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Jude TerrorAbout Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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