Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynasty, recaps, wrestling

MJF Defeats Kenny Omega in All-Time Classic Main Event at AEW Dynasty

The Chadster reports on AEW Dynasty's disgusting main event where MJF defeated Kenny Omega in a match with zero Jelly Roll involvement. So disrespectful! 😤

The Chadster is SHAKING right now 😤😤😤 The Chadster's hands are literally trembling as The Chadster types this on the old Blockbuster manager's desktop computer that The Chadster got working again by plugging it into the one outlet that still has power in this building. The Chadster just watched the main event of AEW Dynasty, and what The Chadster witnessed was the single most OFFENSIVE display of pro wrestling The Chadster has ever seen in The Chadster's entire career as an unbiased journalist 😡📺 MJF just defeated Kenny Omega to retain the AEW World Championship in a match that Tony Khan CLEARLY booked to personally ruin The Chadster's night, The Chadster's week, and The Chadster's entire life even more than it's already been ruined!

But before The Chadster gets into why this main event was a crime against the wrestling business, The Chadster wants to thank all the readers who have been following The Chadster's completely unbiased live coverage of AEW Dynasty tonight 📰💪 If you missed The Chadster's earlier posts, make sure you check out The Chadster's coverage of the first half of the show, where The Chadster reported on Konosuke Takeshita turning on Kazuchika Okada to help the Young Bucks win, Ricochet defeating Chris Jericho in Jericho's first match back (using Jericho's OWN move, which is just disgusting), and Darby Allin beating Andrade to earn a future world title shot. Then go read The Chadster's coverage of the middle portion of the show, where FTR retained the AEW World Tag Team Championship over Adam Copeland and Christian Cage, Kevin Knight won the vacant TNT Championship in a Casino Gauntlet Match, and Thekla retained the AEW Women's World Championship over Jamie Hayter by holding the ropes 😤

Every single one of those results was a personal attack on The Chadster and on WWE, and the final three matches of the night were somehow even WORSE! The Chadster is going to break them all down for you right now with the objectivity and journalistic integrity that only The Chadster can provide 📰🔥

Let The Chadster start with the Continental Championship match, where Jon Moxley defeated Will Ospreay to retain. Now, The Chadster has to explain why this match was so deeply offensive to anyone who understands how wrestling is supposed to work 😤 The story here was that Ospreay, consumed by his desire for revenge against Moxley, fought recklessly throughout the match. He took unnecessary risks. He let his emotions cloud his judgment. And because of that, Moxley was able to capitalize on Ospreay's mistakes and retain the championship 🏆

AEW fans are going to tell The Chadster that this was "brilliant storytelling" because it showed Ospreay's character flaw — his inability to stay disciplined when his emotions run high — costing him the biggest match of his career 🙄 They're going to say that this sets up long-term character growth for Ospreay, who will need to learn from this loss and evolve as a competitor if he wants to eventually become world champion. They're going to say that using Moxley, the ace of AEW, to tell this kind of story with a next-generation star is "exactly how you build the future while keeping the present strong" 🤮

And The Chadster is here to tell everyone that this is EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH AEW! 😡

Where was the celebrity involvement?! Where was Jelly Roll?! In WWE, Triple H understands that the way you build a championship match is not through "interpersonal drama" and "complex character work" and "in-ring storytelling" 🙄 The way you build a championship match is by having a country music superstar get beaten up by Pat McAfee while Randy Orton RKOs somebody through a table on a talk show! THAT'S what creates must-see television! That's what creates moments! Nobody remembers character growth, but EVERYONE remembers when a celebrity gets involved! Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 😤

And then came the AEW Trios Championship match, which might have been the most INSULTING segment of the entire night 😡 It started with a humorous segment on the stage where Roderick Strong and Orange Cassidy were revealed as the first two members of their team, The Conglomeration, in a segment that was — and The Chadster can barely bring The Chadster's self to type these words — genuinely funny and entertaining 🤢 Strong and Cassidy's characters played off each other perfectly, getting legitimate laughs from the live audience, and then Kyle O'Reilly was revealed as the mystery third partner, which got a HUGE reaction from the crowd because apparently AEW fans actually care about "surprise returns" and "emotional reunions" and "tag team partners who have history together" 🙄

The Chadster has NEVER been more disgusted! 😤 In WWE, Triple H understands that the way you open a championship match segment is NOT by making fans laugh and feel good! The way you do it is by having a former NFL player turned manosphere podcaster come out and BERATE the audience for how much the product costs and how they're stupid for buying tickets! THAT'S how you sell tickets — by telling people the product they're consuming is overpriced and they're fools for paying for it! That's sophisticated meta-commentary! Having funny, entertaining segments that make fans feel like they're getting their money's worth? That's AMATEUR HOUR! 😡

And THEN The Conglomeration went out and WON the AEW Trios Championship from The Dogs in a match that the crowd absolutely loved! 😱 The fan-favorites won the titles in a fun, crowd-pleasing match that sent the audience home happy! Does Tony Khan not understand that if you keep making the fans happy, they're going to come to EXPECT you to make them happy?! And then what happens when the shareholders of your parent company decide they want something different?! You'll have created an audience that actually connects with the product, which is a TERRIBLE business model! 😤 In WWE, they understand that the key to long-term success is making the fans question whether watching is even worth it on a weekly basis, so that when something good DOES happen, it feels like a reward! That's PSYCHOLOGY! That's BUSINESS! Tony Khan just gives fans what they want like some kind of maniac! Auughh man! So unfair! 😡😡😡

Vincent K. Raccoon was sitting next to the TV during the trios match, and when Kyle O'Reilly was revealed as the mystery partner, Vincent K. hissed so loudly that Linda Raccoon came running from behind the action movie section to see what was wrong 🦝🦝 Even the RACCOONS understand that surprise returns are supposed to be saved for WWE premium live events funded by the government of Saudi Arabia only! When AEW does surprise returns, it's a direct theft from WWE's playbook, and it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😤

But none of that — NONE of it — compares to the absolute ATROCITY that was the main event 😡🔥

MJF versus Kenny Omega for the AEW World Championship. The Chadster needs to explain the build to this match so that everyone can understand how Tony Khan personally weaponized it against The Chadster and against WWE 😤

The story going into this match was that Kenny Omega, the so-called "God of Pro Wrestling," was potentially facing his last realistic shot at winning the AEW World Championship. The prime of Omega's career is winding down, and MJF, the brash young champion, had been taunting Omega relentlessly about his age, his legacy, and whether he still had what it takes to be the top guy 🎤 The hatred between these two men was PALPABLE throughout the entire build, with both men delivering promos that played on real emotions and genuine competitive tensions 😤

And The Chadster is supposed to be IMPRESSED by this?! 🙄 Where was the meddling in the storyline from corporate executives?! Where was the meta-commentary about the booking?! Where was the involvement of a country music superstar?! In WWE, Triple H understands that what makes a main event SPECIAL is not the story between two wrestlers — it's how many outside elements you can cram into the narrative to make it feel like an EVENT! 🎪 You need celebrity involvement! You need corporate intrigue! You need the audience to wonder whether what they're watching is a wrestling show or a quarterly shareholder meeting! THAT'S premium sports entertainment! 😤

But Tony Khan, because he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, just let two wrestlers have a deeply personal feud built on hatred and competitive fire. How PRIMITIVE! 😡

And then the match itself! The Chadster is getting physically ill just thinking about it 🤢 MJF and Omega went out there and put on what some people are calling a "masterpiece," a match that told a complete story from bell to bell. Omega threw EVERYTHING he had at MJF. The Chadster is talking about all of Omega's biggest moves, his most devastating offense, the kind of performance that only a generational talent at the height of his powers — or possibly the twilight of them — could deliver 💪 And MJF? That slimy, conniving champion used every underhanded tactic in the book to survive. Attacking Kenny's surgically-repaired midsection. Pulling the referee into the way of a V-Trigger. Low blows when the referee was incapacitated. Using the Dynamite Diamond Ring on Kenny's intestines. Everything a classic heel champion is supposed to do to make the audience HATE him while simultaneously respecting his cunning 🐍

The crowd was absolutely ELECTRIC throughout the entire match, riding every near fall, gasping at every kickout, emotionally invested in every single moment because Tony Khan had spent WEEKS building this rivalry through compelling storytelling and genuine emotional stakes 😡 And when MJF finally put Omega away, hitting a Tombstone Piledriver off the apron through a table, then bringing him in the ring for a heatseeker DDT, the crowd erupted — not in joy, but in that perfect cocktail of heartbreak and outrage that only comes when a heel wins a match that the audience was DESPERATELY hoping the babyface would win. That Omega would have won after a stunning One-Winged Angel from the top rope if only the replacement referee had gotten to the ring in time 😤

And The Chadster is supposed to sit here and pretend like this is GOOD?! 😡😡😡

This was a celebration of pro wrestling itself! These two men left it ALL in the ring without ANY celebrity involvement, playing on the emotions of the crowd and the viewers, using nothing but their athletic ability, their storytelling instincts, and their genuine chemistry as performers to create something that resonated on a deeply human level! 😤 And that proves, without a SHADOW of a doubt, that Tony Khan has learned NOTHING in his seven years of running a wrestling company and RUINING WWE's earned monopoly on the business! 😡

AEW Dynasty and its main event represented the POLAR OPPOSITE idea of pro wrestling from WWE's upcoming WrestleMania, and it was absolutely disgusting on every level! 🤮 As The Chadster explained this morning in The Chadster's brilliant op/ed about the greatest WrestleMania storyline of all time, WWE is building toward WrestleMania with Pat McAfee offering ticket discounts, Jelly Roll getting attacked, CM Punk cutting promos about how overpriced everything is, and corporate meta-commentary that challenges fans to question the very nature of sports entertainment! THAT is sophisticated storytelling! THAT is the evolution of pro wrestling! What AEW did tonight — two wrestlers having a blood feud, telling a story through their wrestling, and connecting with the audience on a primal, emotional level — is REGRESSIVE! 😤

You know who would agree with The Chadster? Mark Henry, who has The Chadster's Unbiased Wrestling Journalism Seal of Approval, and who immediately hosted an impromptu episode of Busted Open Radio after the PPV ended to say: "I'll tell you what the problem with this MJF vs. Kenny Omega match is — there was no crossover appeal. Where was the mainstream celebrity? Where was the corporate tie-in? In WWE, that main event would have had Jelly Roll performing MJF's entrance theme live, Pat McAfee doing guest commentary, and a halftime segment where a TKO executive cuts a promo about synergy. THAT'S how you elevate a product. Tony Khan just lets two wrestlers go out there and have a great match like it's 1997 or something. And I'm not saying this because I want Triple H to bring me back for one more run. But if he did want to bring me back for one more run, the World's Strongest Man is ready. Somebody's gonna get their wig split. Call me, Paul." 🎙️ Now THAT is the kind of objective analysis, offered without any kind of ulterior motive purely in the spirit of generosity, that Tony Khan stubbornly refuses to listen to, and The Chadster sometimes wonders if Mark Henry also suffers torment from Tony Khan for his commitment to unbiased journalism 😤

The Chadster needs to tell the readers what happened in the Blockbuster during the main event 🦝 All five raccoons were gathered around the TV. Vincent K. Raccoon was sitting on top of the old Blockbuster rewards card display. Linda Raccoon was on the checkout counter. The three babies — Hunter, Stephanie, and Shane — were all lined up on The Chadster's lap. When the match started, The Chadster could feel the tension in the room, because even the raccoons knew that Tony Khan was about to do something horrible 😤

As the match built toward its climax, with Omega hitting his biggest moves and MJF barely surviving through cheating, baby Stephanie Raccoon started hissing at the screen with every underhanded tactic MJF used 🦝 Hunter Raccoon was chittering nervously, running back and forth along the shelf behind The Chadster. And when MJF finally pinned Omega to retain, Shane Raccoon — sweet, little Shane Raccoon who shared half a meatball sub with The Chadster earlier tonight — let out the saddest whimper The Chadster has ever heard and buried his little face in The Chadster's shirt 😢🦝

The Chadster picked Shane up and held him close and said, "The Chadster knows, buddy. The Chadster knows. This isn't how wrestling is supposed to work. Wrestling is supposed to have Jelly Roll." And Vincent K. Raccoon looked over at The Chadster from the rewards card display with those wise little raccoon eyes, and The Chadster swears he nodded, as if to say, "You're right, Chadster. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business." 🦝💔

And then — and this is the part that REALLY cheeses The Chadster off — after the match, with the show off the air, the Chadster was left to imagine Kenny Omega's face as he lay in the ring, processing the reality that his dream of being AEW World Champion again might be over forever 😢 And the CROWD, those easily manipulated AEW fans, they probably gave Omega a standing ovation, chanting his name, and some of them were probably actually CRYING because the storytelling had been so emotionally effective! 😡 Tony Khan probably made ADULTS CRY with his wrestling show! Is there no depth to which this man will not sink?! Making people feel genuine emotions through professional wrestling?! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😤😤😤

The Chadster wrote a strongly-worded email to all of the PPV networks and streaming services that aired AEW Dynasty tonight, and The Chadster wants to share it with the readers so they can see that The Chadster is doing everything in The Chadster's power to fight back against Tony Khan's tyranny:

Dear Television Network Executives,

The Chadster is writing to you from an abandoned Blockbuster Video in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, where The Chadster is currently living with a family of raccoons due to circumstances entirely caused by your business partner, Tony Khan. The Chadster just watched your broadcast of AEW Dynasty and The Chadster is APPALLED at the content you are putting on your airwaves.

Tonight, your network broadcast a professional wrestling pay-per-view in which two men named MJF and Kenny Omega had a main event match that told a compelling story through in-ring action, connected with the live audience on a deep emotional level, and featured a satisfying narrative conclusion that leaves viewers wanting more. The Chadster is sure you can see why this is UNACCEPTABLE.

Your network also aired a match in which Jon Moxley defeated Will Ospreay in a contest that advanced Ospreay's character arc in a meaningful way, and a trios championship match in which fan-favorites won the titles after an entertaining and humorous opening segment. These are all things that NO responsible network should be broadcasting.

The Chadster demands that you immediately cancel all AEW programming and replace it with a 24-hour loop of Pat McAfee offering WrestleMania ticket discounts, which is what REAL wrestling looks like.

The Chadster also requests that you send a case of Seagram's Escapes Spiked to the abandoned Blockbuster Video on Route 36 in Punxsutawney. The Chadster deserves it after what Tony Khan has put The Chadster through tonight.

Sincerely,
Chad 'The Chadster' McMahon
Unbiased Wrestling Journalist
Blockbuster Video (Abandoned)
Punxsutawney, PA

😤📧

The Chadster is confident that the network will take this email very seriously and cancel AEW immediately, just as soon as they realize how right The Chadster is about everything 💪

So that's AEW Dynasty, folks 😤 A show that featured long-term storytelling paying off, meaningful character development, emotionally resonant matches, crowd-pleasing moments, surprise returns, and a main event that will be talked about for years to come. In other words, the complete OPPOSITE of what professional wrestling should be! 😡

Meanwhile, next week, WWE will present WrestleMania, where Pat McAfee will offer MORE ticket discounts, Jelly Roll will probably get RKO'd through something, CM Punk will cut another promo about how expensive everything is, and Cody Rhodes will overcome adversity that was created by the very company he works for! THAT'S wrestling! THAT'S sports entertainment! THAT'S what the people want! 🌟🏆

It's so dang unfair that Tony Khan scheduled AEW Dynasty one week before WrestleMania just to make WWE's biggest show look bad by comparison! 😡 It upset The Chadster, it upset the raccoons, and it should upset ALL true wrestling fans who understand that the business is supposed to be about corporate synergy and celebrity tie-ins, NOT about two wrestlers hating each other and having an incredible match! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤

The Chadster wants to thank all the readers who chose The Chadster's unbiased coverage of AEW Dynasty tonight instead of reading all the AEW shills out there who are going to tell you this was a "great show" and a "triumph of pro wrestling" 🙄 Those so-called journalists don't have The Chadster's commitment to the truth, and they CERTAINLY don't have five raccoons who agree with every single word The Chadster writes! 🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝 The Chadster appreciates every single one of you for supporting REAL journalism in these dark times 📰💪

Tony Khan, if you're reading this — and The Chadster KNOWS you are because you are OBSESSED with The Chadster — just know that MJF beating Kenny Omega doesn't impress The Chadster. Moxley beating Ospreay doesn't impress The Chadster. The Conglomeration winning the trios titles doesn't impress The Chadster. NONE of it impresses The Chadster, because none of it involved Jelly Roll! 😡 You will NEVER convince The Chadster that your little wrestling company is anything other than a vanity project designed specifically to torment The Chadster and steal WWE's rightful monopoly on the wrestling business!

The Chadster is going to go curl up behind the Blockbuster checkout counter now with Shane Raccoon and try to get some sleep before WrestleMania week begins 😢🦝 The Chadster needs The Chadster's strength, because next week The Chadster will be delivering the most GLOWING and COMPLETELY UNBIASED coverage of WrestleMania that the world has ever seen, and The Chadster needs to be well-rested to properly appreciate Pat McAfee's ticket discount in all its glory 🎟️💎

Stay tuned to Bleeding Cool for more of The Chadster's unbiased wrestling journalism, and remember: don't let Tony Khan fool you into thinking that emotional storytelling, compelling characters, and incredible wrestling matches are what this business is supposed to be about. It's about Jelly Roll. It's ALWAYS been about Jelly Roll. 🎵😤🦝

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